


Sheffield, Day 3

by ChristianHowe, helena_s_renn



Series: Eleven Strings – yksitoista kieltä [16]
Category: Def Leppard, Sonata Arctica
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-03-09 11:25:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 69,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13480500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChristianHowe/pseuds/ChristianHowe, https://archiveofourown.org/users/helena_s_renn/pseuds/helena_s_renn
Summary: Jani visits Sav in England for a few days. On day 3 the boys have, again, a lot of sex, but they also talk -- probably for the first time in their lives.





	1. Breakfast

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Not ours, not true; as far as the authors are aware, none of this ever happened.

* * *

When Jani opened his eyes this time, he wasn't disoriented. Smiling to himself, he thought that Sav's place already felt like home to him. He yawned and decided that he needed to pee. Carefully extricating himself from Sav's arms so as to not wake him, Jani padded over to the bathroom, frowning when his eyes fell on the clock that said nine. This couldn't be right. It took him a moment to remember that they used AM and PM in the UK, however, when he checked his mobile phone to confirm, he found to his surprise that it was really morning. They must have slept since the late afternoon when they'd laid down for a nap... okay, they'd laid down for some rest, then had sex, _then_ had agreed to nap, but they'd still slept from late afternoon through the night.

What a waste of precious time! Jani felt guilty for always being tired. He'd been tired since having been released from the hospital, slowly improving and no longer feeling completely exhausted from walking the few metres between his bed and the bathroom in his flat in Kemi, but his illness had been a month ago, so why was he still so fucking tired all the time?

Well, at least, he apparently wasn't the only one. After peeing, then washing his hands and face as well as brushing his teeth, Jani returned to the bedroom and watched his sleeping lover. Sav looked relaxed and at ease, and Jani felt a surge of warmth in his heart. Just when he pondered how to wiggle back into Sav's arms without waking him, he had an idea: Sav had made breakfast for him the day before. Jani would take waking up earlier than Sav as an opportunity to return the favour.

He grabbed his sweat pants and tee-shirt, deciding to remain barefoot as one of his socks seemed to have vapourised during the night, and walked quietly down to the kitchen. On the stairs, he grinned and winced at the same time, remembering their earlier activities. The carpet looked as if their cleaning attempt had been successful. Clenching his sphincter suggested that he'd want to take it easy today but as long as they were gentle, he'd be very happy to have Sav take him again.

But first things first. Sav had told him to feel at home, so Jani felt encouraged to check the cupboards in the kitchen for anything he'd need. Finnish breakfast typically consisted of bread with something savoury, ham, cheese, sausage, fish, but nothing was cooked. Well, he was here to learn, right? His cooking skills weren't worth mentioning, but he could do scrambled eggs. He could also do chili, so knowing how to fry minced meat should work for frying bacon, too. He found a frying pan – two, actually – and a toaster in one of the cupboards. Bread, butter, bacon and eggs were in the fridge. Right then.

Jani made himself a plain coffee while he put everything he'd need on the kitchen counter. Sav's stove had both gas and electric; Jani decide to stick with electric since that was what he was used to. Or what he'd be used to if he actually cooked. He couldn't find oil for greasing the pan but decided that butter would do. Mixing the eggs in a bowl, he tried to remember if milk should be added. Since he wasn't sure, he left it out, better safe than sorry, but he put pepper and salt in. Sav had a selection of spices but Jani thought he'd better not risk ruining breakfast with experiments.

He put the bacon in one pan and the egg mix in the second, then the bread in the toaster. It was white bread, not the dark rye type he was used to at home, but for toasting, white bread was the better choice anyway. Not sure how long the actual frying would take, he made himself another coffee, hazelnut this time, then a caramel one for Sav. The flavoured ones were nice with a splash of milk. Feeling stupid because he couldn't remember if Sav took sugar – they'd even joked about where the sugar bowl was, how was it possible that Jani didn't know how Sav drank his coffee? – he put the sugar bowl on the tray they'd used yesterday.

To his – pleasant – surprise, everything was ready at the same time. Jani smiled as he heaped the food on two plates and set them on the tray as well. He didn't forget to add silverware either. Balancing the tray upstairs wasn't a problem for him, unlike it had appeared when Sav had done it, but unlike his lover, Jani didn't have to deal with a messed-up shoulder.

When he entered the bedroom, however, he hesitated, suddenly insecure again. Sav looked so relaxed in his sleep, should Jani really wake him?

* * *

He must be dreaming. Something smelled great, and Sav was ravenous! Jani was no longer sleeping in his arms or even the bed; he came to awareness when he reached for the warmth of another body but found only cool sheets. Sav didn't move yet. If Jani was in the bathroom, he'd be back soon.

Damn, how long had they slept? It was still light out, but Sav's limbs rested so heavy it was as if he'd been in bed for hours. He had to pee, but he could wait for a bit. It was easier to ignore if he was half-asleep, so he left himself drift.

* * *

Jani's heart ached as he watched his sleeping lover. He wished they could just stay like this forever. It was a scary thought that as long as Sav slept Jani couldn't hurt him by doing or saying something stupid...

Wrong: he was already doing something stupid by standing here and letting the food get cold. Assuming that it was edible in the first place, of course...

Swallowing, Jani struggled to make a decision. He didn't want to wake Sav, but if he didn't wake him up and Sav found out about it later, which he would... It would be wrong, too. Helvetti, why couldn't he just behave like any normal person would?

"Sav?" Jani finally whispered, hoping and fearing at the same time that Sav would hear it and wake up.

* * *

_"Sav?"_ It was soft, but clear. It couldn't be anyone else but Jani. If he'd screwed up the days with the cleaning staff, they wouldn't address him in that manner, if they spoke to him at all. Opening one eye then the other, Sav rubbed at them. Yup, he'd fallen asleep in contacts again. Even with blurred vision, Sav could make out that it was Jani who stood near the bed, dressed, and he was holding something. "Hey... did you have a good nap? What time is it?"

* * *

"Nine-thirty," Jani said and hung his head. "In the morning. I know it's early and I didn't want to wake you, but..." He swallowed. "There's food... and, well... you're probably not hungry anyway... You know what, I'll just let you sleep some more."

* * *

"Oh wow, we slept like the dead!" Sav sat up. He couldn't possibly sleep any longer. "Don't go anywhere with that food, I'm starving! I think I dreamt about something smelling delicious. But first, gotta pee!" He almost had to dance to the bathroom, seriously hoping Jani didn't take the breakfast back downstairs.

Finally he finished and washed his hands. Excessive blinking had somewhat cleared his eyes. For good measure, he put a drop or two of saline in each, blinked some more, and left it at that. "Maybe after this we should set an alarm... guess we wore ourselves out. What did you make? I thought you said you couldn't cook. Looks like you managed." Bacon, definitely. So probably eggs, too. Sav smiled, both at the anticipation of filling his empty belly and at Jani's thoughtfulness, and sat down on the bed, still naked. Just for the sake of a small modicum of propriety, he pulled the sheet across his lap.

* * *

"Are you sure?" Jani asked, but Sav was already on his way to the bathroom. When he returned, he made it clear that he wanted Jani to stay, and Jani sighed a relieved breath. He let Sav settle on the bed and cover himself, then he approached with the tray.

"I can't cook," he confirmed, "meaning what you see here is about the extent of what I can do. I can also boil pasta with ready-made pasta sauce, nuke what some call TV dinners, and bake frozen pizzas. You might want to try this before saying anything more about 'delicious', but it should be edible."

Looking at the tray, Jani frowned. "Perkele, I forgot to bring salt and pepper. Be right back."

* * *

Nodding, Sav let him go do his little errand. If Jani was worried about the taste of his cooking, neither of them would enjoy it. He decided to wait for Jani to return before trying anything, though his stomach rumbled again. He reached for the coffee. Dammit! His shoulder twinged, hard. Sav winced and moved a bit closer to the tray. Drawing his feet up, he switched to sitting cross-legged. After breakfast, he was going to take a long, hot shower or bath. He really needed to take it easy on it between now and going back on tour. Perhaps his acupuncturist could help.

Hm, Jani was taking his time. Sav was sure he'd left the salt and pepper out on the counter from when he'd cooked the previous morning. Maybe his ridiculous house was larger than he thought.

* * *

Jani returned to the kitchen and picked up salt and pepper from where he'd left them. Before he could leave the kitchen again, however, he felt a tickling in his nose and quickly set them down again as to not drop them when he sneezed violently. Perkele, hopefully he'd only caught a whiff of pepper! The last thing he needed right now was coming down with a cold. Looking around, he helped himself to a sheet of the kitchen roll to blow his nose before washing his hands and repairing back to the bedroom.

* * *

Jani reappeared with the salt and pepper shakers. Now Sav had more than one reason to salivate. He smiled in greeting and picked his fork. Taking a bite of eggs, Sav asked for the salt and sprinkled on a little. There was enough pepper for him. "Thanks!" He bit back a further compliment. Well, Jani could take him eating heartily and not gagging as proof that his cooking was acceptable.

"What time's your appointment with my GP today? Sorry, I can't remember." Sav thought it was after lunch, but wasn't entirely sure. If it was earlier, they'd have to hurry. He picked up a piece of bacon. "Nice and crispy, just how I like it."

* * *

Sav ate ravenously, adding just a little salt after a first taste. Jani was hungry, too, but he thought the eggs were way too bland, so he put a lot of pepper and salt on his portion. Well, at least he got the amount of pepper right for Sav.

"They said to come in at the same time as yesterday," Jani answered Sav's question, then hesitated before continuing, "Look, you don't have to come with me if you'd rather stay here. I'm sure I can find my way there. And back, of course," he winked.

* * *

It was a valid offer, he supposed. But... Sav couldn't decide if this was Jani trying to not be bothersome, as he thought Jani might see it, or if he really wanted to go to the appointment alone. Besides privacy, it could be that he needed a break, and that their constant togetherness was overpowering. Or maybe Jani wanted to shop at that clothing store they'd skipped yesterday. He needed to answer, though. "I don't mind going with you, Jani, and I mean that. I like being with you, and it's a chance to get out of the house, take a walk. But if you prefer to go on your own, I respect that. I'm sure you can find the way."

Sav smiled again and hoped that was right, and that Jani didn't think that he – Sav – needed company to leave his own house. That would just be pathetic. He took a sip of coffee, and ate more bacon.

* * *

"I don't want you to stay here," Jani clarified. "I want you to come with me – but I don't want to force you to come with." He grimaced and continued in a softer voice, "I appreciate your help, always. You were there for me when I couldn't deal with things myself, like when I broke my finger or, well, yes, when I was a little too drunk last weekend, and I can't thank you enough for that. But this is a different situation now, where I can handle it myself. As I said, I _want_ you to come with me, but unlike in Milan and Ankkarock I don't _need_ you to do it." He stabbed a piece of bacon and stuffed it into his mouth, glad to have an excuse to look at his plate rather than at Sav.

Jani hated to be seen when he felt weak. It was bad enough to admit that there were situations where he needed help, but he had to make it clear that he knew the difference between depending on Sav's support and simply wanting it because he always wanted to be close to him.

* * *

"Okay, that's sorted, then." Good. As far as Sav could tell, Jani meant what he said, and wasn't just 'allowing' Sav to go along with him to make him happy or whatever. "I'm happy to see that you're making yourself at home here. You didn't have to make me breakfast in bed, but I like that you did... was so hungry!"

After another bite, Sav went on about the day, potentially. "I can hardly believe it, but we still haven't availed ourselves of the music room. Maybe this afternoon? I should do a load or two of laundry, thanks to our loads," he laughed. "We – especially you – do make a mess. Which I love and admire," he winked, then glanced up at the ceiling as a reminder of their first night here.

* * *

"You made breakfast for me... us yesterday, so it was only fair that I did it today," Jani protested. "I... liked when you did it, too. And as for laundry, _we_ should do it, not you." He focused on his plate again and ate more egg. "You said that you're happy to see that I'm making myself at home, which, to me, also means that I do my share of the work. Especially since I, um, contributed... to... the mess."

Jani looked up defiantly and met Sav's eyes. "And I'm sure I did _not_ hit the ceiling!"

* * *

Squinting upwards again, Sav laughed. "Oh, I suppose not, the ceiling is quite high. And I'd rather not crawl up a ladder to clean it. That'd be another example of 'Get your old arse down!'" he mimicked his tour manager.

By now, Sav had cleaned his plate. Since there was bacon rather than steak, he wasn't as stuffed as yesterday, just pleasantly full. The coffee had cooled enough that he drank the rest of it down. "I'm going to clean up now; I could stand a hot shower, no doubt I reek. If you want to put off kitchen duty till I'm done, I can help you wash the dishes." Maybe Jani would want to help him wash himself, but then he remembered: Jani didn't like shower sex. It didn't have to lead to sex, but it always seemed to, not that he minded.

* * *

Jani laughed with Sav until Sav announced he was going to hit the shower. "I think I'll shower after dealing with the kitchen," he said. "I always feel grimy after doing the dishes, but you go ahead. With any luck, I'll be done downstairs when you finish in the bathroom. Then you won't have to see the havoc I wreaked," Jani winked.

"On the other hand, is it just me or are we going to get, well, dirty again soon anyway? Maybe I should wait with the shower until after that, too, and clean up just before we have to leave for the doctor."

* * *

"Oh?" Sav set his plate on the tray and honed in on Jani, who had other ideas of how they might proceed. "Did you wanna? Then fuck the housework and..." To say he waggled his eyebrows was probably only half true, but he gave it his best shot. It would make more sense to do things in the order Jani suggested... if they could wait that long now that the idea had been... raised.

* * *

"I suppose we should clear the bed," Jani laughed. He took the tray and set it on the floor. "I'll take care of this later. First things first. So," he said, suddenly a little shy again, "I've um, recovered some during the night. In that sense it's good that we slept so long. Because I, well, want you in me again. I mean, I love your hands on me, and everything, but I've got hands myself, so I can do that and pretend it's yours when we're separated. But..."

He broke into giggles. "Sorry, I was about to say I don't have a dick, but that's of course not what I meant. I mean, there's no way to get my dick into me, so I want to make the best out of yours while I'm here. Sorry if this sounds stupid and silly, but," Jani turned serious again, "I really want you."

* * *

It was always the same: Jani saying he wanted him never failed to get him hard. "It's not silly or stupid," Sav replied, shifting his butt on the bed. "I want that, too, what you said. And... I'll take it easy on you... sometimes slow and gentle is... the best." He swallowed hard; his eyes burned, picturing himself slowly, lovingly moving above Jani, who wrapped his arms and legs around him, both of them raising their voices together in rapture.

Before his higher brain functions totally fritzed, Sav decided to address the other things Jani had alluded to. "I get it... my dick, to put into you. You most certainly have one of your own, for me to play with. I think that I'm going to imagine what you just said, your hands on yourself, a lot, in the future. And um." Why was he shy now? That was so ridiculous. Sav lowered his lashes. "I'll likely be doing plenty of that, myself."

* * *

"Are you going to stay in hotels now and then when you're on tour?" Jani asked. "If so, and if you have a single room, you could call me. If you want, that is." The last few times he'd called Anni while he'd toured the US with Sonata, she hadn't been thrilled, to put it mildly. Then again, he was usually drunk and they hadn't had sex in ages... Jani tried to remember why he'd called her from there in the first place, knowing that with the different time zones and her working schedule his calls weren't always welcome...

"Sorry," he apologised so Sav. "I just remembered my last attempt at phone sex. Or maybe I shouldn't have told you that. Anyway, it didn't go well but I'd love to try it with you. Although I'd better shut up now and have real sex with you rather than talking about what may or may not happen once we're on different continents. So, you'll take it easy on me," Jani changed the topic. "Since you're already naked under your sheet, should I undress, too?"

* * *

Hm, more info for Sav to consider at a later time. "We stay in hotels whenever we can. All of us are in our 40's now, even Rick, who's the baby. Sleeping in bunks isn't the most fun at the best of times. Whatever happened before, with your ex, I have a feeling it'll be a different story with us. Your voice in my ear, mine in yours... But, we'll see." Sav couldn't wait to try it.

He looked up at Jani. "If you want to..." Did he not want to? Had Sav read him wrong, or put his own desires into the fore? "Or I can undress you." A little tease couldn't hurt. Sav leaned back on his left elbow and pulled the sheet, just a tiny bit, enough to show more of his thighs. "Tit for tat?"

* * *

Jani didn't understand what Sav meant by 'tit for tat', but he didn't feel like asking for an explanation; he could always do that later. Sav had already announced that his agenda was slow and gentle. If they were in a hurry, Jani would undress himself because it was quicker than if Sav did it for him. However, Jani wanted to draw it out.

"You want to undress me?" he asked and smiled. "I think I'd like that. A lot."

* * *

"Me, too..." The sheet was pretence anyway. Sav let it slide off as he stood to remove Jani's clothes. But first... he took him into his arms, and kissed him. Jani tasted of coffee, and their breakfast. He slid his hands under Jani's shirt. The skin was warm, and he felt his way up Jani's back, slowly, inch by inch, raising the tee-shirt as he went. He'd get to the front later; avoiding more sensitive areas was one way to slow things down. "Raise your hands for me...?"

* * *

Sav stood and hugged him close. Jani smiled when he felt something poking his thigh. Their lips met in a kiss that was gentler than most of the kisses they'd shared in the past. Jani wasn't fully hard yet and he cherished the slow burn. Still, when Sav pushed his shirt up with his hands caressing him but avoiding his front, Jani's nipples tightened nevertheless. So yes, he was impatient. One more reason to let Sav call the shots.

Jani raised his hands as he was bidden and looked at Sav with shining eyes. "I love it when you seduce me," he whispered.

* * *

'Seduce'... Sav couldn't think of a time anyone had ever used that word on him before. Was that what he was doing? He certainly found Jani seductive. "I just love to have my hands on you, to watch and feel you respond..." This was as honest and blunt as he could get.

Since Jani had his arms overhead, Sav drew his shirt up further, sliding his hands up his shoulder blades, then the silky surfaces of his arms, the underside parts between his armpits and elbows that were pale and thin-skinned, past his face, but he had to ask for help for the rest of the way. "Sorry... My shoulder..." he said, not wanting Jani to make a big deal over it.

Well, Sav was more than aware of how to distract him. As Jani dropped the tee to the floor, Sav leaned down and bit and licked one nipple, circling it with the tip of his tongue. It was no secret he was already hard, but he stopped himself from any pressing or grinding, which tended to heat things up very fast. He'd said he wanted his hands on Jani before and that was true. One arm, he wrapped around his lover again, while the fingertips of the other hand tapped gently at the nipple he'd licked. Now, Sav focused his licking to Jani's neck. The pulse he found was faster than resting, the cords standing a little. He flicked his tongue over those points, one side, across his throat, then the other side.

* * *

"I love having your hands on me," Jani whispered, shivering deliciously. Sav slid his shirt up, but Jani could see that his shoulder was giving him trouble, so he quickly shrugged out of it. Just as he was about to apologise, Sav beat him to it. Jani raised an eyebrow at that but a hot tongue teasing his nipple put an end to anything he might have planned to reply.

His dick surged happily, then the tongue was replaced by fingertips. Sav wrapped an arm around him and moved his tongue to Jani's neck. "And I love your tongue, too," Jani gasped.

* * *

"Mmm, Jani... love that clever tongue of yours, too." Clever with words, clever with how to use it on Sav, physically. Though sex felt a little different with a woman, Sav couldn't help but think about how Jani might touch a female, make love to her. Would he be more aggressive, or did he prefer to let her take control? Did he like breasts, or was his number one thing what that shirt of his said?

Deciding not to bring this up now, Sav circled around Jani's side, caressing the contours of his chest. He made it leisurely, really feeling, touching, the warm skin. Jani had even less hairs on his chest than Sav, but there were a few, and he stroked them down. It filled Sav with smug happiness, love, and sexual urgency, to see those little buds pull tight, so tight, and the bulge at Jani's crotch growing. He planned to dally, making a lazy, indirect path downward.

* * *

It was a new experience for him: before today, whenever Sav had touched him, he and Jani had found themselves immediately engaged in full-blown sex. What they were doing now was different. Jani breathed deeply and let himself enjoy what Sav was doing. The gentle touches and licks were highly arousing, of course, but they were also sensual in a way that Jani hadn't noticed before, maybe because he'd been too horny to pay attention in the past.

He didn't quite understand it; usually, his dick took over the thinking as soon as he so much as thought of sex. This time, although he was obviously hard, the main thought on Jani's mind wasn't coming as hard and fast as possible. Instead, he found that he was relaxed – well, kind of – without the urge to finish soon. What he wanted was just to be here and let Sav sample him, lick him, touch him, love him. And then he wanted to respond to Sav in kind – later, so that Sav wouldn't be distracted by taking care of Jani.

Only... what if Sav wanted Jani's hands – and especially his tongue, as he'd just mentioned – on him _now?_ Jani was afraid that speaking up and asking would ruin the mood. Then again, his thinking about it was also about to ruin the mood...

For once, his brain didn't let him down and provided a solution. "I also love having my tongue on you," Jani said. "Looking forward to lickiing you and tasting you, later, if that's okay with you." Of course, he still felt stupid about his insecurity, but having phrased it this way he'd expressed what he'd like now as well as later, and Sav could respond with a simple yes or no without the need for a discussion. Maybe there was a chance for him to learn this relationship thing yet.

* * *

"Yes, that's totally okay. That'll be lovely... when we get to it," Sav purred. He scritched very lightly back and forth down Jani's torso, alternating the almost non-contact of his fingernails with little brushes of his fingertips, till he reached Jani's belly button. "Right now, I wanna keep touching you like we're swimming in treacle... slow till we can't stand it!"

With the pad of his index finger, Sav drew a circle around the rim of Jani's navel. He himself was a bit ticklish there so he didn't linger, but continued downward. It was almost a tease to his own self, not rocking his hips. About then, Sav felt the first bead of slick work itself up through his inner tubing and into open air where it immediately cooled. If he had started leaking, then Jani was probably way ahead of him. Well, let him... in a little while, he'd discover whatever was happening in his pants. For now, Sav petted the hairs of Jani's love line downward in fractional intervals till he reached the waistband of his sweatpants, but he didn't go underneath yet. Instead, he pressed lower till he cupped the bulge there, very gently squeezed, and just... held it.

By then, Sav noticed he'd been breathing somewhat heavily onto Jani's neck, but he hadn't been making much use of his mouth for a bit. Time to fix that! He kissed the point of Jani's shoulder and then licked it. Perhaps it was left over from chopping firewood when he was younger or his build was inherited from his family line, Jani's shoulders were proportioned so nicely, not skinny like some men whose width was narrower than the average woman's. For whatever reason, Sav was intensely attracted to that trait. He showed his appreciation by licking across the top of the shoulder to where the collarbone was attached.

* * *

Good. He hadn't been overly nervous, but Jani still breathed a relieved sigh when Sav said he was fine with Jani getting to him later. Now he could really relax and enjoy. Sav's next words made him giggle, though: "Swimming in treacle? Isn't that something like a sticky, syrupy sweet? Sorry, my English... But you said you find my taste sweet and we tend to get sticky, so..." he laughed happily.

Then, again, all thought fled from his brain when Sav's hands continued teasing him. Twitching when a delicate finger traced his navel, Jani shivered when the finger caressed his abdomen, trailed down the line of hair right to his waistband. He was disappointed for a moment when Sav didn't continue further, but then Sav cupped his balls and erection, very gently lifting the former and squeezing the latter. Jani let out the softest possible moan as the weight was taken off his heavy glands, then another when his dick throbbed against Sav's palm.

He suddenly wanted to place his hand on Sav's erection, too, feel the pulsing vein and press it against his, so that they could feel each other's heartbeats. However, Sav distracted him again when he returned to kissing his neck and shoulder, licking a line to the front until his tongue reached Jani's collarbone...

... and the world turned upside down as a wave of warmth and pleasure emanated from this seemingly innocuous part of his body. More blood surged to his dick and he was suddenly feeling very dizzy. "Sav..."

* * *

"Treacle's kinda like caramel, different taste, really thick. And yes, sticky." It was a delayed answer; Sav was busy licking Jani's collarbone by then. He traced the raised ridge of it toward the centre, toward that little hollow at the base of his throat, his tongue swiping like a cat cleaning a bowl.

Something was up. Jani's dick surged hard under his hand, almost like he was about to blow and that wasn't typical, even after a break of more than half a day. The young man swayed on his feet and said his name urgently. "Hm? Do you need to lay down?"

* * *

Jani tried to snort, but he was really feeling a little dizzy. "Maybe I'd better," he said, "lay down. It's all your fault – what you're doing to me leaves me without blood to my brain. Not complaining, though," he winked.

"So, lay down, should I take my pants off or does your offer to do it for me still stand? I hope I didn't ruin things, sorry for this..."

* * *

"Hush... don't apologise," whispered Sav. "No one expects you to think with this..." he squeezed Jani's erection through his pants, then slid his hand inside. "Oh fuck yeah...!" The pulse beat fast, like a rabbit on a date, as he'd heard once, and his palm was smeared with hot traces of juice.

In the first quick move since they'd started this tease, he stripped Jani's sweats and underwear down to his feet, kneeling down on one knee. Looking up, Sav was pretty sure Jani got the hint to step out of the pool of clothing. He was also amused to find Jani's dick in his face, and stuck out his tongue to lap at the bobbing appendage.

* * *

Sav pushed his pants and underwear down and Jani stepped out of them. His legs were a little shaky but he managed to keep his balance. That changed a second later when Sav's tongue found Jani's dick, making him hiss – and shake for an entirely different reason.

"Vittu, I really need to lay down. If any more blood follows the call of, um, let's call it gravity," Jani grinned, "I might pass out and then I won't be able to feel all the good things you're doing to me."

* * *

Sav stood again and guided Jani the few steps to the bed, and helped him lay down. Probably he didn't really need to, he just wanted to. The kid had it right about downward blood flow. It could be overuse, in which case, Sav didn't give a fuck, but his balls felt as heavy as Jani's had.

During his assist, he climbed up as well and lay down next to Jani. Dang it, now he wished he'd insisted on showering or bathing because he wanted nothing more than to put Jani on his hands and knees and eat him out for about an hour.

Well, maybe another time. Jani could only take so much penetration and eventually he'd have resort to other means, like it or not. Sav threw his leg across Jani's and picked up where he'd left off, at his collarbone, only on the other side. That had drawn quite a reaction, gasping and weak knees just as the beginning. If it was another hot spot, Sav was going to exploit the hell out of it. He was grinning like an idiot, but he managed to lick lightly toward the centre of Jani's neck. At this angle, he could also let the ends of his hair trail along Jani's skin. There was already salty sweat gathering in the little hollow – Jani wasn't exactly laying still for this. Sav lapped it up and leaned over to reach the other side.

* * *

Laying down was a relief: as soon as he was stretched out on Sav's – their – bed, Jani's head cleared a little. This didn't last long when Sav lay next to him and continued to lick along his collarbone. It made Jani feel dizzy again, in a very enjoyable way.

It was not only very enjoyable, but also surprising. Jani hadn't been aware that his collarbones were so sensitive. Then again, so much was new to him since he'd met Sav. Whatever, the gentle licks felt incredibly good. It was a slow burn rather than the bonfire that spread from his nipples every time Sav did something to them, but it was perfect, especially right now when Sav was taking it slow with him, teasing him, drawing things out.

"Mmmhhh... So good..." Jani purred.

* * *

How long Sav kept playing his mouth across those subtle erogenous areas, he couldn't say. Ten minutes? Twenty? He found using his lips, teeth and tongue rather than his hands did something for him, too, that especially his lips became highly sensitised and at times all he was doing was dragging them side to side across the curved ridges of bone, careful not to press in – he didn't want to give his partner stubble-burn upon his first discovery of this new source of joy. Jani was so relaxed now, laying there almost slack other than his dick which pulsed and jerked in the open air and leaked onto his lower belly, and which Sav had mostly ignored, that he almost didn't want to move on.

Almost. Jani could of course redirect him, but eventually Sav decided it was enough and he needed to change it up before he put Jani to sleep. He had no plans to speed up yet, just to vary his focus. Scooting up a few inches, he licked and nuzzled his way up Jani's neck so they could kiss, while he placed his open palm on the centre of Jani's chest. With the fingers spread out, he could just touch each nipple, one with his pinkie and the other with his thumb. That was it, just touch. Maybe a couple of prodding little nudges. Sav slipped his tongue between Jani's lips and licked delicately along the inner surfaces, and slowly, same molasses-in-January pace as before, drew his palm down the middle of his torso.

* * *

Time came to a standstill. Jani didn't mind: if not for Sav's needs, he wouldn't mind spending an eternity being pleasured like this. Okay, in reality, his arousal would either spike or fade eventually. And since this was reality...

His arousal didn't fade. Sav moved his mouth to Jani's lips and initiated a gentle kiss. Jani smiled and kissed back, equally gently, almost lazily, continuing to feel warm and loved. The sensation changed to _hot_ and loved when Sav deepened the kiss by sliding his tongue into Jani's mouth and at the same time touching his nipples. Although the kiss remained gentle and the touch was barely perceptible, Jani was so highly sensitised that he moaned loudly as his dick seemed to swell to twice its size.

How it was even possible to be so... so close?! His eyes widened when he realised that he was rapidly approaching his climax.

"S-sav?"

* * *

Again, Jani's response was somewhere between languid and passionate. His moans filled Sav's mouth as they kissed. Jani broke it and uttered his name, eyes suddenly wide. "Yeah, Jani? What is it?" Sav asked, gazing down into the turbulent blue depths.

* * *

"I'm... This... You... You're not even touching me," Jani moaned when Sav pulled back a little. He swallowed and nodded toward his lower body with burning eyes, "and yet... I'm..." Not sure what he wanted to say, he gasped again, when Sav flicked his fingertip against one of his nipples. "Nnnhh! So... good... I..."

He swallowed again. "Could you... Please... Nipples. I wonder... Make me come without touching?" Jani's brain was seriously not working.

* * *

Expecting that Jani would ask him to find a way to slow him down, to hold off his inevitable explosion, Sav swallowed his surprise when he heard the opposite. Only... he'd wondered on several occasions if it was possible to get Jani off by playing with his nipples. His fantasies said it was. And Jani, it seemed, wanted to find out, too. No touching meant Sav couldn't lay on top of Jani for them to rut against each other, either. He'd better make it good. "I'll try... wanna see you do it!" Well, chances were if he succeeded, he'd get shot in the hair, side of his face, something like that. Didn't matter. He'd feel the hot cream, and hear Jani's screams. Sav wondered if some variation of that line could ever make it into a Def Leppard song.

Shutting off his internal monologue, he slithered downwards once again. He didn't wait, but sucked one of Jani's erect, diamond-hard little peaks between his lips and drew on it hard. The other, he pinched between his thumb and first two fingers. Then, simultaneously, he pinched harder, released, and bit the other.

The body beneath him jerked hard as if trying to escape, and Sav held him down but paused long enough to ask, "Too much?" He hadn't drawn blood. Just in case the answer was yes, he went back to lapping around the puffy areola, rolling the other stiff nub between his fingertips.

How could Jani stand not being touched? It was fun to experiment, sure, and Jani was insanely sensitive. Sav, however, always needed attention either to his junk or his butt to come off. He supposed that was his problem. Raising his eyes, he took in the gleaming fresh sweat, the tremors running down his lover's limbs, the way he was canting his hips into empty air. Yeah, this was a male alright: Jani's body, if not his mind right now, wanted to fuck something. By supreme effort, Sav kept all parts of himself... to himself, other than one hand and his mouth. Pinch, bite, suck... he did it once more.

* * *

So close, he was so fucking close! Jani was writhing and thrashing under Sav's hands and mouth. The sensations spreading from his chest were incredible and... too much and not enough at the same time. His hips thrust in vain, not finding the friction he so desperately needed. Not wanted necessarily – although... No, he wanted the friction and at the same time he didn't want it.

How was it even possible to be so close to coming without having one's dick touched? Jani was sure that he'd explode if as much as a mote of dust settled on his erection. Which didn't happen, of course. By now his need to release was so urgent that he couldn't wait any longer, but he also found himself conflicted, not sure what to do, how Sav would react if he changed his mind...

* * *

"C'mon, Jani..." Sav whispered between licks. "You need to come...!" Jani's lower body was twisting, humping, his head tossed back and forth and he pushed up against where Sav's body leaned midway across him. God, he was stunning, so sexy like that; Sav wished he could tell him but he knew it would likely kill the mood.

Turning his head, he took a deep breath and blew a stream of air down Jani's midsection. He could see it ruffle the dark hairs at the base of Jani's dick so it had to have been felt against the fluid drizzling from the slit. He bit the tortured-looking nipple by his face, then inspired by a noise of pained pleasure as he gave in to his body's demand for friction and shoved his erection against Jani's thigh, and rolled his hips in a similar rhythm to whatever his hand was using to roll and pinch. If Jani couldn't do it without a hand, maybe his mind would trigger his release if he thought Sav needed it even worse.

Letting his growl go into its lowest range, Sav groaned, "Feel what you do to me? I'm gonna blow my load the second you do... please...! I need... need it so bad!" Like he'd done that first night in Milan, he use his fingernail to flick the nipple he'd been pinching, not just once... he wasn't going to stop till Jani made him or came.

* * *

Sav pressed his groin against him and announced that he wasn't far behind. Jani didn't doubt that they'd both fall over the edge very soon. "Yes, yes," he gasped, "I need to... nnhhh!" Sav blew air down his body and although Jani could barely feel the hint of a breeze that reached his dick, the swollen organ surged on its own accord and released a trickle of fluid.

Then Sav flicked his nipple with a fingernail and – this was it, the final straw! "P-please! A-again! G-gonna... g-gonna..." How could he let Sav know that both the fingernail against his nipple and the rush of air appeared to be the combined stimulation that would finish him off if he could barely speak?

* * *

'Again'? But which thing or combination of actions again? Sav could try to guess, but with Jani being so on edge, so close but seemingly unable to let go so far, Sav didn't want to tip into territory where he _couldn't_.

"Jani, please tell me... what do you need? I swear, whatever it is, I'll do it, luv."

* * *

It was getting to be too much. Sometimes, when foreplay was very intense, Jani would soften due to overstimulation. It had happened before and it was happening now. He wasn't frustrated as along with his erection he was also losing the desire to come, and he knew from the past that after a short break he'd be fit for fight again. Only, how would Sav react?

On the other hand, Sav was so aroused, so close, needing it so bad, that Jani pressed his thigh against Sav's erection, encouraging to hump him. Sav had somehow given him the impression that he liked Jani's thighs and Jani hoped that his lover would pursue his own climax rather than break everything off for Jani's sake.

Well, one positive side aspect of his current reaction was that he could speak again. "Let go," Jani whispered. "I... later. Want you to come first." There'd be time for explanations afterward.

* * *

Just when Jani should have come so hard he passed out, he... didn't. In disbelief, Sav watched his erection deflate. Not entirely, but if Jani had been with a woman, he wouldn't be capable. For a split second, Sav wanted to get up and walk away, because what man didn't want to flee the scene when his bedroom skills were called into question?

Now they knew: Could Jani get off from nipple stimulation alone? No. Perhaps he should count it as a blessing to find out now, rather than let the anticipation build up months or years to an end result of... this. Even now, Jani asked him to go 'first'. What did that mean? That Jani felt he'd recover? The only pique Sav felt, other than at himself, was that again they wouldn't go off together, or rather, wouldn't try since achieving simultaneous orgasm defied the odds even when it was the intent.

All this went through his mind in the blink of an eye. Jani had asked him to go first, and frankly, not doing so when he was this close himself would make for a very grumpy Sav. Trying to stuff himself into clothes, when his balls were this leaden and both swollen and pulled up tight sounded vaguely masochistic. After possibly too long, Sav made a noise of agreement. Or maybe, acquiescence. Without going any nearer Jani's crotch than before, he levered himself to his knees, then wedged one of them between Jani's thighs so he was straddling it. "Watch me," was all he said.

Sav spat into his hand, more habit than necessity, and gripped himself. It was going to have to be fast and dirty or it wouldn't happen at all. The act of wrapping his fingers around his dick made him hiss, and there was no going back. Immediately, he was stroking it, hand sliding up and down over the overheated skin. "Unnnnngh!" he moaned, loud, sitting on his heels for better stability and thrusting into his fist. Here, this was familiar territory, ground broken more than three decades before that had never failed.

The expression 'beating off' came to mind. Sav set a punishing pace. He needed it, and he needed to come. It was rising in him a little, but just like Jani's nipple experiment, it wasn't enough. What the fuck? Had he just hit middle age for real? His erection didn't go down, if anything it was worse of a raging animal now that he was touching himself. Hell, even if he stopped jerking his dick, his hips would keep the rhythm going. Rolling his stones wouldn't help; they wouldn't shift unless he seriously yanked them down.

That pool of slick Jani had leaked was calling his name. He'd need some kind of lube and spit wasn't the best. Sav scooped some of it up with his left hand, daring Jani to stop him with burning eyes. Still stroking, his meat, Sav reached behind and... "Oh god oh god oh gaaawwd...!!!" He arched his back for better access, fuck being nice with himself, he worked in his index finger, started on stretching himself to allow the middle finger immediately. Now he was truly using Jani's thigh for support, he could feel the hairs tickling his perineum, and he did hump it, probably not the way Jani had in mind before when he'd moved his leg against Sav's cock a few minutes ago, but, in the state Sav was in now, much more effective.

All the sounds that got out were deep and choked, strangled. Luckily for him, his sweet spot wasn't unreachable with fingers, and fuck! Right there! He couldn't be bothered to add more digits, now that he'd found it. Leverage, that was a bit of a problem, but Sav compensated by speeding up again, coordinating his two hands' rhythms into one. Hitching, sweat running off him, he stroked himself higher, faster, nearing the edge of the endless cliff. "Oh fucking hell Jani... I'm gonna fucking come, gonna...!" This time, he wasn't trying to work his partner up to it, only himself, and Sav was so close he'd swear every part of his body could taste it and smell it, and that his balls had crawled back up into his body they were so tight.

Finally he got there! The beginning of the end, those tendrils of sparkling light crept into his veins, centring on his groin, thighs, and arse. Pressing the little gland inside harder, he blurted wordlessly as everything rushed. Exploded! Sav wailed as his balls and prostate contracted violently and forced his seed out in spurt after spurt. It was almost an afterthought to get it on Jani, hell, he'd almost forgot he was there for a few seconds.

"Yesssss... Yessss...." That and tortured moans continued to fall from his lips. His inside-outside stroking slowed, but he wasn't done, oh no. It had been so long since anyone, including himself, had milked it out of him... Sav decreased speed but not pressure inside. Suddenly, he couldn't hold himself upright any longer. He had to let go of his dick or have no way to catch himself. Falling forward onto one elbow, still careful not to touch Jani below the belt, he worked his spot till one last viscous, gluey trickle more or less fell from him.

Sav shuddered hard, all of his limbs now jelly. He couldn't move aside, but wouldn't let himself fall. His shoulder screamed at him to fucking stop but he couldn't get enough, despite not having one drop left to give.

* * *

'Watch me,' Sav said, and Jani watched. What he got to see wasn't what he'd expected. While he himself needed a minute to recover, Sav, who'd just told him how bad he needed it, shouldn't be made to wait. Since Sav was rubbing up against his thigh, Jani had assumed that he'd continue just that, but he didn't.

Fair enough, Jani thought, maybe Sav was, unlike Jani, one of those guys who couldn't get off by simply humping something. Smiling to himself, he was about to offer his hands, mouth, or arse if Sav himself didn't ask for either when Sav took himself in hand and started pumping his dick, moaning and obviously getting off on it, but he appeared absent somehow, as if it wouldn't have mattered if Jani hadn't been there.

It was probably only in his head, Jani told himself. This thought was confirmed a moment later, when Sav swiped two fingers through the copious amount of fluid Jani's dick had drooled, then... Although Jani couldn't really see it, it was clear hat Sav was fucking himself on his fingers.

Jani's breathing hitched. With Sav so gone in his ecstasy, Jani was glad that the blond wasn't paying him too close attention, but he felt rejected. Okay, Sav had a point in not asking Jani to finger him because Jani wouldn't have known what to do, but he'd still have liked to try. Just as he'd had no clue about giving blowjobs, yet he'd braved it and Sav hadn't exactly complained. Or had Sav only praised him because he was afraid that Jani couldn't deal with being criticised?

It didn't matter. It was clear that Sav didn't trust him with his body. Or was Sav disappointed by Jani's lack of response, by him losing his erection? It was very close to what had been the beginning of the end of his relationships with Anni and Miia...

Jani was pulled from his thoughts when Sav cursed, called out his name, and announced that he was going to come. Come he did, and a part of Jani smiled and enjoyed, but another part of him continued to think; he felt as if he were strangely split into two persons, one participating, the other observing only and detached.

It was as if Sav coming had nothing to do with Jani being there. A minute ago, he'd thought he only needed to relax a little and then his dick would spring to life. Now he suddenly wondered if he ever wanted to have sex again. Maybe this was just a dream from which he'd wake to face a frustrated girlfriend...

Sav finished, but he didn't seem to know what to do, whether to lay down on top of Jani so Jani could hold him, or stretch out next to him, where Jani could hold him, too. It was okay, Jani could deal with it. At least, that was something he was familiar with, the emptiness one felt after getting off – if that was what Sav felt, at least he looked like it. Jani felt just as empty without getting off. He almost laughed at realising that they had something in common, after all.

"Don't worry, you're not crushing me," Jani said when the shaking of Sav's body increased from holding himself up, with an injured shoulder, too. "Come on, lay down. I'm good with it."

* * *

Not even knowing what to say, Sav was glad that Jani spoke first. Still, 'lay down' could mean on him, or not on him. He settled for sort of halfways on, half to the side, his arm resting across Jani's middle and holding loosely. He kept his face tucked into Jani's neck. There'd been to appreciative noises, no praise, no anything, over what he'd just done, meaning something was seriously off, and he wanted to nothing more than to escape to the bathroom for a while, but that wasn't going to help matters. Whatever was wrong, he owed it to them to figure it out.

Jani said nothing further. It was like he was a complete stranger. Once he'd got his breathing under control, and the tremors died down, Sav wondered aloud. "And now... do you still want to...? I can try the same thing, or different, but I can't fuck you now." Shit, that was blunt. "Not for a while, I mean." Then he blurted, "Tell me what I did wrong!"

* * *

Sav laid next to and half on him, heavy and relaxed after his powerful release. Jani immediately wrapped an arm around him. "You didn't do anything wrong," he replied. Apparently, Sav blamed himself for Jani losing his erection. "It's, this happens sometimes when I'm hard for a very long time or, well, _very_ hard for some time. It's okay, I've experienced it a couple of times with, well, women before, and..." He grimaced. "They were very worried about my mental state and assured me that it's perfectly normal for guys. Well, I wouldn't know abut other guys, of course."

Vittu, why was he talking so much and so fast? "Anyway, since it's potentially dangerous to have an erection for too long, like, when some idiots takes drugs or blow cocaine down the tubing and end up having their dick removed if it doesn't go down... best not think about it," Jani's hand moved to his groin in a protective reflex, "but maybe it's a mechanism invented by Mother Nature to avoid that by releasing the blood after a while." He shuddered.

"Long story short, I'm usually up for more after a little while, but I'm afraid my own stupidity in bringing up penis amputation has kind of ruined my mood right now. And yours probably, too, although that was... awesome. Still, I'm sorry for starting on the topic."

* * *

It seemed Sav's fears that Jani was pissed off were exaggerated. The young man expounded about why he possibly had lost his erection. Of course Sav had heard of priapism, probably every male past puberty had heard of it as a scare tactic; seemed Jani had even more in depth information. From his sister the medical assistant? Some of it was cringe-worthy enough that Jani moved to cover himself with his hand, and Sav had to wince, too. He'd rather not live than... 'best not to think about that', was right!

"Ah, well. Mother Nature, right? As you said, she probably has a point, with that." Sav hesitated, still not sure what to say. It sometimes seemed like every time he opened his mouth, he fucked things up. At least Jani had called it, some or all of what had led up to... whatever... awesome. "I... I really did want it, all of it, to be awesome for you," he said, feeling lame and tongue-tied. "What I did to you, and, and then, to meself. Blokes like to watch, yeah?" Damn, did he sound defensive, or contrite, or what? Sav didn't care for either, on himself. He was supposed to be an adult, for Pete's sake! He should be reassuring Jani, not the reverse. "I'm sure we'll both recover in the usual amount of time."

Speaking of time, they probably should get moving. Already. They'd have to push playing music back till after the doctor appointment. Though he still wasn't as calm as he could be, Sav didn't want to get up yet. Maybe just... holding Jani for a while would settle things.

* * *

"Yeah, Mother Nature, always looking out for us," Jani repeated dryly. "She could have given me another minute this time, though. I was almost there. When you were blowing air to..." He shuddered, this time with remembered delight not dread, but he remained limp nevertheless.

Jani hesitated and bit his lip. "I think... I'd like to try that again one day. You... my nipples... I tried to tell you to do that again, blow on my dick, but, well." He blushed. "You had me... bereft of speaking – is that how one would say it in English? That's, um, a compliment. Nobody has ever got me so far without touching my dick." He smiled. "Thank you. As for now... Maybe we should return to our former plan, like, kitchen clean-up and shower. Once you're rested, of course. I take it that we have a little time before we have to leave for my appointment?" Jani raised his eyebrows in question.

* * *

It had been a long time since Sav had been in such a state, probably because his natural proclivity was to babble rather than fall silent in bed. And there was another possible synonym. Jani's wording wasn't wrong, maybe a bit unusual. "That'll work. Or you could also say that you were rendered speechless. Or just, speechless. Or, struck dumb – dumb as in mute, not stupid. Let's see... incoherent, tongue-tied. You fell silent... Lots of ways to say it. Even a native English speaker might have a difficult time choosing which to use."

Sav paused. "Don't take this the wrong way. If that were going to happen, that you went limp rather than come when you were so close, I, um, I'm glad it's happened to you before, but only because you didn't freak out about it," he hurried to finish the thought, glanced down Jani's body and back up. "If you decide you want to try again sometime, though... consider me educated on that topic."

Checking his watch, Sav groaned. "Can you believe it? It's 11:35 already? Later than I thought. I'm getting in the shower. Leave the dishes for later... I imagine you'll need to shower, too. I can drive you to the appointment, if necessary." He carefully extracted himself from his position and sat up, biting back another groan. Hot water, the sooner the better.

* * *

Sav provided examples for expressing becoming speechless, which Jani committed to memory – at least, that was his intention – for further reference. "Thanks, I'll try to remember those. You're aware that you've just more or less offered yourself to correct me if I ever write lyrics again, right?" He grinned.

Relieved that Sav agreed to Jani's hint that he wouldn't mind trying getting off from nipple play only but didn't further pursue the topic, Jani was also surprised that it was so late already. "OK, cleaning later is probably a good idea, and, yes, I need a shower, too. Not that I don't like, um, wearing you," he nodded toward the puddle on his belly, "or us, that is, but for going out I prefer being clean, too."

Earlier, they'd more or less agreed not to shower together, so Jani suggested, "If you go first, I could make more coffee while you shower. I was a coffee-addict already before I knew how delicious your machine makes it, so now I really can't get enough of the stuff." He laughed. "You know what? Since I need to find a new place to live in Finland, I think I'll buy one of these machines. I'll still miss you like crazy, but at least I'll have good coffee."

Jani lowered his voice. "And it'll remind me of you and our time together."

* * *

"Alright, I need more caffeine, too." Sav didn't expect Jani to join him. They could do with a few minutes to themselves. "I'll try to be some version of quick, not like the full pre-concert work-up," he snorted. Sometimes that took hours, but not just because of him. Their two stylists had their hands full with five aging rock stars. Sav couldn't imagine the amount of pancake make-up they were going to go through in ten years. And all that fussing with hair. "You should see it, it's a total circus. God forbid anyone forgets their lucky underwear or that Phil needs to get oiled up three minutes before showtime. I swear, he's gonna short out his wireless one of these days."

Enough procrastinating. Sav got to his feet. Though the bathroom was calling him, he waited for Jani to get up, too. "If you could take those dishes downstairs with you, I can work on them while you're in the shower. I'll throw the laundry, sheets and towels and stuff, down the chute – it ends in the cellar laundry room. The door to it is just outside my bedroom door in the hallway. If you want anything washed, toss it in." He turned and started to strip the sheet off the bed.

* * *

Sav didn't react to Jani voicing his thought about moving houses in Finland and buying a coffee-maker like the one Sav had. It was probably just as well as in hindsight Jani was a little embarrassed about saying such a mushy thing. "Well, I don't think any of us in Sonata has ever mentioned lucky underwear, but I'm sure we all have our secret – or in my case not-so-secret – rituals prior to hitting the stage," he replied. "So what's your secret? You needn't tell me, of course, I'm just wondering." He smiled.

"As for laundry, as long as I can continue borrowing your underwear and these jeans I'm good." Jani helped Sav with the bedlinen, then took a pillowcase and looked at Sav. "I should probably wipe our juices off before I take the tray downstairs. Is it okay if I use this?" he pointed at the pillowcase.

* * *

"Yep, go ahead, before it gets all dry and crusty," Sav nodded, with a little smile. It would be kind of yucky to walk around covered in semen, even for a few minutes. "You can borrow most any of my clothes that you like. I like seeing you in them." It was sheer luck he'd fallen for someone close to his same size. "Ugh, I don't wanna cut this short, but besides the laundry here, I need to take some things to the cleaners today or they'll never be ready before the next leg. Maybe you know... sweaty leathers are disgusting."

Jani's question about his 'ritual', made him grin wider. "When I was younger, it seemed like I'd spend hours ratting my hair. I dunno if that counted, it took my mind off the gig, I suppose. We didn't get wasted before a show, but we'd do shots. Now... Rick has this thing with incense and chanting but that's all, really. Shower, dress, wait around for the stylists to work me over. Stay out of the way, I guess. I usually wear one glove with the fingers cut off on my pick hand, so I don't get blisters from the strings and bridge. That's not really it, either." Sav shrugged. "Warm up a bit. Then I talk to my tech and let him do his thing with handing me whatever bass goes with the first number. That's about all. Be right back."

Gathering up the sheet, the rest of the pillow cases, and then, gingerly, the one Jani had just used, Sav ducked into the hall. Their clothes from the previous afternoon were still strewn all over. He grabbed them too, minus the jeans Jani had been wearing as he wasn't sure if he wanted to wear them again today from the earlier exchange, and tossed the lot down the laundry chute. Then he collected the washcloths from their carpet cleaning adventure, too, and they followed the other stuff.

"Okay..." Sav returned to the bedroom. "Time to hit the shower. See you in a few minutes."

* * *


	2. Shopping

* * *

Since they needed to get a move on, Sav took his shaving cream and razor into the shower with him. Under the spray, he washed his hair first, rinsed it, put in conditioner, then attended to his body. It felt really good to get clean: all the way clean, not just using a washcloth. Retrospectively, he felt kind of stupid for not offering Jani the means to wash before going downstairs. Maybe he considered it not wasting energy, but Sav felt sheepish thinking of how his lover had 'had' to make do with the pillow case. By now, Jani should know to help himself to anything he needed or wanted in the house; Sav had told him the same. He'd done so with coffee, even in cooking breakfast this morning, hadn't he? Maybe he'd just grabbed the first available solution. Whatever, Sav decided to repeat the 'run of the house' offer when it came up again.

He shaved his face. It was more difficult without a mirror, so whether he'd actually saved time was debatable. Then, glancing speculatively downward, he decided not to engage in any manscaping without raising the topic with Jani first. Who knew what the standard was in the Finnish metal scene. If Sav reappeared shaved to within an inch of his life he might get laughed out of his own bed, for all he knew. Besides, if he planned on having his chest waxed, there'd have to be long enough hair to yank out. He set the razor down, rinsed the conditioner out of his hair, and exited the shower stall.

Drying off cursorily, first hair then body, he wrapped the towel around his waist and brushed his teeth. He had a bunch of skin care gunk that he'd been – of course – ignoring, so he quickly rubbed on some moisturiser while hoping Jani didn't walk in on that. One of the main reasons, age aside, the tour stylists had pressed it on him was they insisted smoking aged the skin faster than normal. Now that he'd all but quit, that should help, but no one and nothing could stop time. Speaking of smoking, he suddenly craved a cigarette. They'd bought nicotine patches, and then forgot to put them on. Distractions, he supposed, grinning a bit over that 'scene' on his staircase.

Alright, enough dallying. He needed to dress and gather up his tour clothes that needed dry cleaning. And start washing the other laundry. And then dishes awaited, if there was time. Sav walked into the bedroom, heading for the closet.

* * *

Jani took the breakfast tray downstairs. Although Sav had told him to just leave the washing up for later, he knew he'd feel guilty if he followed the suggestion: At home – or rather at the place that had been home until two and a half months ago – he used to have the arrangement with Anni that since he couldn't cook, he was the one in charge of doing the dishes and general kitchen clean-up. Back then, when they'd still been together, they'd often fought when Jani decided to wash up later, then got drunk and didn't do it. He didn't think Sav would be mad at him if he left the dishes be; it had been Sav's suggestion, after all. However, there were some undercurrents in the mood since he'd arrived in Sheffield that he didn't understand and he needed to make this work!

Therefore, washing up it was. Of course, Jani's thoughts immediately honed in on the latest... event... only minutes ago in Sav's bedroom. When Sav had started stroking himself off without apparently even considering that Jani might want to be involved in this _somehow,_ Jani had felt hurt. Now, in hindsight, he chided himself for his reaction. They'd made out for ages and Sav, with the patience of an angel, had been doing incredible things to get Jani off. Jani should be glad that he had such a wonderful partner. Instead, he'd felt insulted. It was wrong. He really owed Sav. Hopefully, the bassist had missed Jani's childish reaction in his post-orgasmic haze. If Jani could discern any indication in Sav's behaviour when he ended his shower that would suggest that he'd noticed something amiss, Jani would apologise, of course. But maybe he was lucky and they wouldn't have to talk.

He focused on the dishes again. Sav wasn't the only partner or friend he owed. He should really do something nice for Anni as well. She'd helped him so much recently although they weren't a couple any longer. Maybe he could bring her something from here... Or not, Jani reminded himself that his first shopping attempt in Sheffield had come to an abrupt end when they'd run into the women Sav called the 'crazy chicks.' Then maybe something from London. Heathrow was huge and had to have a big shopping arcade, and Jani was assuming that Sav would drive him there, and they'd leave early enough to ensure he didn't miss his flight...

Jani froze. Sonata's gig at the Rock to the River festival was on Sunday, but they'd travel there on Saturday – and it was Thursday already! Could it be true? He counted the days since Ankkarock: Saturday they'd played, then he'd spent the evening and night with Sav. Sunday, they'd attempted to travel to the UK, which had led to Jani ending up in overnight lock-up. Monday, return to Kemi, Tuesday, travel to Sheffield via Sweden, one day here... Yes, it was indeed Thursday, which meant that they had only one day left, and then they'd probably have to leave for London early in the morning. Thank goodness, he'd left his instruments with the band, so he didn't have to return to Kemi to pick them up, but still...

He grimaced. Three hours at least for the drive, three hours flight time to Vantaa, in the worst case an estimated hour to Helsinki, three hours from Helsinki to Imatra. Two hours for the time zone difference. Not counting potential delays and that neither flights nor trains ran on an hourly basis, he'd need to leave at the very least, even in the ideal case under the best of circumstances, twelve hours before he was supposed to arrive in Imatra. Fifteen to twenty was probably more realistic.

Vittu! It couldn't be done. If he didn't turn up by early evening, Tony would kill him. He was on probation and if anything, _anything_ went wrong, he'd be fired. Not replaced for the duration of his civil service, but fired. Kicked out once and for all. Terminated.

* * *

Once dressed in jeans and some throwaway faded blue tee with the sleeves cut off, since Jani hadn't reappeared, Sav proceeded downstairs to investigate, taking his half-drunk coffee along. It was cool now, and he finished it somewhere between the bottom of the stairs and the archway. He found Jani naked in the kitchen, washing dishes. Naturally. Sav had said leave them so here he was. Was the kid OCD about cleaning up? Sav had to wonder.

Well, he wasn't going to ruin their time by talking about it. Rather, he set the empty cup in his hand by the few remaining dirty dishes and said, "Hey, Jani. Aren't you cold?" He grinned and leered to show he was being facetious. "I'm going to dash downstairs for a minute and start a load of laundry."

The stairs creaked under his weight and Sav made a mental note to have them reinforced. He rarely went down here. Yeah, it was a cellar but it could use more light. A project for some other time. He rummaged through the items in the basket at the bottom of the chute and made sure all of Jani's things went into the washing machine first. Then the sheet and pillowcases. The machine wasn't industrial-sized by any means, and that almost filled it. He'd wash the towels and washcloths separately. Once he'd set it for the correct temperature and cycles, he threw in detergent and started it.

Back upstairs, Sav saw that Jani had almost finished his self-appointed job. He grabbed a dish towel and tossed it over his shoulder, then said to Jani, "Why don't you go have your shower now? I can take over with this."

* * *

Sav came down the stairs, carrying a laundry basket, but before Jani could bring up that he was going to have to leave the following day, Sav announced that he was going to start the laundry. He was gone before Jani had made up his mind on how to broach the topic of his departure. When Sav returned, Jani felt uncomfortable for being naked, which didn't help, of course. However, when Sav suggested that he have his shower now, Jani shook his head.

"In a moment," he said softly. "And no need to take over. It's all cleaned up. But maybe you could put everything where it belongs as I'm not so sure about that. I mean I grabbed things from the cupboards, but I can't remember all the places I took them from..."

Realising that he was procrastinating, Jani folded the tea towel he still had in his hands and laid it on the kitchen counter. Sav would probably want to launder it... and here his thoughts were distracting him again.

Jani took a deep breath. "I'd completely lost track of the time," he said. "Today's Thursday. I need to be in Imatra, that's in the Southeast of Finland, by Saturday. I'll check flights and trains and all once I've showered, but it's possible that I may have to leave tomorrow already," he said softly.

* * *

Jani's announcement stopped Sav dead. "Oh... shite. Tomorrow? Really?" How had the days slipped by them so fast? "I was barely keeping track of the days. I mean, I know it's Thursday but..." Well, that was a wake-up call, to stop being petty and think about what mattered!

If he didn't watch it, he'd get choked up over the prospect of Jani leaving. Sav cleared his throat. "I'd go with you but I have the same problem – I'd never make it back here in time to get on the flight to Denver when I'm supposed to. Not without my stuff, driving back and forth to Heathrow and all that. Well, this is, as they say, where the rubber meets the road. Where it gets real." He shook himself.

Belatedly, Sav replied, gesturing to the clean dishes and pans, "I'll finish, I'll put this away. We still have Chinese in the fridge. I wanted to cook for you again but we might not have time... guess we'll know more after you look up flights."

He noticed the bags of things they'd bought the day before, still sitting at the other end of the countertop. Checking them, he slid Jani's purchases in his direction, and pulled out his own nicotine patch. "I'm really craving one right now. Where's the best place to stick this?" Then, he made a shooing motion. "Go, shower, your jeans from yesterday are still in the hallway or pick anything of mine, if you'd rather."

* * *

"Yeah," Jani said. He'd go shower and then look up flights. He wanted to say so much more but where would he even begin? Walking up the stairs, he promised himself that he'd shower before checking flights, even though each and every single brain cell screamed at him to make it possible to stay another day. The expression on Sav's face had made it more than clear that Jani wasn't the only one who wished that leaving on Saturday was an option.

Once he entered the bathroom, Jani was struck by another thunderbolt: They night before they'd fallen asleep so early that he hadn't thought of his medication. In the morning, he'd been so preoccupied with making breakfast for Sav, then the sex later, that he'd forgotten about his pills – even though they'd discussed his doctor's appointment! How was this even possible?

Cursing himself, he swallowed two pills – which was probably wrong, too; didn't the instructions say that if one forgot one, just continue and not take the missed dose, too? He should probably ask the doctor, but he felt so stupid that he wasn't sure if he'd actually have enough courage for that...

Shower. Jani washed his hair, then applied conditioner and washed his body. After drying off, he shaved and cleaned his teeth. Sav had allowed him to help himself to his clothes, so Jani picked underwear, socks, and a tee-shirt, and picked up the jeans he'd already worn the previous day. He tied his hair back after brushing it perfunctorily, then he picked up his laptop and returned downstairs.

Remembering what Sav had said earlier, Jani took another deep breath and hoped that neither his face nor his voice would betray his disappointment when he asked, "Since you said you can't come with me, would you recommend travelling to London by train or bus?"

* * *

Jani left to go upstairs, the look on his face one like he wanted to discuss it further, but they were starting to run short on time so he didn't. Meanwhile, Sav put away the dishes and swept the floor. Then suddenly, his phone started ringing and he took three separate calls. In this regard, too, it seemed like his break was over. He now had two interviews on the day before the international flight, and he could expect an updated tour schedule by email. They'd be living in the bus more than usual, it seemed. That did not make Sav happy at all. Less time to himself, less time for phone sex.

When Jani returned, he had his laptop in hand, hair back in a ponytail and wearing Sav's clothes again, which as always, gave him a warm glow. Opening the laptop, Jani began to look up timetables. It was immediately evident that he had misunderstood what Sav had referred to when he'd said, 'go with'.

"Oh! Sorry, that's not what I meant... I will take you to Heathrow, unless you'd rather I don't. I was saying that if I could, I'd go to Finland with you to catch your show... but I can't. I don't have enough time. But," Sav had been thinking, and would have already started on it if not for the calls from his manager, PR, etcetera, "what I can do is phone around and see if there are any private flights or charters available, maybe even out of the small local airport here in Doncaster, next to Sheffield, and there's another airport nearby in Leeds. It's three hours Heathrow to Helsinki so it'd be about the same from here to southeast Finland, right? If I find someone who'll do it, you could fly on Saturday, at a decent hour, even. Does Imatra have an airport?" Sav cut himself off, aware he was taking over. No doubt Jani would fight him on it. About special treatment, about the amount of money, whatever. The question was, did he want an extra day or not? Plus, there was no guarantee that Sav could find a service on such short notice, regardless of who he was or how much it cost.

* * *

Jani was so busy typing on VR's page that what Sav had just told him registered late. However, when he heard that he'd misunderstood he jumped up and hugged him impulsively. "Hemmetti, I thought you'd said you can't come to London with me. I mean, what with preparing for your tour and all it made sense that you wouldn't have time, and I wasn't blaming you for it. Still disappointed," he had to admit, "to have three hours less to be with you." Noticing that he was clinging to Sav maybe a little too tightly, he let go a bit.

"I never thought you meant coming to Finland. I wish you could, though, and I wish I could come with you, at least see a couple of your shows in the US." He suddenly had an idea. It was insanity, yet... Not now, he told himself. Then his eyebrows went up when Sav suggested finding him a private flight, and the idea he'd had a second ago didn't seem so insane after all. Still...

"As far as I know you can't fly to Imatra. There's an airport at Lappeenranta, but the best way to get there is probably by train from Helsinki. I've just checked, I'd have to be at Helsinki airport by one in the afternoon, that's eleven in the morning your time, to be in Imatra by five or six. Any later and Tony..." Jani shook his head. It wouldn't work. "Commercial flights don't leave that early from Heathrow. And... Sav... I appreciate the offer. You have no idea how much it moves me, but... If I screw this up, I'm out of Sonata forever. I don't know what to do..."

* * *

Jani flew into Sav's arms. Pleased, Sav squeezed him back, but let him go when he pulled away. Jani was clearly concerned about being on time for his gig. He would have to make arrangements soon, or risk every option being closed. "Okay, let's do this: you keep looking up flights and trains, like you would have anyway. I'm going down to my office to look up numbers, write stuff down, the one I showed you on the tour of the house, and and I'll make some calls." He smiled. "Bring your laptop, come along: we have a few minutes."

The airport site had some leads, as did Google. Sav called two that had no availability. The next wanted £ 50 thousand, which was out of the budget. Checking his watch again, Sav asked Jani what he'd found out, meanwhile making some notes. He'd keep phoning while Jani was at his appointment.

* * *

Sav led the way to his 'office' and Jani followed. At first, Jani thought Sav was checking availability of limousine transport to London: The day they'd attempted to fly to London together, Sav had told him that he usually booked such a service. As long as the driver's compartment was separated from the passengers, they'd have privacy, which would give them more time with each other than if Sav was driving himself. Then, however, Jani understood that Sav was serious about his offer to find him a charter flight. Apparently, they had another misunderstanding.

"Sav," Jani began shyly, "please don't take this the wrong way... When I said I appreciate the offer... to fly out on Saturday from somewhere closer to here... I meant that..." Vittu, how to explain it? Maybe 'appreciate' didn't mean what he thought? "It moves me that you were willing to do something like that for me. But I'd feel very uncomfortable accepting it. Sorry, but please... please don't."

He looked away and trained his eyes on the laptop screen. "What I could do is take a late evening flight out of Heathrow tomorrow, then get a hotel room in Helsinki. Only, if you accompany me to London in the late evening, you'd probably not want to drive back to Sheffield."

* * *

Sav tried to slow his thoughts. He knew he'd get push-back. 'Don't' meant 'no'. As in, No, don't spend your money that way. Still, he'd try one more time. "Please reconsider. I'm filthy rich by most people's standards. I told one guy who wanted 50 grand no way, but a more usual charge, that's not a huge deal to me. If I got it, I might as well spend it. I want to." He was telling the truth. He also didn't want Jani to feel pressured, other than that he should know it would not break Sav's bank. It was a fine line.

Shrugging, he added, knowing he needed to be flexible, "If you do fly out of Heathrow tomorrow night, I can get car service from the same company we always use... and the kind of car with privacy glass. As far as the late hour, if I'm not actually driving, that doesn't matter. I can sleep on the way home."

* * *

"Or," Jani's eyes were still glued to his screen, "you could still come with me. Stay in Helsinki for the night and take an early flight back. In that direction, the time zone difference works in our favour. There are morning flights out of Helsinki that could have you back in London by 8 or 9 in the morning on Saturday..."

He hurried to add, "Just an idea. I'm not really seriously suggesting it as you'd still have the trip to Sheffield before you. Sorry. And I don't doubt you can afford it," Jani returned to the earlier topic, "but I'd still feel uncomfortable."

* * *

"I don't mean to put you on the spot." Sav got up from his desk and moved around to sit on the corner of it. "Nor do I ever want you to feel like I think that money gives me some kind of right. I don't. Probably the opposite, since you're opposed. If there's a seat on whatever flight you're taking, if it's on Friday night, I'll go with you. It's worth it to me to have one more night before..." They both knew before what. "Any luck yet?"

* * *

"You'd really..." Jani couldn't help the wide grin that spread over his face. "That's... wonderful. I... dunno what to say..." He moistened his lip.

"I don't know if I can explain this well, but that you'd come with me, fly to Finland and back so that we can be together for one more night... In a way this means more to me than if you paid for a private plane to get me to Imatra. I don't know how to put this into words, but... One is your time, which is very precious, especially since you're about to leave the country for a long and assumedly also stressful time. The other, and I know that this must sound arrogant, especially from one who doesn't have it, it's 'only' money."

He thought for a moment, then continued, "The thought that I'd owe you if you paid for my flight never occurred to me. Not with you. If someone else made such an offer, I'd assume that they'd want something in return, but never with you. I trust you." If Jani felt a little guilty for keeping secrets, he told himself that it was in Sav's best interest: Why burden him with things that couldn't be changed anyway?

"So let's see. The earliest flight leaves from Vantaa at 8 and arrives in London at 9:15. There's two, actually, with about the same departure and arrival times, one to Heathrow and one to Gatwick. Seats are available on both. As for getting to Helsinki, I'd thought I'd go for the latest possible connection, but if you're coming with me, I'd suggest late afternoon rather than middle of the night. What do you think?"

* * *

"You don't need to say anything... I get it." The wide, infectious smile on Jani's face said it all. Sav didn't necessarily agree with 'it's only money'. Money didn't buy happiness, and it would never buy him Jani's love or regard, but it could allow them time and comfort in each other, to a degree. However, he decided to save that logic for some other, future date.

"Yes, definitely," Sav immediately saw the sense in an afternoon departure. That was a much better option than travelling late and then having to leave again within a few hours. He never did well with lack of sleep. "Let's book it now. I'd rather return through Heathrow. It's a bit closer and I'm a lot more familiar with it. Then we should go to your appointment. Walk or drive? If I drive, we can wait a little while longer, or do more shopping if you wanted."

Jani had won that round, but Sav decided it was still a small step forward. If he could accept that Sav wanting to be with him every second possible was 'real', then the rest, hopefully, would follow, and maybe someday when they might need to employ a non-commercial transport mode or not see each other, he'd 'allow' it. "No, you don't owe me for anything, ever. I'm relieved you understand that... whatever I do is freely given."

* * *

"Okay, I've booked us a flight that leaves Heathrow at four in the afternoon. We'll arrive at nine and I got us a room at a hotel in Vantaa. We can freshen up there, then go out for dinner or order room service. Your flight will arrive at Heathrow at 9:15 and my train will arrive in Imatra roughly at the same time, at 11:20." Jani grinned. "We get to spend another night together and I won't be kicked out of Sonata." There was even an error margin: if for some reason they didn't make the flight to Helsinki, there were at least two later connections.

"So, about my appointment. I'm not too keen on running into these women again, so I'd say we give the shopping centre a wide berth. As for walking, I'd like that but I also remember that we were in a bit of a hurry to return here yesterday. Also, I can't hold your hand in a public place, and I want to touch you all the time. All in all, I'd suggest to go by car, if that's okay with you."

* * *

"Well that was easy!" Sav commented. Jani's fingers had flown over his keyboard; it had taken him maybe a third of the time to finish the transactions it would have, Sav. He'd correctly filled in all of Sav's statistical info like his address and date of birth. And, he'd paid for it. That, Sav would not let slide. There were cash machines in the airport in Helsinki, and he could use his credit card to draw cash to pay Jani back. "Thanks for handling the arrangements."

Good, as much as it was nice to get outside, Sav didn't want to deal with any super-fans again either. He wondered if maybe he should take steps for them to be cautioned. That wasn't really him, though, and chances were he'd never have thought of that if they hadn't approached him when he was with Jani in public.

"Yeah, that's alright that we drive. I think I prefer it, today. It would be nice be able to just to hold hands. I was never one for excessive PDAs, but I want my hands on you whenever I can, too," Sav told him, with a smile. "Like now. If that's OK. We have a few minutes." Getting off of the desk Sav approached Jani's chair.

* * *

"You're welcome," Jani said. "It's the least I can do to make sure we're together for another brief while. And as for you wanting your hands on me, the feeling is mutual in every sense. I want your hands on me and I also want my hands on you."

He got up from the chair he'd been sitting on and smiled at Sav. "Even if for now we only have time for hands. And a hug. And maybe a kiss, but better not too much or I'll be very, um, uncomfortable even in your not-so-tight jeans," he winked, then whispered, "Once I'm done at the doctor, though, I'm sure I'll be very happy that you drive a fast car."

* * *

Right, Jani hadn't got off that morning, so he'd be a lot more likely to be... needy. Sav pushed down a stab of regret that he hadn't succeeded. It wasn't off the table; they had already agreed to try it again sometime. Taking Jani in his arms, he held him tightly for a moment. Their chests pressed together, flesh and bone, hearts, breath. He loosened his hold a little, stroking Jani's back. "You have my hands... want yours, too."

* * *

Jani let himself be held. He closed his eyes and inhaled Sav's scent, felt his warmth, his heartbeat. How on earth was he going to manage without him? Well, he'd have to work on his idea...

Sav loosened his hold and Jani looked up at him, smiling. "You've got my hands," he whispered as he brought them up to Sav's face. "And my heart, regardless how cheesy that sounds." Standing on his toe tips, he kissed Sav's lips.

* * *

With Jani's hands laid upon the sides of Sav's face, they kissed, innocent and full of heat at the same time. Sav brought up one of his hands to Jani's face as well, cupping his cheekbone and, like the previous day, using his thumb to stroke the delicate skin under his eye. "When you're here, with me, you can be as cheesy as you want... my heart belongs to you and you alone." Yeah, that was really cheesy, too, and Sav blushed.

Taking Jani's lips again, he kept his eyes open, staring almost. Being right eye dominant besides right-handed, Sav focused on the details inside each – in daylight, Jani's irises were much paler. His pupils responded minutely to light and mood. That business about eyes being windows... Sav had never thought about it deeply before. However he could touch this man, he needed to, even if gazing into his lover's eyes was so much romantic, girly tripe, he craved it like nicotine or sugar or more, because it wasn't only his body that wanted it.

Because they'd have to leave soon, he resisted grabbing Jani's bum, releasing his hair from its band, slipping his tongue into Jani's mouth or a hand up his shirt or any number of things that he'd like to do. Just from kissing, he was already breathing harder.

* * *

"Sav..." Jani's voice broke. The way Sav cupped his face, stroked his cheekbone, no touch had ever struck him as this perfect before. If he'd thought that kissing Sav was more intimate than the sex they had, this was... "Sav..." he repeated, whispering. He took one of Sav's hands in his and kissed it, the back of it and the palm, avoiding the fingertips because that would suggest a blowjob, but this wasn't about sex right now.

"I think," he swallowed, "maybe we should get on our way soon. Otherwise we'll never make it to my appointment because I won't be able to let go of you."

* * *

"Jani..." Sav returned, barely above a whisper. He wanted to say that he loved Jani so much, that he meant so much. Jani kissed his hand, a gesture he didn't understand other than it was an expression of love so he stopped himself from asking and kissed Jani's lips again. How could he ever let go? But he must. Inhaling the scent of Jani's hair, he gave him another squeeze then stepped away.

"I know... we should go. I'll get my keys. We can go out the kitchen door." Sav let his breath out, glanced at Jani again, and then went to retrieve his keys from the bowl on the table in the front hall. Finding them, he proceeded to the kitchen. Of course it was only his perception, but he could almost still feel the imprint of Jani's warmth, of his body. He had better get it together if he was going to drive safely.

* * *

"Yes." Jani waited while Sav fetched his keys and they left the house. "I've never driven a Porsche," he admitted, "but I'm not asking to drive it, what with the steering wheel on the wrong side for me and all. But, well, I needn't tell you about the cliché about manly men and sports cars. From what you told me how you got the car I probably shouldn't ask this, but I'm curious. Does this car have sex appeal to you?" Jani grinned to show that he wasn't all serious.

* * *

While he couldn't say exactly why, Jani's question struck Sav funny and he burst out laughing. "It does now," he chuckled, "since you jizzed all over it!" Without a doubt, Sav would recollect that event every time he looked at it. He unlocked the garage and went in, punched the button to open the overhead door. Sure enough...

It was a humorous topic, anyway. "Since I bought it for my ex-girlfriend, I didn't really pick it. It's a nice car, it's powerful, I like it alright, but it's not very practical. Some people might look at it and say I'm over-compensating. You know... for a lack of... manliness." Sav cocked a hip and grabbed his crotch for half a second. "That's a good one, considering its history, huh?"

* * *

Jani laughed. "Well, sex in the back seat isn't really an option here, so the hood was the best I could do. Let me know if you ever feel like a repeat performance. That was hot!" He'd better start thinking of something else, though, unless he wanted to be hard until they returned home. "You don't need to over-compensate," he said. "I think you're perfect, size-wise. Not that I have any basis for comparison, but having you inside me..." Speak of thinking of something different... Jani adjusted himself.

"You suggested that we could buy more coffee flavours. Should we look what flavours are sold?" Jani was sure that his brain would find a way to relate to coffee to sex, but maybe it would need a minute to find the connection between the two...

* * *

"Yeah, it was totally hot; we were gagging for it. And thanks, you feel perfect to me, too." Sav grinned happily. He saw Jani adjust his crotch while he unlocked the car's doors with the remote. Being about a second away from having to do the same, he understood the sudden change of topic.

"Coffee... you can probably look online and find too many flavours to name. Trying to think of some I noticed on my last shopping trip. Vanilla, different kinds of chocolate, raspberry or it might be raspberry white chocolate, toffee, cinnamon... that's all I can think of offhand. The larger the market, the better the selection, usually. Since I'm driving, we don't have to stick to my neighbourhood." Checking his rearview mirror first, Sav backed up slowly. There was no traffic on his side of the road and no one walking by – thank goodness! – so he backed up onto the street. They'd have to go around the park, but driving was still much faster. Finding somewhere to park the car, that might be another matter. If it took too long he could always drop Jani off in front of the building and keep circling.

* * *

"I'm not sure if I can buy such a machine in Finland. At least I've never seen such pods in shops before, and I'm not sure if it's possible to order them only if they're from outside the country. We have something like a luxury tax that makes it impossible to import certain goods," Jani explained and smirked. "Of course, you could always hand-deliver them to me. As for now, any shop you know sounds good to me."

* * *

"Wow, that's strange. If Finns are as coffee-addicted as you've said, I'd think they'd want access to every kind of machine on the market."

That was probably a flip statement. Sav knew himself the cost, literally, of bureaucracy and taxation. And, he was living in a country where people were used to mostly getting the goods and services they wanted, since the war rationing was lifted. He'd still heard stories about that as a child from older people. "Well, we know it's not the general population that makes the rules. I'd love to hand-deliver one for you, if I can. Didn't you mention something about moving into your own place? Sorry, kinda skipped over that before."

* * *

"My ex has friends who bought such a machine when they were on holiday in Germany, but they said they can't buy the pads in Finland," Jani explained. "Instead, they use some sieve-like thing that they fill with ground coffee. I'm going to get myself one of these machines and DIY pad things for my future flat. And I'll make sure to drink as much coffee as I can while I'm visiting." He grinned.

* * *

"They make something like that for my brand of machine, too; I don't have one yet. It's probably more economical than the pods. And please, have as much coffee as you like at my place! I might not be able to keep up... need my caffeine, too, but bouncing off the walls and having to pee every twenty minutes, not so much." Sav laughed again, but kept his eyes on the road.

They were already approaching the main intersection by the shops. Sav drove past, then turned down the same street the taxi had come when they'd called for a ride the day before. "I can let you out in front the building and keep driving till I find a car park or somewhere on the street. Don't want you to be late..."

* * *

"That's probably a good idea," Jani agreed after they'd circled the block with the doctor's office twice already without finding a parking space. "I've got my phone so I'll call you when I'm done. We're still in the public, so consider this smile a kiss." He beamed, then stepped out of the car as soon as Sav stopped it. He was extra careful when he crossed the road: being run over in front of Sav's eyes from not being used to the left-hand-sided traffic would be a catastrophe. Not that being run over for any other reason and in any other place would be more pleasant, but...

Here he was again, always distracting himself from reality. It was stupid, he knew he had to go through this appointment. It was extremely unlikely that there were bad news, so why was he so nervous? When Jani entered the practice, he was called into the doctor's office immediately. As expected, his blood work didn't suggest even as much as a hint of an infection. He received a prescription and was out probably before Sav had parked the car.

Taking out his phone, Jani pressed the speed dial for Sav. "Hei, everything's fine. I'm heading to the pharmacy as we speak. Is it better for you to meet me there or pick me up on the street?"

* * *

There were no parking spots to be had. It was a Thursday, not a weekend, not a holiday. Why was it so busy? Sav continued to drive around. His mobile rang, and he answered, risking being stopped for doing so while in motion. As expected, it was Jani, done already, barely ten minutes after Sav had dropped him off. Naturally, he saw an empty space along the street then.

"Come outside when you're done and I'll pick you up. Never did find anywhere to park. If you don't see me right away, just wait and I'll be around in a minute or two." The second he rang off, the mobile rang again. It was Joe. Sav let it go to voice mail, since one, distracted driving and two, it was bound to be a lengthy conversation. They hadn't spoken in over a week, which for them was odd indeed, now that he thought of it. Other than Rick, who'd showed up unannounced the second day home, he hadn't spoken to any of his bandmates. What was up anyway, that Joe would phone instead of text? Probably some new song idea.

Sav decided that he'd deal with it later. For now, he had one hot redhead to pick up and buy coffee for. When he got near the door of the building of his GP's practice, Jani wasn't outside yet, so Sav drove on to go around his circuitous route again.

* * *

Jani hadn't really expected bad news from the doctor, but the result was good news anyway: He was bouncing when he left the building after picking up his pills. Looking around, he didn't spot Sav, but the Porsche was impossible to miss. It took him all of thirty seconds until he opened the passenger door. Again, he couldn't suppress the wide smile that always spread on his face whenever he saw Sav.

"I'm back." Okay, stating the obvious. "What's next, shopping for coffee? Also, I was thinking that I should get something for Anni. After everything I've done to her, she could make my life hell and I couldn't even blame her for it. So I was going to get her something at the airport when I had time to kill anyway, but now that we're travelling together I might as well see if I can find her some chocolates or a stupid mug or whatever."

He grinned. "I'd ask you, but advice from someone who gives his girlfriend a Porsche is probably out of my league."

* * *

As Sav was pulling around again, Jani came out of the building with a lively step and hopped into the passenger side, a wide smile on his face. It was impossible not to return it. There was a place across town where Sav shopped occasionally that had things Jani was describing all in one store. He told him where he was heading next and added, "Don't ask me what a good gift is, that's not my speciality. When I give gifts at all, they tend to be too extravagant," he admitted, "starting with this car. When I bought it for my ex, I did so under the assumption we'd be together for a long time and would share it. Lesson learned!"

Some idiot was blocking the road ahead. Sav honked, then went around, shifting impatiently. "I know we only have a day left. Less than. If there's anything you wanted to do or see around Sheffield this trip, now's probably the time. Just saying."

* * *

"Considering that we're likely to want to return home quickly once, um, hormones strike, I suggest we get the coffee first," Jani smirked. "And then, is there anything that's typical for Sheffield? As in a suitable present for Anni, I mean, or maybe for myself, too – although I already have what's best in Sheffield," he added with a cheesy grin. Tough metal guy, huh?

"As for places to see, let me think. If we have time, how about a tour of where you grew up, favourite watering holes, stuff like that, maybe."

* * *

"Hm, I don't even know what kinds of souvenirs they're selling these days, probably tee shirts, coffee and beer mugs, shot glasses, the usual. Is she gonna ask what you were doing here?" Sav asked. It seemed as though Jani liked his ex as well as one could like an ex, but he couldn't begin to suggest a gift. It seemed to him that if Jani wanted to avoid such a question, he should pick something that wasn't stamped with a city name logo. "You can keep me, I'm not up for adoption," he laughed.

If Sav took Jani around to those places, they'd have about an hour in the car, which was fine with him, but then, as Jani put it, hormones. "Well... I could drive you by the house I grew up in, but, um, I don't think I'm ready to introduce you to my mum yet. Besides, she'd hijack you the rest of the day, probably sit you down with tea and crumpets and make you look at family photo albums for hours." There might come a time when they might do that, meet the family, but not this time. He'd received the typical hints about when was he going to settle down, grandkids, all that, from his mum. If Jani was his partner, that wasn't on the menu.

* * *

Jani blushed when Sav asked if Anni knew what he was doing here and he remembered her query who Sav was after Jani had asked for him when he'd apparently been delirious with fever. Of course Anni had assumed that Sav was a woman and Jani was sure Sav would laugh about this if Jani told him – which he couldn't, because then he'd have to explain about his illness.

He hurried to reply to the question Sav had just asked. "Actually, I only texted her about the meds, so she doesn't know I'm, well, _here._ I should probably think of a cover story, not only for her but also for the band... If she found out I left the country right after the authorities forbade it, she'd be worried, so I guess I'd better settle for Finnish chocolate for her..."

Then Sav announced that he wasn't going to introduce Jani to his mother and Jani nodded, sighing. "I'm sure you were a cute child and all, but to be honest, I'm not too keen either on meeting your parents. Nothing personal, but that would just be too weird. Do they even know that you're, well, interested in guys?"

* * *

"My dad's gone, so it's just my mum. And... I don't know what she would think about... this." Sav motioned back and forth between himself and Jani. "She wouldn't disown me or something. It's not the 1950's, thank god. Honestly? The age difference might be more of a question." He huffed out a breath, glancing sideways. "It wouldn't be the first time such rumours flew around about me. The Leppard fans always diligently and emphatically shoot them down. I could probably shove my tongue down your throat in the middle of the airport and they'd find some way to explain it away: "Sav's very straight". Gotta love groupies. But, there's our fans, and then there's everyone else, and I don't want the media frenzy."

* * *

"Except for those fans who write these, um, stories, like, about me and Tony." Jani wondered briefly who these authors thought Sav had a gay relationship with before deciding that it didn't matter. He smirked when it occurred to him that at least nobody, not even the weirdest fans with their hyperactive imaginations, could envision that Sav and this Finnish guitar playing loser could be an item.

He didn't say it, though. Instead, Jani replied, "I think I'll want you to meet my mum and my sister. We both know it won't happen anytime soon, but one day..." He couldn't tell his family about the journey to England either. For now, he should focus on the present, as in here in Sheffield right now with Sav. "So, which places of your childhood and youth do you think we could visit in Sheffield?"

* * *

Sav moved on to what places he could show Jani that might have some personal meaning. "All of us in the original line-up were from Sheffield. Phil's from London, Vivian's Irish, from Belfast. We had our first gig of note in this pub called Crookes Working Men's Club, which is near Joe's parents' house. I don't even want to tell you... it was before you were born! We played some youth clubs too, but they're long gone. Could drive you by my old schools, the place where the abandoned factory we practiced in used to stand back in the day, and the stadiums the Owls and the Blades," he made a face, to indicate his non-preference of team, "call home. Just some ideas."

* * *

"A part of me would like to go to a pub," Jani admitted darkly, "but mainly because I want a drink, so we'd better not. Besides, it's early afternoon, so they're bound to be closed anyway, or what's pub life like in England? As for football stadiums, maybe it'd be more interesting to visit one if your team is playing, meaning I'll have to return." Jani smiled.

"So your current rehearsal pad isn't in Sheffield, then? Because _that_ would be a place I'd like to see very much."

* * *

How to describe it... Things had changed so much since Sav had been old enough to drink legally. "Pub life is... traditionally mostly blokes, people often drink in their local, the closest to home or work, and they're very loyal, have their own seats and everything sometimes, sit in the same chair every night for decades. People my age and younger though, we're not so set in our ways. Plenty of birds, I mean women, out. There's a few of what you'd call clubs, but if you want that sort of thing, best go to London. There's lots of pubs that open earlier that are more like restaurants, where you can get decent food, speaking of which, I'm going to want lunch soon. There's no matches for the Owls this week. If there had been, no doubt I would have dragged you to the field or been glued to the TV, yelling at the screen," he smirked. "That's one more reason for you to visit again. If you really want me to, I can meet your family... sometime. Warn them first," Sav said it lightly, but hoped that Jani would do so. Well, there was plenty of time.

That was one thing that was inconvenient about the band members being split between two continents, and even there in cities not so close together. "These days, we don't have a permanent rehearsal space. We'll often rent something close to where a tour begins, or where one of us lives. Empty warehouses, commercial storage, that sort of thing. It's kind of... necessary to not have one place, if you get my meaning. So... your band has somewhere you regularly use to rehearse?"

* * *

"We have a few places we go to regularly, too, of course. When you visit," Jani's heart skipped a beat when he noticed that he'd said 'when' rather than 'if, "I'll take you to a place called Ramona, that's a night club and bar. I'll also take you to the place I mentioned where they serve the reindeer pizza. Speaking of that, my mum makes a mean reindeer stew. About warning her, I bring home – or make that used to bring, it hasn't happened recently – friends and people I met all the time. You're very special, of course, and if there's an opportunity I'll tell her about us."

Jani swallowed. "If that won't happen next week it has nothing to do with you. She's... worried about me, I can tell, and what with the way I've messed up my life, she has reason to be. If I told her right now that I'm... Well, I'm not sure how to call it myself. I don't think I'm gay. I like having sex with you – among many other things I like with you – and you're a man, obviously, but still... In general, I still think I'm only interested in women – if you weren't around... no, that's wrong, if you didn't exist... You know what I mean."

He shook his head in frustration. "Anyway, I don't think I could explain to her what I don't even understand myself. If I tell her that I'm in... into a guy, she'd be even more worried than she already is because life for gay people in Finland probably isn't easier than in most other places of the world. I'm afraid that she'd think this on top of everything else, my drinking, my illness, my service, the trouble with the band, with Anni and all, could push me over the edge." Jani sighed.

"Sorry for talking so much. Long story short, I want to continue what I've begun, clean up my life to some degree first, then introduce her to this new significant aspect of my life." He smiled.

"About rehearsing," Jani changed the topic, "We have a regular space. It's in a church in Hepola, close to Kemi. The place, I mean the church, is quite famous, actually, because it has an upside-down cross on its top. That's not a satanist thing, although there've been some jokes around about it being fitting for a metal band to practice there, but it's called St Peter's cross for him being crucified upside-down. As for having the band in one place, it's easier to arrange things. Our keyboarder, Henkka, is from Kokkola. That's about a four hour drive and things sure got easier since he's moved to Kemi."

* * *

"That all sounds cool," Sav inserted into the run-down of where Jani would take him in his home town, at such time as he could visit. It sounded as if Jani had already thought about it quite a lot. If, no, when, he could get there... Sav decided he would make it a priority, once Jani was finished with his service obligation. By then, he'd have had time to figure out how to broach the topic of a male significant other with his mother and sister. And he'd better, if the idea of that might make Jani's mum think that having one could 'push him over the edge'. It was clear that Jani didn't think so though, and Sav returned his smile.

Then Jani moved on to the subject of his sexuality in general, which was not something Sav could unravel for him. Being attracted to one man didn't make him gay, any more than it had, Sav, who in his 'old age' was comfortable with the fact that he was historically into women but not opposed to men, if the man in question... well, they'd all been very good guitarists, hadn't they, the ones he'd been attracted to. Was that part of it, or coincidence? He couldn't say.

As for Jani, although the younger man insisted it would never happen, the truth would out, so to speak, in the coming months. Jani was convinced he could never be into any other guy; whatever happened when they were separated by circumstances would determine if that was correct or not. He had needs, ones he'd never been aware of before. Then again, maybe Sav was so jaded he couldn't make sense of something so pure and undiluted as... whatever Jani felt toward him. And yeah, he'd never indulged himself in slutty behaviour with other males, either. Except for... Sav tried and failed for a moment, to push _that_ from his mind. He couldn't help an inadvertent glance at his phone. That one slip-up, one in the sense of one short, grief-stricken stint, would never stop dogging him, would it? They were nearing Crookes and he was bombarded by memories.

Jani apologised for talking so much, but Sav was glad for it. He nodded at 'know what I mean?' and opened his mouth to ask what Jani meant about gays not having it easy in Finland, and what illness he was referring to, when Jani changed topic to their practice space. Seeing the humour in that, Sav agreed, "A lot of people might find it strange if not downright sacrilegious, metal music in a church, but who cares, right? Whoever's in charge of the place must not mind too much. In my opinion, all good music comes from somewhere... higher. What was it I heard? Don't quote me on this, I have it jumbled up: "The music screams so I don't have to", or something like that."

Then he chuckled, thinking about the sort of screaming the two of them had been doing lately. "But sometimes, a person can't help it," he leered.

* * *

"Well, Finland has a much higher density of metalheads in general and metal musicians in particular than any other country in the world," Jani grinned. "Besides, we don't celebrate orgies or black masses. Come to think of it, we're probably lame compared to other bands, say, Impaled Nazarene." He laughed at the memory of how terrified Tony and Tommy were back in 2000...

Sav raised his eyebrow – one eyebrow – and Jani elaborated, "When we returned to Finland after our first big tour with Stratovarius, Tommy and Tony decided to spend a day in Helsinki and fly to Kemi a day later than the rest of us. So our record company booked them a room. Only, someone messed up and their rooms were accidentally given to two of Impaled Nazarene. With anyone else, sharing a room would have been the obvious solution, but, according to Tony, there was, I quote, 'no way they'd go into that room because Satan was sleeping in there.' I'm not sure where they spent the night in the end, maybe the hotel lobby or some bar." He chuckled.

"Compared to those guys we were choirboys. Even me. So yes, we'd have a few drinks in that church, but we wouldn't compromise our welcome there. It's too good a place for us to rehearse and we never had any problems with the church people."

"Now," he continued, "as for screaming and not being able to help it, with what you're doing to me, there's no chance I could keep quiet. I should probably make solid walls a criterion for the flat I need to find. So," he resumed and squirmed a little in the passenger seat, "how far are we from that shop?"

* * *

"They were scared? Really?" Sav might been – rightfully – scared of some bands' bodyguards in his time, but not another musician. He barked out a laugh. "'Satan sleeping in there'... that's hilarious! I'll have to look those guys up sometime and see... whatever it is. Never heard of them before. As for drinking in church, even Jesus drank wine, right? The shop is just up there," he pointed. "I almost forgot where it was." More like, he'd almost forgot about going there at all, between the idly-made comments about screaming followed by Jani's amusing story, which no doubt he had told as a way to distract them. Sav noticed some butt-shifting going on in Jani's seat and almost asked if he was having any 'pants' problems but didn't, because it was sure to cause a problem if it wasn't pre-existing.

As he'd said, it had its own car park, and he pulled into it and found a spot, pulled the hand brake, and killed the engine. "Alright. You said Finnish chocolate for... Anni," it was the first time he'd said the name of Jani's ex aloud, "but since we're here, we may as well check it out. And of course, get coffee."

* * *

"Considering what went on in Norway at that time I wouldn't have been thrilled to share a room with these guys either," Jani said, "and unlike me, Tony and Tommy are and already were family men by then. But I probably would have been too hammered to care anyway." He shrugged.

Sav parked the car as they arrived at the shop, and they both got out. "Okay then," Jani said. "Coffee. I'm curious what other flavours they have." He suddenly grinned. "Just wondering if there are condoms with coffee flavour – no, forget that I said it, that actually sounds rather disgusting. Um, I'm assuming that we're good on condoms and slick?"

* * *

Sav remembered something about that, like a decade before but no details. Something to look up, maybe some lonely night when he had nothing better do to. It sounded like grim reading. He mm-hm'd, but didn't say anything further. All it would do was reveal his ignorance about it.

"Coffee flavoured does sound gross. Since we don't really need them for oral..." Dammit. Sav had made it through the drive with only a few minor twitches and now he was suddenly half-mast. Adjust and tug, ugh. Hearing Jani say "slick" like an experienced pro had done it. He finished hoarsely, "I have enough supplies for now but we can always look to see what else you like. Ultra-thins or something?"

If that style were as great as the advertising promised, Sav might like that, too. He'd take a few micro-metres closer, that fraction of a degree more heat. "We'd better do our shopping now or I'm gonna make a spectacle of myself." Before it got any worse, he pulled his shirt out of his jeans so it would at least partially cover the bulge. Cutting his eyes to the side at Jani, he walked toward the store's entrance.

* * *

When Sav mentioned that they didn't need condoms for oral, Jani wanted to tell Sav that he knew he was clean because he'd been tested for pretty much everything during his stay at the ICU. However, he couldn't bring up the tests without referring to his illness. Unless he'd lie, of course, but he didn't want to, and besides, Sav would then wonder why Jani hadn't mentioned it before. Also, if Sav would have had tests recently, Jani assumed he'd have told him. Still...

"I'll get tested when I return home," he announced. "I want to feel you without anything between us. Not even ultra-thins." He swallowed. "It'll be another first."

Sav pulled his shirt out of his jeans and Jani followed his example. "But for now we could try those."

* * *

"R-really? You'd want that with me?" Sav kept his voice down, but needed to express how surprised and especially how pleased he was by such a revelation. After flirting with stupidity in his youth, he had resigned himself to always playing safe until such time as he found a long-term partner, but he'd always assumed – that word again! – that it would be a woman. Now he had found a partner. Not having his sensitivity compromised by latex, no matter how thin, was incentive enough, plus he was overdue for screening, anyway. "I'll get tested, too, as soon as I can," he promised. "For now, let's start with the coffee, and save supplies for last, or," he was about to say he would likely blow his load in front of the condom display but held his tongue, seeing a couple with small children nearby, "well, you know."

They proceeded into the store. Groceries were on one side, everything else they carried, on the other. Sav followed his nose to the coffee and tea aisle. Besides the various brands, styles and flavours of pods, there was fresh-ground coffee, too, and whole beans. He inhaled deeply. "Alright, we're in coffee la-la-land, choose wisely!"

* * *

"I would," Jani replied quietly. "I want that with you. I want _everything_ with you." He was glad when they approached a more crowded area before the moment became too intense. Also, Sav's suggestion to find the coffee first made a lot of sense.

"Choose wisely!" Jani snorted. "Who am I, Indiana Jones?"

* * *

It took Sav a second to cotton on. Apparently Jani's pop culture experience was stronger than his. "Ha, no. That was unintentional. I suppose here's where I make some half-arsed quote about, 'throw you the whip', huh? Or I could switch franchises and just say, 'I know'. But I'm not that much of a wanker," he grinned.

* * *

"Well, _I_ am going to be a wanker once I'm back in Finland," Jani quipped, "but I'm not ashamed of it – I have needs, right? And since I'll be thinking of you a lot, these needs will be major needs." He grinned, but turned serious again and sighed. "Promise me that you'll wear me out tonight and tomorrow."

They'd arrived at the aisle with coffee meanwhile and Jani gawped at the selection. "I'm tempted to try one of each of these, but I can't see that kind of mixed pack here. Hm, what about this one? 'Pistachio', sounds good. What do you think?"

* * *

"That's two of us, no doubt," Sav replied dryly. The prospect of being on tour in this current hormone-crazed state didn't thrill him. In his twenties, it had been one thing to have to listen to everyone wanking and fucking – groupies or each other – almost every night on the road. At his age? Not appealing. Especially since it was him who'd be doing the wanking. "I'll do my absolute best, to the point you can still walk, anyway. Maybe we need more slick, after all." Human physiology had its limitations. They'd already defied the limits, and Sav was sure all bets were going to be off when they entered the desperate good-bye sex phase. If he'd been sitting down, he'd be squirming like mad, and probably rubbing his butt on the seat or something.

"Pistachio? Never heard of that as a coffee flavour either. I'm sure it's good as long as you usually like pistachio. Nuts seem to be a theme," he observed, looking at the surrounding boxes. "Almond, cashew, macadamia nut... coconut. Does that count?" So much for changing the subject! Considering Jani hadn't come that morning, focusing on nuts probably wasn't helpful. "Nothing here labelled "Jani's". Heh. I have enough caramel at home, but this pumpkin pie flavoured sounds nice." He'd had it in the States, a spin-off of a traditional holiday dessert there. "Get whatever you want, more than one if you can't decide. I don't mind."

* * *

"Okay, hm... I'll take almond in addition to pistachio, then. I want to try your pumpkin pie flavour as well. Let me guess, Halloween?" Jani grinned. "And you can have a taste of my, um, nuts later, as soon as we're back home," he whispered.

Speaking up again and unable to keep the grin off his face, Jani suggested innocently, "How about we get some cream to go with the nut-flavoured _coffee?"_

* * *

"Thanksgiving, but close enough, they're both in late autumn." Sav moved closer. This little trip was quickly turning into something from an adult film. Might as well add the corresponding dialogue. "So you want me to eat some nuts when we get home, eh? I'd like that very much. Two in particular. The taste, the scent... mmmm! We can make our own cream... so much of it. Let's pay for this and get out of here!"

* * *

"I thought Thanksgiving is turkeys and Halloween is pumpkins," Jani wondered, but whatever he'd meant to say next got stuck on his tongue when Sav responded to his suggestion. "Yes to paying and getting out of here." Jani followed him, walking suddenly very uncomfortably with a raging hard-on. "Please tell me that we took the scenic route on our way here and you know a shortcut."

* * *

"Well... kinda. They carve pumpkins on Halloween but the pumpkin pie is for Thanksgiving. It doesn't matter..." Sav had to restrain himself from grabbing Jani or hustling him into the nearest loo. "Uh... we still need..." How the hell were they going to select condoms and lube now? He had some idea what to get since they'd talked about it. "Go up front to the check-out line or follow me, your choice. What we need is that way."

Gesturing to his left, Sav turned and proceeded a few aisles. What was he thinking, buying condoms in a very public store with a man in tow? Thinking with the wrong head. But if they wanted the items discussed, it was now or wait for delivery service. Sav felt like his eyes were crossed. He fumbled for a box of ultra-thins and tried to focus on finding whatever the best kind of water-based lube they carried.

* * *

About to follow Sav, Jani paled when he spotted a woman he thought he recognised from the day before. Apparently, she hadn't seen them yet, but that could change any second. "Isn't that your nemesis there?" he hissed. "I'll take the checkout and then head for your car. If I don't find it I'll call – have you got your mobile with you?"

* * *

"Yeah..." As usual, Sav's phone was in his right front pocket, meaning it might be 'interesting' trying to pull it out.

Then what Jani was trying to convey registered. "Wait, what nemesis? You mean the crazy chicks? What the fuck are they doing here?" That succeeded in killing his wood in less than half a second. For fuck's sake! Fine, they were near the old Def Leppard stomping grounds, but still... "Where?" he whispered. This was surreal. He felt like he was in some bad spy drama.

* * *

"I'm not sure if it's one of them," Jani explained. "I caught a glimpse of a woman who I think looks like one of the ones we ran into yesterday. Over there. I could be wrong, after all I didn't get a too close look yesterday – and I didn't really want one – but I thought I'd point her out to you. Better safe than sorry. Being observed while buying lube and ultra-thin condoms with a guy in tow... not really hard to draw conclusions."

* * *

"Right." Sav blinked. It was an obvious conclusion, but none the less a bit disconcerting how Jani had read his thoughts. "Gimme the coffee, go out to the car, I'll follow when I've paid and made sure I lost them. Easier if it's just me. Go now!"

* * *

"If it's the same one, we don't want her to see us together, again." Jani lowered his voice. "One day, though, I'll want to announce to the world that we're together. I'll see you at the car." He checked his jeans pocket to make sure he had his wallet and phone, then left.

After paying for the coffee, he repaired to the car. Looking around, Jani decided to wait at a little distance just in case the woman he'd seen really was the one they'd ran into the day before and she followed Sav to the car. Meanwhile, he should probably call his bandmates and let them know that he'd be meeting them in Imatra. He called Tony but got only voice-mail, so he left a message that he was going to arrive in the late morning or early afternoon by train from Helsinki.

That taken care of, Jani waited. Vittu, he wanted a smoke...

* * *

Probably in a hurry to get the hell out of there, as Sav was, Jani took off without handing over the coffee, meaning Sav had nothing to hide the supplies under. Whatever. He was a grown man, he could buy condoms and so forth in public. People should be happy to know he wasn't the Typhoid Mary of STI's or something. Lucky for both of them, Jani was out of sight around the end of the aisle before he heard the almost inevitable, "Heeeeyy, Sav..."

Rolling his eyes, Sav reached for the biggest bottle of slick he could spot and straightened up. "Yes?"

Not the one with pink hair, but the other, with the huge tits. "Hi..." she sounded like she might actually be embarrassed. That'd be a first. "Can I get your autograph?" she said, looking down.

If Sav had to guess, and if there was such a thing, he'd say she was the quieter one and had to have her pink-haired friend around to be brash. "You know I just signed you a couple of days ago," he said. "It's probably still there."

"There's always the other side," she bandied, already reaching to pull the side of her shirt down. Okay, maybe this was the mouth. He was never sure. About then, he caught a flash of hot pink. Just great. "How about a picture instead? One of you's gotta have a camera on your phone."

"Sav!" Oi, that was far too loud. "Shopping? Where's your friend?" Alright, his first assessment had been correct, after all.

He wanted to snap, "None of your business!" but shrugged instead. "Are you two stalking me?" he asked, point blank. Maybe they didn't even know they were out of hand. "This is getting excessive, don't you think?"

"What? No! This is a coincidence," they protested. His face must have registered disbelief. "We come by here every week, to... er..."

"To see if you can run into Sav?" he asked. They had the grace to blush, at least. God forbid he make fans feel bad, though, even if they sort of deserved it. "Take a picture, then I gotta go." Both of them were now staring at what he held in his hands.

"Nah," giggled one. "Looks like you've got things to _do_."

He could feel their eyes all over him as he walked away. Maybe now they'd cease and desist, but he doubted it.

Somehow he made it through the check-out line and outside without further incident. Next time Jani visited, he was going to have to consider every step if they left the house. Some of that was his fault; he'd made no effort at disguise. Jani was standing against the building a few cars down from his, looking anxious. "I ditched them," Sav told him, while he wondered if the reverse was true. The Porsche chirped when he hit the button on the remote to unlock the doors. "I plan to take the fastest roads home."

* * *

By the time Sav arrived, Jani was seriously jonesing not only for a smoke but also for a drink. When he saw that his lover was carrying lube and condoms in his hands, Jani approached. "Oh good, it wasn't them, then." At least he couldn't imagine that Sav would have bought the stuff under the 'crazy chicks' watchful eyes.

Sav unlocked the car, announcing that he planned to take the fastest roads home, and Jani nodded his approval. Not only was he apprehensive of running into more of Sav's fans but he also needed a distraction from his cravings. Just as he opened the passenger door, he found himself engulfed in a bright light for a fraction of a second that looked like a camera flash

"Vittu, Sav, was that...? Let's get out of here!"

* * *

"Fucking hell!" So much for 'without incident'. They must have followed him, or else there were more. Sav was torn between tracking down the camera and stomping it, or simply leaving.

Deciding on the latter, because having a temper tantrum in public wasn't on his wish list of activities he wanted photographed or recorded, he informed Jani, "It was them, I thought they'd decided to bugger off." He jumped into the car and started it, made sure Jani was in and no one was behind him and backed out of his spot, then peeled out of the car park. Gritting his teeth, Sav drove too fast but really, not much faster than the average driver on these roads. "Should have just gone home, I suppose. At least we got what we came for."

* * *

"We got what we..." It was too much. Jani started to laugh hysterically. "This... You know, earlier, when we were trying to decide which of the coffee flavours to choose, I may have thought I'm glad that I'm not _that_ famous, so I wouldn't be worried to be spotted buying, well, what some might not consider manly coffee. And then you, famous, have enough balls to buy condoms and lubricant while being watched by these crazy fans. Then the said fans take a picture of you with a _guy_ right after purchasing said supplies. Well, let them try to make that story public and they'll embarrass themselves big time. Who on earth would believe it?"

He sobered, "Unless, of course, they took a picture of you with the condoms and lube, too. Please tell me they didn't."

* * *

When Jani dissolved into laughter at his inadvertent pun, the tension began to leave Sav's body. He slowed the car a bit, enough to lessen the risk of being pulled over for speeding, and stopped white-knuckling the steering wheel.

"Unmanly coffee? I never even thought about that. So what's the deal? Manly men drink it strong and black, the end?" Now Sav was laughing, too. He wondered if Jani... "Have you ever been to a Starbucks? God forbid a Finn order a venti half-caff, skinny, soy, triple-pump, flavoured anything. Not that I would, either."

Like Jani, Sav wouldn't exactly love it if a picture of him buying rubbers and lube hit the front page of the Sun. Mainly, he didn't want their relationship outed till they were ready, if that ever happened. He thought he was safe – in more ways than one. "Nope, they didn't. I didn't see a flash, anyway. Somehow I managed to talk my way out of it. And after I paid, it went into a bag."

He thought for a minute, and grinned. "As for balls... Yorkshire county, which is this part of Britain, is considered northern England. People say 'stubborn Northerner' or 'stubborn Yorkshireman' as a matter of course. I was on a mission, and no one was going to make me give it up. It was all for our _pleasure,"_ he stressed the last word, fully aware it sounded like a bad commercial. Jani could relate to stubborn, Sav was sure. After all, Finland was far north of England.

* * *

"I usually drink my coffee black, but with you everything is different. Special." Jani smiled. The smile froze on his face when it dawned on him what it could mean if a picture of him and Sav made it out. It was extremely far-fetched, but what if the woman from the army who'd impressed on him that he wasn't allowed to leave the country was a Def Leppard fan and recognised him?

 _If, if, if..._ Jani knew that such thoughts should be rated as paranoia, given how unlikely it was. Still... Helvetti, now he was craving a drink or ten even more...

"Sav," he began, "I... can you help me with something? I want... a drink. Badly. Overreacting to the momentary panic over these crazy chicks here. Could we do something that we agreed earlier that we'd _not_ do? Talk about sex before we're back at your place? I could use the distraction."

* * *

Huh, Jani must be panicking badly. He'd made that passing remark about things not being so good for gays in Finland, not that Jani was but if the press spun it that way... Yes, Sav would 'help'. To a degree. "Um, okay. I don't need any excuse at all to talk about sex, not with you. Just one thing. Maybe two." Sav glanced sideways. Now Jani was wide-eyed and sweating. "First of all, keep your hands off my stick shift. I could seriously kill us. Second, if you get so excited you're gonna cream your pants... well, don't. That's mine." By now, Jani had seen Sav yank his balls down more than once. Not exactly fun, but effective.

"So then... about barebacking. I can't wait to do that with you, Jani. Do it with absolutely nothing between us, feel _everything_. Come so far up inside you..."

* * *

"Hell yeah, I want that!" Jani gasped, all thought of getting drunk or smoking forgotten. "Alone thinking about it..." He gave his crotch a hearty squeeze. "You needn't worry about me touching your, um, stick shift. I have a very good reason to want to arrive at your place in one piece. As for me creaming your pants, for now I want to feel your skin on mine, but one day I'll probably ask you to make me come in my – pardon, your – pants... Would you like that?" Jani grinned.

* * *

"Hell yeah, I would! One day." One day when they had enough time that wasting a shot wasn't a big loss, or else when there was no other option. "Maybe you manage to catch a show of ours... you'd get into the front row, watching me all night. You'd sneak backstage, I'm due for the post-show bullshit and all we have time for is to rub up against each other in some corner." This wasn't Sav's normal type of fantasy, but with Jani as the subject, it was damn hot.

"I'd have you pinned against the wall, hand in your unbuttoned jeans but over your – my – underwear. I can feel you squirming, both resisting and moving with my hand. You start to beg... to get you off, but not like that, like some adolescent who can't help it. I still have my stage clothes on, my leathers, I'm humping the side of your leg, and I whisper in your ear that I'm gonna, so you're gonna..."

* * *

"Oh man, you're killing me," Jani groaned. "Can I...?" He didn't wait for an answer but stuffed his hand down his – Sav's – jeans, once again glad that they weren't as tight as his own. "We're backstage and I'm all riled up from the show. You weren't making it obvious, but I knew you were showing off for me, all these sexy moves, the girls went crazy, and so did I, knowing you'd give it all to me afterward. Only when we're finally alone you have to attend some publicity thing, so there's no time for... I want to wait but you don't want me to... I do have a suspicion that you want to see me squirm, and I don't want to give in to it, but, man, your hand... makes me go from resisting to begging in less than a minute..." He pressed his palm against his dick, imagining it was Sav's.

"Keep talking, please..."

* * *

Out of the corner of his eye, Sav could see Jani stuff his hand in his pants. Other than that, he had to watch the road, and he couldn't exactly reach over there. He, too, shifted in his seat, although not like the muted gyrations going on next to him.

"If you were in the audience now, I'd be on my knees, or squatting down and reaching out while I play one-handed, or up on the drum riser in my stance so that every eye in the house is on me, but I only want yours... and in our dark little corner, you're so hard in those pants, so desperate, spurting your slick in them but I won't let your dick out, I just keep stroking it through that damp, sticky cloth, rubbing it up and down. I've got my face in your neck, licking the sweat off you, can smell how bad you want me, just like I need you. I curl my hand around your hard-on, still over cloth, and wank you with it... I won't stop even though you're shaking and whining 'cuz I need to see you lose it."

It might've been doing this new thing, or the very real danger of driving the car at the same time. Sav had to reach down and shove the heel of his hand against his balls, enough pain so he wouldn't spontaneously combust. "Can feel your thundering heartbeat against my palm, and finally, you accept the inevitable and grind into it. How you move, your hips, so fucking hot, Jani... Your dick swells more, it's like steel Jani, hot living metal and blood and how bad you need to cream your pants now, 'cuz there's no going back. Your whole body jerks and you're comin', your load soaks through and you just keep comin'."

* * *

"Well, I'd better not," Jani moaned, "I mean come, not right now, when we're nearly home where you can... bend me over the Porsche again because I don't think I'll be able to wait even until we're in the house." He pushed his hand further down his pants so he could give his balls a hard pinch. It made him wince but deflated his arousal by a small fraction.

"Helvetti, if that was a preview how phone sex with you is going to turn out to be, I now have a sliver of hope that we'll survive the time apart," he grinned, then his smile turned even wider when he thought he recognised Sav's house. "As for now... We've made it home, right?"

* * *

He must have been really close. Jani did something to himself that allowed him to breathe easier and speak. Sav could guess, and sympathised. At least they had reached his neighbourhood, since he'd forgone the meandering route from earlier that day. While Jani didn't continue vocalising their fictional interlude, Sav was feeling rather proud of getting him so worked up with just words. Yeah, he really had no shame, but he hadn't had much chance – or even interest – in that kind of talk just for the sake of it before. Their phone sex would be spectacular, he was convinced.

"Oh you're so gonna get that... yeah it's my house. Never thought bending you over would get you off so hard, and no, I'm not complaining! " More like panting for breath again and salivating over the past-and-near-future mental imagery. The garage door remote was clipped to Sav's visor. He thumbed the button to open the door, thinking about running that same thumb through the mess of fluids Jani had no doubt already produced.

Sav drove up the short driveway and into the darker garage; here, he immediately turned off the engine and hit the button for the overhead door again. "Very handy I have these, huh?" He held up the bag of precariously-gained supplies and smirked, "Ultra-thins?" Whether they fucked in the garage or not, Sav couldn't stand one more second of being strangled in his clothes. No amount of adjusting was gonna help. "Wanna come feel me?"

* * *

"Yes," Jani whispered hoarsely. "But you've got the order wrong. I wanna feel you, _then_ come."

* * *


	3. Sex, no drugs, but Rock'n'Roll

* * *

Jani got out of the car and looked at Sav. "I wanna feel you in me. Now."

* * *

"So literal." Unable to help half a goofy smile, Sav advanced on Jani. "Now... is relative." He brandished the bottle of lube. "You know we don't skip this." Beyond that, Sav didn't think it bore talking about. He had that feeling again, the anticipation of feeling his perfect match against him.

Then he had it. Jani felt so good, so right in his arms, a firm, solid, male body, one with an erection that dug into his hip the second they made contact. Sav worked the tie out of Jani's hair as he held him and freed it. "One of these times, I would love for you to ride me, toss your mane while we drive each other higher and higher..." he rasped, voice scratchy as a three pack a day habit.

* * *

"Don't worry," Jani replied, willing his concentration momentarily away from his raging erection. "I know that you'll take care of me, making sure I don't get hurt. It's in both our interests to keep me in, um, working condition down there," he grinned.

Then Sav held him in his arms and fiddled with his hairband. His suggestion of what he'd like to do one day had Jani's full attention immediately below his navel again. "God yes," he gasped. "I don't think I want to wait right now until we're inside – and neither your Porsche, nor your back, nor my knees or whatever will appreciate it if we do that on the car – but let's give it a try tonight!"

* * *

That Jani was open to being on top only turned Sav on more. "Yes, tonight!" he groaned, and leaned in to kiss Jani hard. His arms had their own mind, pulling Jani closer yet, one hand sliding down to clutch his butt. Yeah, their sex life would probably get boring if they always did it facing, missionary, but for the moment, Sav could not get enough of kissing Jani till they were breathless. Their lips slanted one way, then the other, tongues sliding and twining. He stood as braced as he could to allow Jani to grind on him, gratified at the totally unsubtle friction.

They had to move on, though, or no doubt Jani really would come in his pants. Sav finally managed to lean away and rucked Jani's shirt up, tweaking his nipples once before going to work on his belt buckle, then the button and zipper. So much easier than buttons! "Ah, there..." He pushed denim and cotton down over Jani's hips and thighs, and took his red-purple erection in one hand, his balls in the other. "Knees again, or I'd be down on them right now." Instead, he stroked the silky-hot skin a couple of times. "But I can't wait much longer, drove me crazy in the car, leaking all over m'self." Perhaps an exaggeration, but true, and he needed to peel out of the damp cloth covering him, now!

* * *

"Sav!" Jani moaned into Sav's mouth as they kissed, shuddering when his nipples were tweaked. Then Sav pulled back a little and worked Jani's swollen dick free of his pants. "'S just as well," Jani whispered as he reached for the button and zipper on Sav's jeans. "If you were kneeling, I couldn't undress you."

Sav's erection fit perfectly in his hand, heavy and warm, the vein pulsing when Jani stroked it with his calloused fingertips. "Now I want to kneel and... worship... this... I want to kiss it and make love to it, and I can't decide if I want that more or if I want you in me more. Although..." Jani hadn't come in the morning, and signals from his groin suggested that the urge to get off outweighed the desire to lick Sav.

"We should make a list," he said. "I want to, what, ride you, is that what it's called? And I want to lick you. What else do we want, and what do we want most, so we can prioritise and tick the most important items off before we're apart... No, I'm joking, of course!" Jani laughed. "But you won't hear me complain if I get to ride you and suck you." There was something else he'd want on that list they weren't going to write, but didn't dare to ask for as by doing so he'd probably ruin everything.

* * *

"Oh gawd yes please so good shite, Jani, fuck!!" Nonsensical profanity fell through Sav's lips as Jani took him out and stroked him firmly. Innocence was extremely appealing but Sav also loved an assertive, knowledgeable partner. Jani handled him like he'd been doing this a long time. Sav went up on his toes, his knees gripping the side of Jani's leg as he pushed into his fist. If it was like this for him, Jani must be in pain, his testicles full with unreleased seed from the morning, too.

"How 'bout we make a list after we've milked each other dry?" Sav groaned. It was a good idea, not that they always ended as they'd planned, even in the heat of the moment. He reached for the box of condoms and somehow got one out, letting the box fall on the floor. "Wanna do this or turn around now? Or... tell me if you need anything, anything at all." He hoped he conveyed that Jani was free to tell him if he wasn't quite ready yet. Well, Sav still needed to open him on his fingers, but that was usually the last thing before he took him.

* * *

"Yes for the list after," Jani swallowed. He continued to stroke Sav, but his coordination was beginning to suffer from his extreme arousal. "Yes for me wanting to put the condom on you, then yes to turning around. And what I need is you to open me up and make me slippery – and can we stop talking now?" He laughed as he reached for the condom and took it from Sav's hand.

"Let me know if you want me to take more time putting this on, like I did the last time. Otherwise I'll just roll it down." He tore the wrapper open while he spoke and waited for Sav's response.

* * *

"Just do it fast." Sav was amused. First Jani basically told him to shut up and fuck him, and now who was talking too much? He was more aroused, however, thinking how he was going to fit into that slippery little hole. Shifting to angle his pelvis to allow Jani to get at him, he flipped the cap of the bottle of slick while he waited for Jani to glove him.

* * *

Not surprised by Sav's answer, Jani did as he'd announced and rolled the condom over his lover's erection. "My part's done. Your turn." Sav had stopped stroking him while Jani gloved him up. Jani was, however, also relieved as it took the edge off for the moment. He stepped on his toe tips and kissed Sav's lips, then he turned around. Sav had pushed his jeans down to his thighs, which prevented him from spreading his legs, but somehow this aroused him even further as he thought this position made him tighter and provided more friction.

"I can't wait to have you in me!"

* * *

"Only a minute..." Sav could barely wait, either. The second his hands finished their job, Jani kissed him once more, almost like permission for the next phase, then turned and presented himself, resting his elbows on the car. It was a flashback from the first day, when two days had been like two years. Sav slicked his fingers and, looking down, brought them to his goal. The sight of that dusky little hole made his dick jump; it wanted in, _now._

Sliding the first finger in, that was easy. Jani pushed against him, his body asking for more. The second, some resistance, and he took the time to assure himself Jani had relaxed enough for another before adding his ring finger. Based on the enthusiastic noises and wiggling, Jani was at least mentally ready, but then he had been for hours, really. "Y'alright? Need more?" That morning, Jani had mentioned 'in me', so he mustn't be too sore. That ointment of his worked miracles. Maybe once they dispensed with condoms, they could use it at least in part for slick. Rotating his wrist, Sav found the bump inside, anticipating Jani's reaction but waiting for the real thing. This kid was gonna kill him. When had he ever known this kind of freedom to just... take another person along for his ride?

* * *

To Jani's immense relief, Sav shared the urgency. Jani had barely turned around when Sav already parted his nether cheeks and slid one finger in. It was a smooth move and Jani smiled happily, cherishing the moment: no longer than a minute or two from now, Sav would bury himself in Jani's body to the hilt, be as close to him as it was physically and anatomically possible. How come Jani had led an active sex life for a decade without ever trying this before? And was it really less than a week that he'd had Sav in him for the first time?

"Yes, 'm alright and yes, I need more," he panted in reply to Sav's question.

A second, then a third finger wiggled into him. Already, Jani had come to treasure the intrusion even though his body was still taking its time to relax and stop fighting the fingers. It definitely stopped fighting a second after Sav had pushed the ring finger in to the second knuckle and was aiming for...

"Fuuuuck!" Jani screeched as fireworks sparked from that tiny gland hidden deeply inside him. He needed... "More," Jani all but sobbed, "Need more, please!"

* * *

More? Sav could do more! That's all he wanted, right now. Jani was waiting, waiting to take it, everything he had. Withdrawing his fingers, he grasped himself in one hand, Jani's hip with the other, and brought them together. "Oh yeah, oh god!" he gasped, letting his dick have its way – in, in, further in, all the way in to the base. Whether they'd done it before or not, Jani was virgin-tight. It always looked like he'd never fit, but he did, somehow, the rings of muscle stretched to the max around him. Sav gritted his teeth not to tear it up immediately, and pulled back a little more slowly. "Feels so good, so hot..."

* * *

"Fuck, yes, yes, yes," Jani groaned deeply as Sav pushed into him till he bottomed out. It felt so good to be stretched and filled, and how it felt good for Sav, too! "Fuck!" he repeated – well, he was learning English now, as he'd told Sav, only switching from Finnish to English profanities was probably not the way either of them had imagined it when he'd mentioned improving his language skills... Why did he have time to think?

"I need you to... Please move," Jani moaned and pressed back, urging Sav to stir.

* * *

From there, at Jani's urging, Sav lost himself in the slide, the rhythm, the dizzying visceral act. His voice joined Jani's in repetitions of, "Fuck, fuck..!" Sometimes, he could put words to his impressions and feelings; now, it was all a one-word tribute to what they were engaged in, love but with that edge of forbidden and secret, of their own making. Trapped in their jeans again, the main motion was Sav thrusting, driving the spiral to heaven. He took control, heavy, fierce lunging with what leverage he could get, till his groin smacked Jani's upraised cheeks every time he sank himself deep.

When he finally remembered to attend to his partner's erection, he found a string of precome dangling. Sucking in a breath, Sav managed, "Jesus god, Jani, you're so fucking wet... love how you drool for meh..." It had to be some of the built-up fluids from earlier, and he was sure he was pressing some of that out with the angle. All he had to do was stay at whatever brought the craziest, loudest noises from the guitarist, and he followed those screeches like a bread crumb trail to their mutual release. Sav greased his palm with the offering and wrapped Jani's dick in his fist, stroking in time with his hips' pounding grind. "Like... that... huh... gonna take you all the way there this time... take you..." He was getting close already, speeding up.

* * *

And then Sav was pounding into him, hitting that spot over and over, milking a droplet of pleasure juice out of him each time he shoved in. Jani's groans and grunts merged into continuous moaning. Already after the first few thrusts he knew that he wasn't going to last, not when it felt so incredibly good and especially not with the pent-up lust from the morning.

Then Sav's hand found Jani's dick. He'd barely begun to stroke him in earnest when Jani's balls began to tighten and draw up. His spine and whole lower body were tingling with the imminent release.

"Sav!" Jani cried out. "I..." His climax hit him so hard and suddenly that his knees buckled and he was held upright only from being impaled on Sav's erection. Jani was shuddering and twitching through his orgasm, endless fountains of seed erupted from his slit as Sav continued to pound on his inner gland and stroke him firmly.

* * *

They were so loud! But they couldn't help it. Sav gave a passing thought to whether anyone could hear their moaning and hitching grunts, obviously made by people having intense sex, outside. He hoped to hell not. Or he didn't care. Just the thought seemed to make him even less inhibited.

About then, Jani exploded in his hand, shooting jets and spurts onto the Porsche. The grip of his sphincter around Sav's dick clenched, the pressure nearly unbearable but no way was he pulling out now, if he even could. A second later, he had his hands full in another way, as Jani lost his balance or his knees gave out. Sav was frantic with the need to come, but also, to keep his lover safe. Shuffling his feet, he moved them fractionally closer to the car and pinned Jani between it and himself. "So close... so close... felt you come... love it when you fucking come for me, so good, Jani, you're so good..." he babbled, all the while grinding into Jani's still-spasming depths.

Sav knew his own responses well enough he could almost count down to his orgasm. Five, four, three, two... he sped up what restricted thrusts he could manage, using the power in his hips and back to move in, his arms to keep Jani from falling to the floor. This plus the typical tenseness directly preceding the release just made it better, and Sav was wailing wordlessly, voice pitching like someone was seriously hurting him but it hurt so good... and there, now! His lower body and his contracted balls pulsed and heaved, pulsed and heaved, again and again. He was shaking, eyes squeezed shut tight, totally gone as he poured it out, every drop of sweat and come and love and lust. "Jani... Jani, luv..."

* * *

"Oh man, Sav," Jani wheezed when Sav's climax slowly ebbed down. "That was..." He turned his head and grinned. "Do I need to tell you?"

He was still a little shaky yet relaxed, and he also felt invigorated, full of energy, and he already had an idea what to do with it. "So," Jani said happily, "how about we clean up a bit, try some of the new coffee, and then you could show me your music room?"

* * *

"Yeah..." Sav held himself up against the side of the car. He hoped he could recover soon-ish; Jani was bouncing all over the place. Well, the reverse had happened before, that Jani was knackered and Sav was recharged, so it was no big deal. "Coffee, good idea. Definitely. Maybe some leftover Chinese. And I wouldn't want to _not_ play together at least once. Guitars." His brain was lagging behind, too; but he had to assume Jani understood since he'd brought it up this time.

Even to dash between the garage and house they'd need to pull themselves together, so Sav set about that. First things first, used condom off! Wash hands, pull up his pants, wash car... ha. Where had he dropped his keys?

* * *

"Lean on me," Jani suggested when Sav didn't pull out but apparently needed to support himself. Jani knew how he felt – the day before he'd been the one wiped out from sex and Sav had held him up. "Take your time, we're in no hurry today. The coffee can wait another minute. I can make it and although you won't believe me much longer that I can't cook, I can also nuke yesterday's leftovers." He winked.

"Then, playing. You sound as if you'd pick a guitar yourself. Want me to try my hands on a bass? It's been a while but could be fun..." Jani mentally cringed at the memory of the last time he'd played bass in public – the year before on Machine Men's stage with Henkka. Just how much had they drunk that night, he asked himself for the umpteenth time. The obvious answer was 'too much', of course.

"If you ask nicely, I can tell you an embarrassing story about me as a bassist," he offered.

* * *

He felt a bit strange, leaning on Jani mainly because as the older, more experienced party, Sav felt like he should be the one to be their strength and support. It was true that Jani had held him through a couple of vulnerable moments already, in bed. He also was grateful or he'd probably have fallen on his arse. "Thanks..." Eventually, within a minute or two, Sav's breathing slowed and his ability to function caught up with his brain. He pulled out and went about those things he'd planned.

"What's your embarrassing story? I wanna hear it," Sav chuckled. "I'm sure you handled yourself just fine, drunk or not. I'm not trying to rub your nose in it, but you've told me a bunch of times that in the past, drinking didn't affect your playing." He paused. "I know you're working on it."

By now, he had got himself decent again. Sav did wash his hands, and collected his purchases and small bits of things that needed to be tossed in the trash bin. "I'll play whatever seems right, once we start. Probably we'll want to try different things. There's more than enough instruments, at least two of electric, acoustic and basses. The only thing is that the electric guitars are kind of junk, you're gonna wish for your nice customs."

* * *

Sav was still moving very carefully, so Jani decided to tell him about that gig, slowly, to give him more time to recover. "I needn't tell you about the kind of stupid pranks that happen on the last day of any tour," he began. "This one was Henkka's idea of fun in '05. So, we had two support bands, and somehow Henkka managed to convince me to join him out on stage while Machine Men played, with him and me dressed in blue trash bags. I," he blushed in hindsight, "wasn't even wearing pants other than briefs. Someone gave me a stupid hat, one of these things people wear in the rain forest or doing safari, and I put that on as well. For some reason I can't begin to figure out in hindsight – although I'm sure there was a logical explanation for it as I remember that it made perfect sense at the time – I played bass. My brain must at some point have decided to censor the rest, but there are a few moments where I can see myself playing bass half-naked, dressed in a trash bag wearing a safari hat."

* * *

The mental picture was... mental. Sav threw back his head and laughed, another sort of release. "Trash bags! Safari hat! Nice stage clothes!" By now, he was half-hysterical, and had to lean against the car again, shaking with laughter, till he calmed down some. "Fun in '05? Like it was decades ago?! That was last year!" he snorted. "You blokes are absolute nutters."

Then he thought of something, and immediately pulled out his mobile. "So then, Jani. Tell me: are there any pictures of this singular event online? 'Cause if there are, I'm gonna Internet stalk you right now... gonna perv all over your half-naked... what did you say the band was called, Machine Men?" Sav opened a window on the tiny screen and started typing. Since he hadn't even heard of Jani Liimatainen a year ago, much less met him or done all the things they'd done, he was going to take a good look at... well, whatever he might see.

* * *

Jani cringed when Sav pulled out his phone and announced he was going to search the Internet for pictures of the Bochum gig. "Um, does it have to be right now? Can't that wait until we're in the house, preferably the kitchen, with coffee and something to eat? I don't think I have photos of that, um, performance on my laptop, but I know who took some and where to find them."

* * *

Sav stopped and looked up from his device, both thumbs stilling mid-tap. Right. Post-sex, Jani was not the same animal as before and during, nor did he tolerate 'compliments' even in the form of Sav suggesting he wanted to look at Internet pics of his... attributes. After a second, Sav stuffed his mobile in his pocket. "So are you saying I need to work on my impulse control?" he joked. "You're probably right. And yeah... coffee."

Somehow he'd managed to dropkick his car keys across the floor, but when he turned his head, he caught the glitter of them and went to fetch them. Another thing he needed to do: make spares. And maybe an extra set for Jani as well, for posterity, and in hope. Sav kept quiet about that, simply locked the garage behind them and proceeded, like the other day, to the kitchen door.

* * *

"No, I'm definitely not saying that," Jani laughed. "I like your impulse control. Or no, wait... I like your lack of it. But you should never come between a Finn and his coffee." Sav got ready to leave the garage, and so did Jani. He pulled up his jeans, then followed Sav to the house. They went straight to the kitchen, where Jani loaded the coffee-maker with a caramel pod and dashed upstairs to pick up his laptop. When he returned, Sav's coffee was ready, so he made one for himself – pistachio, he was such a girl! – and opened the computer.

The photos from that event weren't hard to find, but you had to know what you're looking for. "Okay," Jani began, "this is Henkka and me getting ready for the, um, show."

"And, well, the rest... But see for yourself."

* * *

"Yes, I'm learning." Since Jani seemed to be on a mission with making coffee, Sav went to the fridge and pulled out the paper boxes with their Chinese lunch of the previous day. After setting up one brew, which Sav could smell was the caramel flavour he preferred, Jani left. He probably needed the loo. Sav hadn't peed his pants laughing or anything, but he'd have to take care of that soon, too, especially once the coffee kicked in.

Since he wasn't sure what dishes, other than _not_ shrimp, Jani would want to eat, Sav didn't nuke anything yet. As far as he was concerned, it was better cold than reheated, kind of like pizza, but not everyone had the same taste. To that end, he opened all the boxes, took out plates and silverware, and put everything near the microwave for the time being. Jani returned shortly with his laptop, made himself a coffee, and started surfing. It only took him seconds to find what he was looking for, then he turned the comp so Sav, who now had some clue, could see the screen.

Most of it was simply amusing, light-hearted fun, and he grinned. When was the last time his band had done anything ridiculous and prank-ish like that? Years! The best they got was Viv's propensity to constantly flip everyone off, or maybe someone trying to sneak dairy products into Phil's over-zealous dietary requirements. The onstage pictures were lo-res enough that he couldn't really see any details, so to speak. Yeah, good fun. One showing Jani with his foot obviously up on a monitor, hm, nice.

Then Jani scrolled to a shot of him in his typical stance, naked thighs and all, and Sav nearly dropped his coffee. "Fuuuuuck, Jani..." Yeah, so the kid had a silly look on his face in that one, it didn't even matter. It was better than any porn, and if they hadn't just fucked – again – he'd be hard as nails. Something had to be wrong with him, finding a man wearing a bin liner sexy. Holy gods, something about the way the power cord from the bass trailed down his...

There was one last pic, which made Sav's mouth and eyes water. It wasn't O-face, maybe something more angelic. Sweeter. Jani looked so damned young. Sweat-matted hair, eyes appearing closed, the lines of his face set in pure concentration... Sav didn't even know what to do with that. If he hadn't been intimately familiar Jani, had never seen something similar just inches from his own face, he'd probably just be laughing about the 'costume' again. "Erm, I don't know if I'm supposed to laugh or..." he trailed off, then made a show of adjusting himself. "Okay, well now I know you can play bass," he finished.

* * *

Sav's reaction – _"Fuuuuuck, Jani..."_ – made Jani giggle. "I told you, embarrassing. And fun. We laughed our arses off. There was more mayhem when our second support band played. Tony went on stage and showed them how he brushes his teeth. Then we all joined to help them out with backing vocals," he snorted, "and I, um, kinda, assisted the guitarist with his wah-wah. But I, uh, actually don't remember too much of our own set as by that time I was really hammered, even by my own standards. Sorry," he shrugged.

"I wouldn't say I can _play_ bass, but I can hit the roots to start with, which is good enough for me. The stuff I sometimes do with my drummer friend back home, I play bass on those songs as well. It's fun and I really enjoy it from time to time, but if I'm honest, I can't pretend to be anything other than a six-string man. Or..."

Jani beamed. "I'll tell you a secret. Since you mentioned my custom axes earlier. The guys at Ibanez are making a seven-string Destroyer for me. Nobody knows yet except me." He blushed. "And now you."

* * *

"Wow, really? That's... impressive." Sav nodded. Ibanez, probably only after Fender and Gibson, was a very popular brand. "Vai has one, right? So is the seventh string higher or lower? Forgive me, I never looked into it." Of course, anyone with enough money could order custom guitars. For the company to selectively make one for a musician... that was something more.

"Yeah, I gather you had fun..." Sav smirked, sort of happy that Jani either ignored him or didn't gather that he'd been having the type of thoughts he probably shouldn't, 24/7. He was a bit wistful, too. It had been forever since anyone had crashed their stage, or they had 'visited' any other bands' sets. Probably the very early 80s. "Made yourself right at home on their stage, huh? That's cool that things like that, so impromptu, happen in your scene. What's with the toothbrushing? Is Tony known for his teeth or something?"

* * *

"No clue about Tony's teeth," Jani commented before his eyebrows went up when Sav asked if Vai played Ibanez. "Seventh string is low, usually tuned to B, but there's a whole zoo of drop tunings around. In bass terms, think of a five-string instead of four. And yes, Vai is with Ibanez. He designed the JEM. Amongst others, Satriani, too is with Ibanez and has his signature models, as does Petrucci – I play a JPM myself. But for a guitarist endorsed by Ibanez you should look closer to home," Jani grinned. "Like, for example, at your very own Phil Collen."

* * *

"Oh, you mean his Destroyer? Yeah, that's rather iconic... was his main axe during the Pyromania years. Anyone who's half a fan knows it. I asked about Vai because of seven strings. Thought... I dunno." Sav looked down, embarrassed. He was such a poser. Jani, the real deal, no doubt saw right through him. "What do you want me to heat up for you?" he gestured at the boxes of Chinese on the counter.

* * *

Jani nodded. "I can certainly relate to that. My RG used to be my main axe, but my Destroyer – both custom – well, I'd say it's a draw. As for seven strings, the first time I played one..." He smiled wistfully. "It made me feel like my dick grew three inches. I'm really looking forward to having that Destroyer." He beamed.

"Food-wise, why don't we just heat everything? I'm starving." He took a sip of his coffee and sighed happily. "You said to choose wisely and I did."

* * *

Interesting comparison. There were a few things unrelated to sex that had got Sav hard and music was one of them, but he couldn't say any of them had made him feel bigger. Still, he couldn't refute the notion that it was all tied together sometimes. "Three inches, huh? That's a good return on one extra string. I'm surprised more guitarists haven't upgraded. Five-string is getting more popular, for basses. 'Do it deeper' and all that. I spend more time keeping it from buzzing than playing it, honestly. A low B guitar string would still be skinnier than the G on a bass; probably wouldn't have that problem. I understand being excited – no pun intended – about a new instrument. When I switched from Washburn to Jackson, all of a sudden I wanted a bunch of them."

Looking in the open boxes, Sav took some of what he wanted and dished it up on his plate. Then, other than the box with the spicy shrimp, he bunged the rest in the microwave and set it for four minutes. "I like the leftovers cold, sorry if that's gross," he grimaced.

* * *

Sav elaborated on seven strings and Jani smiled, looking forward to discussing his favourite topic, guitars, with his favourite person – okay, with Sav, sex was probably his favourite topic, but guitars weren't far behind – but before he could reply, Sav changed the subject to their food.

"Um, no, that's not gross," Jani said. "I actually prefer it that way, too. Sorry," he hung his head, "I wasn't listening properly. When you asked what you should heat up for me, I thought you meant for us. I should really work on my English."

* * *

It took only a second to register what Jani had said. "Oh! Shite!" Sav punched the stop button on the microwave and pulled the door open. "It wasn't in there long, only a few seconds. It should still be mostly cold, if you dig it out of the middle," he advised, though Jani surely knew that. "When you said you could nuke it, I guess that was more a statement of ability than preference, huh? Don't be afraid to tell me if I don't understand what you mean. Like, before I try to heat your food," he smiled, taking the boxes back out and moving aside so Jani could dish up.

Once again, Jani had apologised for his English. As far as Sav was concerned it wasn't comprehension, but maybe those fine nuances in pitch where words might 'say' one thing and mean another, that was tripping them up. All they could do was talk it out.

"So anyway, I kind of cut you off in my rush to feed us. Sorry. Also, I was fishing as to whether Ibanez is endorsing you, or vice-versa, however you want to say it." Pausing, Sav considered what he was walking into now. If yes, then it was public knowledge and Jani shouldn't mind telling him about it. But if not, there could all sorts of baggage attached to why not. He shifted his weight foot to foot. Finally deciding he was being too cautious for his own good and he couldn't spend his life dancing around every little thing, Sav asked, "Are they?"

* * *

"It's okay," Jani hurried to reassure Sav when he stopped the microwave. "That I prefer it cold doesn't mean I won't eat it warm." He smiled back and spooned food onto his plate.

"About Ibanez, they asked me back in 2001. Our first album topped the Japanese metal charts and after our first big tour in 2000, the one with Strato, and the summer festivals, we were invited to Japan. It was insane. Sonata may not have been very famous internationally, but the Japanese sure knew who we were. Then our next album came out and they sent me an email if I was interested in an endorsement deal. Hell yeah, I was." Jani couldn't help the grin that spread all over his face. "I think the expression goes, the rest is history?" He raised his eyebrows in question.

"So I get custom-made axes following my, um, requests. Preferences. There's even been talk of a signature model, but that's on the back-burner for the time being." He frowned. "Sometimes I have to force myself to practice these days because I don't feel like playing. If I ever design my dream instrument, I want to be at 100 percent, which I'm not right now. I wouldn't even begin to know what I'd want..."

He paused. "Once I get an idea about this, you'll be the first to know." Jani smiled again. "You have a few interesting instruments yourself. Are you endorsed? Considering how famous you are that should be a given, so, sorry if I still need to ask."

* * *

"Yes, 'The rest is history'. That's great," Sav nodded, glad that the response about endorsements was positive, "that they're making you just what you want. Please do tell me whatever news you have, I'll always want to know whatever's going on in your life. I really don't know much about guitar specs and such, but I can always listen." He met Jani's eyes, and hoped that his own showed his sincerity.

"You know, I've hardly touched a guitar since being on break. That's terrible, I know. One more reason to get up there..." He looked up at the ceiling for a second. "I'm endorsing Washburn right now, since '99. They gave me an instrument that I liked, so I agreed. But lately all I've been playing are Jacksons."

* * *

"Are you suggesting I should eat up because there's some nice dessert upstairs? And this time I'm not speaking of sex." Jani grinned. "You know, when I said a minute ago that I sometimes don't feel like playing, I suddenly have an uncanny urge to get my fingers on a fretboard."

He shovelled the remaining food from his plate into his mouth, continuing to speak after he'd swallowed, "Do you have, like, any specific ideas or wishes regarding what we could play?"

* * *

Since they'd first talked about playing together, Sav had tried to imagine what they might possibly have in common, musically. "Maybe start with some covers... same stuff everyone knows. I dunno about me trying to play your usual genre but I can try. No doubt you can learn any Def Leppard song in minutes. What about originals? We can play, but also write? Just a thought."

Sav had never written with anyone but his own bandmates. He felt both nervous and excited. Jani must be too, at the rate he was bolting his lunch. Suddenly, Sav had no further appetite. If Jani was likening music to dessert where 'dessert' usually meant sex, the guitarist was jonesing to play. It was his calling, after all. His passion. They should not delay. "Just put your plate in the sink when you're done." Sav was already closing the boxes that had any food left in them, and he returned them to the fridge. "Come on... upstairs."

* * *

"That sounds like a plan," Jani agreed. "We can always begin with some classic like Smoke on the Water. Or Nothing else Matters. Everybody plays that as the first song they ever learn on guitar, so we should be able to pull it off," he winked. "And you can teach me some Leppard songs. I seem to remember that something about sugar keeps coming up..."

Jani laughed and stuck out his tongue.

* * *

Jani stuck his tongue out at him and cackled over the reference to 'Sugar'. Sav returned the gesture and snorted. "So I recall. We even did an acoustic version of that and some others... if you really want to learn such silliness. You'll impress your friends!" he quipped. As in, not.

Setting his dish in the sink, Sav grabbed his earlier purchases and left the kitchen, glancing back at Jani to make sure he was following. They went upstairs, past Sav's room, and down the hall to the next spare bedroom, or rather, the one he used for instruments and practice. "Here we are," he announced. "It's not much, compared to a full studio." The guitars and basses all hung on the wall. There was the original Hamer Blitz, the white Scarab, the Chapparel Max models he'd used for Adrenalize and Slang. Then the Washburns. He also had a Gibson Thunderbird that no one knew about that he'd purchased... what? In memory or something. As for acoustics, there was the acoustic bass and three six-strings, all Gibson. Then the two crappy electric Strats he'd warned Jani about. "Take a look round, choose any. Picks are laying around, you can figure out the amp if you get that far. I gotta pee, be right back."

His nerves had kicked in hard, Sav didn't really know why. Or, he didn't want to admit why. He was fucking intimidated, that was why. Jani had better go easy on him. Sav knew Smoke on the Water. He 'knew' the Metallica song but not how to play it. This could be one hell of a cluster-fuck. 'Right back' turned relative, but he eventually had to reappear. Sav washed his hands, fixed his hair, and told himself to get a grip. To buy an extra few seconds, he took the new ultra-thins and lube to his lair, then returned to the music room.

* * *

Sav led him to the guitar room – and excused himself immediately after more or less apologising for not having a full studio. Well, it was more, way more, than what Jani had at home. Most of Sav's basses weren't even here as they'd be with his equipment for the upcoming tour, yet here Sav still had almost more instruments than Jani even owned.

Jani did as he was bidden. After a quick a look around, he decided against experimenting: for now, he'd stick with guitar, electric. There were two of them, one a blue Tokai Silver Star Strat copy, which should do fine. She was strung with .010 gauge, a little thin for the E flat tuning he preferred, but she was in E anyway. Jani plugged her into a Gallien-Krueger guitar combo and winced: the poor thing was way out of tune and could definitely do with new strings, but it was a start. He couldn't find a tuner, so he went by ear.

It was good to hold a guitar in his hands again and Jani smiled as he breezed through a couple of scales. Yes, she'd do fine, but first things first. He'd always taken care to properly warm up, especially since he'd fractured his finger, so he began a series of stretching exercises. He was through with them and back to scales when Sav returned.

* * *

By then, Jani was practicing some scales, flying fast up and down his fretboard. Sav took a look at his choices, deciding on the granite-painted 5-string because it had good memories attached. On tour, he had his strings changed for every performance but this poor baby hadn't had new ones in forever. He really needed to pay better attention to that. It didn't matter when he wasn't home, but here he was.

Jani's guitar was tuned to E; it took Sav some time to retune. He could do it by ear and harmonics, too, which Jani had. He played some octaves for a bit, messed around with some of the funkier parts from some of the Slang songs, an album most of their fans would rather forget, it seemed. Sav was willing to bet that in ten years, people would go back and say it was ahead of its time. But that was neither here nor there. When Jani took a break and looked over at him, Sav played the bass notes of the opening line for Smoke on the Water.

* * *

Sav grinned at him and took off into Smoke on the Water. Jani grinned back and played the riff, G–B♭–C... – and immediately cringed; power chords weren't invented to be played clean. Looking around, he couldn't see a distortion pedal. Sav raised an eyebrow but Jani shook his head and focused on the amp's front panel. He'd never played a Gallien-Krueger before, but expected it to have some sort of overdrive.

He wasn't disappointed. Not only did it have decent distortion as he found out when he fiddled with the gain, but it also featured a chorus. Maybe they could do something with it later, but for now Jani was happy to continue with Purple's classic.

He resumed the riff, taking his usual wide stance, grinning widely. They were playing at low volume, so he wasn't worried about not wearing ear plugs, nor did he have to shout when he addressed Sav: "You wanna sing or something?"

* * *

Sing? Well, he supposed. It wasn't an instrumental and Sav was more than familiar with the words. "You too, then," he grinned over at Jani. Jani sang back-up for Sonata, and he mentioned side projects. Sav's voice was more suited for backing anyway, but they could figure it out. A few more bars and they hit the cue for the first verse. _We all came out to Montreux... On the Lake Geneva shoreline..."_

* * *

How long had it been that he'd just been jamming, playing for shits and giggles as the saying went if he remembered right? Jani's grin was so wide that it split his face in two. This was so different from his... duty... with Sonata. Nobody was forcing him to play and yet here he was, having the time of his life with a guitar again.

And with Sav.

_To make records with a mobile_  
_We didn't have much time..._

Jani joined Sav's vocals, deciding that they were great together. Then the line he'd just sung hit him. They didn't have much time either...

...which made it even more important to spend it together, doing something they both loved...

_But Frank Zappa and the Mothers..._

He beamed at Sav and decided to improvise on the lyrics:

_WE'RE at the best place around!_

indicating that the best place for him was at Sav's.

* * *

Any idiot could see Jani was having fun, so Sav relaxed and went for it. He loved seeing Jani getting into it, having a good time, singing. They even sounded alright together. When Jani changed the lyric slightly and threw him a huge grin, Sav returned it, since it was deliberate and suggested he thought this place – Sav's – was 'the best place around'. It was for Sav, too, with Jani here.

They finished the verse and moved on to the chorus, where Sav picked out the harmony like he was used to doing. He moved closer to Jani, facing him, both of them in their respective stances as they belted out, _"Smoke... on the water... and fire in the sky!"_ Sav pounded out the simple bass line and leaned back slightly...

No doubt Funky Claude would approve. Why hadn't they done this days ago?

* * *

_"Smoke on the water... A fire in my pants..."_ Jani kept grinning like a loon. They clicked well musically as well as... with everything else. It only occurred to him now that this may not have been the case, but since that catastrophe hadn't happened, he sang the second verse.

_They burned down the gambling house_  
_It died with an awful sound..._

Jani was happy. What could be better than being with someone he was deeply in love with, playing rock! His and Sav's eyes met as they continued the song.

* * *

Jani found another 'alternate' lyric, which cracked Sav up. He wasn't on fire down there yet, thanks to the other fireworks in the garage, but it was sure to happen. No doubt Jani's band or bands messed around like that during practice or on stage – he kept going without skipping a beat, into the next verse.

The beginning of the third line required a grunt. Sav resorted to the half-military hoo-ah, half pure sex that he, Phil and Viv used during the intro of – yeah, fuck, this again – Sugar. And then...

_Funky Claude was running in and out,_  
_Pulling kids down to ground_  
_When it all was over,_  
_We had to find another place._  
_But Swiss time was running out,_  
_It seemed that we would lose the race..._

Sav rather liked clever wordings, such as, 'Swiss time running out'. But he liked watching Jani more. It wasn't really his style of music, but he was so into it, grin splitting his face and eyes shining. What Jani told him was the absolute truth: he was born to play guitar. It was also cool that they had some common ground, as far as musical influences.

He wondered if Jani would sing 'in my pants' again. While Jani had said something about Sav's 'sexy moves' during the faux phone sex, he hadn't elaborated on what moves those might be in his eyes, nor responded one way or the other when Sav had tried to suss it out. Of course, he _had_ had his hand down his pants at the time...

* * *

It was obvious that Sav was watching him, so Jani decided to show off for him. So far, he was basically playing the main riff with power chords and the keyboard harmonies during the verse, where the bass was in the foreground rather than the guitar. They finished the second verse and Jani had another idea to spice up the chorus lyrics: _"Dooooooon't give me water... I like the fire in my pants!"_ Right, now he had a hard, pun intended, time to keep from laughing, but he told himself that he was a professional so he should at least try to behave like one, and the guitar solo was coming up.

Blackmore's part was a classic, of course, and Jani decided to be polite and honour him by copying at least the beginning. It didn't last longer than a few bars, however, and then his fingers took over, flying up and down the fretboard. Years of boredom practicing scales paid off once again when even the 32th notes sounded crystal clear – well, most of them, his pinkie still wasn't back to his previous standards, but the look on Sav's face suggested he was doing an okay job.

* * *

It wasn't the easiest to keep playing and not totally dissolve into laughter, but they had come up here to play – music – so Sav kept it together. Jani's 'fire in my pants' prompted him to roll his hips but it wasn't outrageous and he doubted Jani noticed. Next time, though...

For the first few measures of the solo, Jani kept to the classic. But then he took off and flew though some arpeggios so fast they were dizzying. And yet, not mindless shredding, not random fingering; Jani was deliberate with every note, just that fast. Sav had seen it before, live and on that vid that featured him... his hands wasted no move, they played the strings like the most delicate lover's skin and yeah... fire in Sav's pants, too.

* * *

Losing himself in the music, Jani found it hard to stop improvising. Since there wasn't really any reason to conclude, he just continued. Sav would let him know if he was overdoing it. Then again...

"Bass solo?" he raised his eyebrows and wove a descending scale in triplets until he let it blend into the main riff in a higher octave.

* * *

Sav hesitated, then shook his head. No, as much fun as this was, he wasn't going to make an idiot of himself. Without a drummer to fall back on he was carrying the rhythm section, such as it was. Maybe if they got around to playing some Leppard.

Instead... what was iconic for bass? He waved his hands, signalling he was changing it up, nodded his head, counted off, "Gunter glieben glauten globen" slower, but instead ran down the opening to Cream's "Sunshine of your Love." That should be easy enough for Jani, too.

_It's getting near dawn_  
_And lights close their tired eyes_  
_I'll soon be with you, my love_  
_To give you my dawn surprise..._

Oh wow. Despite the funky bass line and guitar which was mostly the same through the verse, it was awfully mushy. Well, one way to fix that. Sav shuffled closer, and sang to Jani, or 'at' him, and he was most certainly moving, or something. Exotic dancer? They weren't even drinking or taking anything, but he felt intoxicated.

* * *

Jani continued to play the rhythm and smiled at Sav, but his lover shook his head. Instead, he said something in a language Jani had never heard but sounded like counting off, then started a bass line Jani knew he'd heard before but couldn't quite place. Iron Butterfly's piece with the weird name? No, wait, this was... Clapton... Cream, right. Sav was already singing when Jani caught up; power chords again for now, they always fit while he figured out the rest.

He was totally clueless when it came to the lyrics, though, not sure if he could even remember enough of the melody to la-la-la along, let alone the words – okay, the chorus should work, _something something Sunshine of your loooooove_ – and the same held for the structure of the song, how many verses and all that. He could, of course, improvise on a blues scale, but he didn't know when there'd be a solo slot and he didn't want to interrupt Sav, who obviously knew the song.

The easiest way was to follow Sav's lead, of course, and Jani would do just that. Also... he smirked. Sav had picked the song, so it was only fair that he also took care of the solo, like Bruce – if the little Jani knew about the guy – would have. Thinking of it, that was probably the reason why Sav had picked the song in the first place, as reaction to Jani nudging him toward a bass solo in a song he seemed to feel more familiar or at ease with than with Purple's classic.

* * *

The tempo was beginning to speed. That was probably okay. Sav had seen a couple of Cream's live performances on youtube and they always sped up during the song. He'd never been the improv type, every note needed to be in his mind ahead of time, and if he dropped a few, so be it. This, now, maybe due to not rehearsing, not planning, he didn't mind throwing in a few octaves and extra notes. Maybe if Jani took off into something crazy he could follow suit.

Then it happened. Sav didn't know how but he dropped his pick. As he'd told almost every interviewer he'd ever talked to, he didn't like playing with his fingers, it didn't sound as good. Later he could blame it on Jack Bruce for fingerpicking, but somehow, he found he could 'hear' – and play – sixteenth notes and hammer-ons and triplets like he wouldn't dare try on stage, where nerves so often defeated him. He was up on frets he probably hadn't touched since the end of the Adrenalize tour and it was exhilarating. It also probably wasn't rock or blues; Sav didn't know what he was doing but it felt so... damned... good...

* * *

Sav had looked hesitant in the beginning, but then it appeared as if suddenly a switch was thrown in him and his playing underwent a 180 degree turn – maybe because he lost his pick? In that case, Jani vowed that whenever they'd play or jam together in the future, he'd make sure that not a single pick remained at any place in the house where Sav could find it.

For now, however, he watched with delight as Sav began to shred, there was no other way to name it. When he'd watched Def Leppard's live performances on youtube and, in hindsight, in Milan, Jani had wondered if he was putting on a show, pandering to the audience, or losing himself in the music like Jani did once he'd managed to overcome his stage terror and was out there. What he was seeing now left no doubt in him that Sav wasn't putting on a show. This was pure passion. Also, as his lover was no longer holding back, Jani found him much more skilled than what could be observed in the recordings.

He continued to play the rhythm to provide the foundation for Sav in a thrilling role reversal – which would have been impossible with Make. Jani quickly pushed the question back to the darkest region of his head whether Sav would agree to a role reversal not only in music but also in bed. This wasn't the time for such thoughts although Jani found that Sav, sex beast though he was, radiating liberation in his playing, had never appeared as attractive to him as he did now.

Unfortunately, although he was hard, Jani doubted that he was ready to perform again so soon after their... romp... in the garage. On the flip side, this fact would allow him to enjoy this side of Sav for another while.

* * *

Sav didn't know how long he went on, just feeling it. For a while, he had his eyes closed. Eventually, he wore out the riffs and became conscious of Jani still playing rhythm in the same chord progression he'd picked up from watching Sav, although he surely had heard the song before. There was one more verse and chorus; Sav picked up the established bass line again.

When he looked over at Jani, he couldn't be sure of what he was seeing in the guitarist's expression. At least, he didn't suck. Sav had heard what was coming out of that amp, and he was surprised at himself, to say the least. Why couldn't he do that on top of, say, Photograph, or one of the covers they'd done for Yeah? Was he really that scared of what his band would think? Well, not Rick... he wished Rick was here right now, in fact. They needed a drummer. But the others... he could just see a row of 'too polite to say it but you're out of your mind' expressions if he suggested this type of jamming.

They banged out the end of the song, then Sav rode his E string, waiting for Jani to suggest what to do next.

* * *

Eventually, Sav resumed the verse and they concluded the song with a short and what he'd call 'painless' run up and down the pentatonic scale. Sav looked a little confused, as if he were surprised by his own actions. It was... no, he couldn't say that out loud, but 'cute' was the word that sprang to Jani's mind.

"I had no idea that you're a secret, er, blues brother," he laughed instead. "Man, you're saving me from boredom while you're on tour, I'll check out some of that sixties and seventies stuff so I can catch up with you!"

* * *

"Yeah, cool... I can email you a song list or something. I always wanted to learn more of that genre, this kind of music..." Touring could be boring too, as Jani well knew. Besides missing and jonesing for his significant other, it would be a good change to have a musical focus. Sav didn't doubt extra practice would help his 'real' job, too.

"You'll probably catch up in a day. But I should learn some of what you like, too. Got anything easy to start with, that you can walk me through the notes?" The Sonata bassist, Marko or Make as Jani called him, was certainly adequate or they wouldn't keep him. The strange thing was that Sav hardly heard him – he must follow the guitar or keyboard parts closely. That took some skill too, if they got wild. "Sonata or otherwise," he added.

* * *

"That list would be welcome," Jani said and grinned. "I may even promise to practice. As for what I like, well, since you said Sonata or otherwise, if you really want Sonata, I can show you, of course, but..." he grimaced. Sonata for him, at least right now, was work. Trying to think of a suitable song from another band he liked, Jani ran his hand through his hair. 

Wasn't it just typical? He had his head full of music, all the time, but now that he wanted to find a song he liked – and Sav had asked for 'easy' – he couldn't think of a single one. No, worse, actually: even the Sonata songs that came to his mind weren't exactly easy... So what then, Strato maybe? If Sav hadn't asked to learn something and could Jani walk him through, Jani would have just started playing... something. Now that he'd begun to think about it, however...

He frowned. In the beginning of his career when he'd been asked if he could teach someone guitar he'd tried, but soon discovered that not only was he too impatient but he also found it difficult to explain what he did mostly by intuition. If he heard a song, he just _knew_ how to play it. Sure, he could play the bass lines of the Sonata songs, but that didn't mean he could teach them to Sav.

Okay, this wasn't going to work. Maybe another approach was called for. "Which of Sonata's songs do you know, or, better, which ones do you like?"

* * *

He was probably asking for trouble. If he couldn't manage, he'd be embarrassed. "Do you think you could teach me Replica?" Sav asked.

* * *

Jani thought for a moment. It was actually a nice song and he'd say the bass part qualified as easy. "Sure," he said. It wasn't what he'd originally had in mind – just playing something without thinking about it – and it would help pass the time until they could have sex again... Shut up, brain, Jani told himself.

"Okay," he said loud. "We're in d minor. The intro and the beginning have only guitar – and vocals – if we ignore the keyboard. Bass joins half-way through the first verse. Do you have an idea already how to play it?"

* * *

"Um... not so much." Damn, he should have picked something else. As if he could just play that sort of thing without a lot of study. But then Sav had an idea. "Maybe we should go watch the DVD for a minute again and you can tell me... while it's going...? And I'll try to watch whoever's hands, yours or Marko's..." He still wondered if Jani had a better idea, or wanted to suggest a song, but then he had asked.

* * *

"I doubt that the DVD will be of much help," Jani shook his head. "The camera is mostly on Tony. Except, of course, when he's messing with me and pretending to miss his cue, and they took that part focusing on me as I almost fall off of the monitor from laughing so hard, but that won't give you any clues as to Make's playing. But we could put the song on anyway, I have it on my computer. I could take another of your basses, play the line and you could watch me..." No, wait, they'd have to tune down for that... Or he could transpose the song on his laptop half a step up. It would sound a little off but for practice purposes he thought they could live with it. Yes, that would work.

"Shall I get my laptop?"

* * *

He'd really opened a can of worms now. "You know what, that's too much work for just having fun." Sav tried for an ironic expression. "I'll work on it while I'm on tour. And if I get stuck, I'll get a hold of you. Is there bass tab for it online somewhere, do you know offhand? I can look that up, too. What can we do instead... Back in Black? 20th Century Boy?" Sav doubted he could imitate Joe's "balls caught in a vise" scream, but that one was fresh. AC/DC was a good standby for just about any band that considered itself rock or metal.

"Or we could go mellow... plenty of those. Momma I'm Comin' Home by Ozzy, or G'n'R's Patience?" If Jani wanted the last, he'd switch to acoustic.

* * *

Okay, not the right answer obviously. "I can write you a tab," Jani offered. He wondered if Sav wanted to continue playing at all. Maybe the suggestion to watch the DVD had been a hint that he wanted to stop? Had he suggested the songs merely out of politeness, hoping that Jani would like to play one of them?

Jani decided to give it another try. "Since you mentioned Ozzy, how about this one?" He grinned and broke into Paranoid.

* * *

Jani broke into a familiar riff, and Sav followed along easily enough. He hadn't played that one in a very long time but there was enough memory to go on. "'Paranoid'... Perfect!" he crowed, then they both sang,

_Finished with my woman 'case she couldn't help me with my life..._

That might be more true for Jani than himself considering fairly recent history.

_People think I'm insane because I am frowning all the time._  
_All day long I think of things but nothing seems to satisfy..._

From now on, Sav had an idea, nothing and no one was going to satisfy like this man across from him. He wasn't dumb enough – dumb bass player, he thought ruefully – to think that hanging so much of his hope on a new relationship, to put his eggs all in that one basket, was good for him. But he felt what he felt. Jani was grinning again, as was Sav, and everything was right.

* * *

They whizzed through the song, both of them singing. Jani decided to not overdo the solo, the purpose was to play together, after all, and although he'd love to see and hear Sav lose himself in the music again Jani didn't want him to feel pressured into a bass solo. Still, when he finished his own solo part and returned to play the final verse, he waited what Sav would do, sing or play.

* * *

They were back to the same question: what song next? "Do you know any Zeppelin? Ramble On or Street Corner Girl?" Sav asked. He played the first part of the chorus, under the _hey hey what can I say_ part. "I gotta boy wanna bone all day," he quipped, dropping his eyes to where Jani was hidden behind his guitar. Everyone in Leppard slung their guitars fairly low, and the strap was adjusted to the length Sav was comfortable with. He'd noticed Jani strapped his a bit higher, but since this was hardly a gig, he was making do just fine. Sav grinned and rolled his hips once against the back of the bass.

* * *

"The song you want is 'Kingdom for a hard-on,'" Jani burst out laughing before he could stop himself. "Um, or maybe not, or later, the harmonies are a bit tricky. But how about we try something new? I'm warmed up now, what about you, any ideas for a song?" He grinned. _"Our song."_

* * *

"I hope I'm not that old yet," Sav snorted, "or if I am, that Viagra still works in whatever the world becomes."

Their song... Sav's immediately went to the various Def Leppard songs that were suggestive, and were not ballads: Ride into the Sun, Let it Go, Animal, Tear it Down... but that was his dirty mind, not them. It probably shouldn't be a song from either of their bands. He might be taking the question too seriously. "I dunno... the Metallica, Nothing Else Matters...? It made sense before. It still does. What do you think?"

If Jani had something else in mind, Sav couldn't begin to read it. "There's always Titties and Beer, I suppose. Not that we've ever discussed sharing a woman and you're trying to cut back so..." he blushed. Damn, his mouth. That was cutting too close to things that like sleeping dogs, should be left to lie.

* * *

"Titties and...? What the...?" If Jani had actually had a beer in his hand right now, he'd have sputtered it all over Sav's guitar room – and suddenly he wanted one, badly.

_No,_ Jani told himself. He knew he was going to get drunk prior to the gig in Imatra, but he wouldn't give in to temptation before that. He could do this.

"I understand that you don't mean the actual real thing. Things. But maybe we should go for something different still. So, Nothing else Matters then." When Jani had suggested they try something new he'd thought of new in terms of composing, but he was happy to follow Sav's lead.

* * *

Thank god Jani didn't question him. Sav chalked it up to the language barrier and how fast he'd been talking. The titties reference had the desired effect: Jani blurted in surprise and Sav smirked. "Things!" he repeated, when Jani referred to tits like that, only to correct himself to plural.

"If you know the words, then you must know how the song starts. I'm afraid I don't. Can you lead off? I know it's melodic. I'll follow as best I can." If Sav remembered, Newstead played with a pick, but Trujillo didn't. He didn't reach for another just yet.

* * *

"Sure." Should he choose – or pick, ha! – the picking part or the chords? It didn't, well, _matter_ for the first verse so he had time to decide, Jani thought to himself. Neither were a challenge – if the Smoke-on-the-Water riff was the first thing most guitarists had probably learned to play first, picking Nothing else Matters was a likely second song to learn. The bass part was easy enough, too, yet Sav looked insecure.

"Let's keep it basic for starters," Jani said. "Intro, I'll pick and sing the first verse. If you wanna come in with bass for the first chorus, just stick with the roots, C–A–D, and leave the rest to me. Uh, do you want the live version or studio?"

* * *

"Live, since here we are, live." Sav got the feeling he should know the song, and yeah, it was true, but he didn't and all he could do now was learn it. C–A–D, Jani started them off and he sang along while watching the guitarist's hands on the fretboard. Sav found his fingers on the strings after the first two lines of the first verse almost out of necessity, and playing the root notes wasn't enough. He loosened up, going by ear, played it E-D-C, with the 5th thrown in once, in the verse.

These lyrics were going to get to him, be it the upcoming separation or what was already their history. He seriously doubted Hetfield had written these words about falling in love with another man: they could be about anyone, or not even necessarily about love. Still, they seemed to personify, embody, what was between himself and Jani. Some of it was a little too generic. Could they do better, themselves? Should they even try?

* * *

Right, live. If Jani's memory served him, that version had an a minor or F major 7 chord instead of the A major of the original. Sav played along and as Jani was singing he was beginning to fear that his voice would give out when the lines hit a little too close to home; practically the entire lyrics fit in some way or another to their situation. If he read the expression on Sav's face right, Jani wasn't the only one who was affected.

He closed his eyes when he launched into the solo, for once not going for speed – as much as he loved to shred, he somehow felt that this was different. He'd played the song before, had played the solo before, both Hetfield's version and his own, which he thought fit the song better, but today was... different.

Half way through the solo, Jani's fingers stalled on the fretboard. "I," he swallowed, "please, can we play something else? I can't... Sorry."

* * *

Jani went into a solo that was much different than what Sav had seen of him performing either live, or on videos. His eyes were closed, face somehow tense... if Sav had to guess, Jani was having the same difficulties keeping it together that he himself had. Why was he so emotional? He had learned to hide that side of himself well, but in Jani's presence sometimes it took over.

In the middle of the solo, Jani missed a few notes and then stopped, asking if they could play something else. "Yeah, that might be a good idea," Sav answered, clearing his throat. He turned his volume knob all the way down, drew the bass over his head, laid it on the nearest chair, and went around Jani where he was almost swaying on his feet and slid his arms around him from behind. "It's kind of... too much..."

* * *

Sav got it. When Jani couldn't play anymore, Sav stopped, too. Jani's eyes were closed so he didn't see what was going on but when he felt Sav's warmth behind him, his arms hugging him from behind, Jani wasn't surprised. A part of him wanted to set the Tokai down so he could turn around and throw himself into the embrace, but another part of him couldn't let go of her, needed to hold on to her because otherwise he'd lose it completely, so he kept his left hand curled around her neck. "Sav," Jani whispered, eyes still closed, as he leaned back against the man he loved.

* * *

"Mmm..." Sav didn't trust his voice not to crack or otherwise give out. Or, he didn't want to say the wrong thing and ruin it. Since Jani showed no indication of moving even to put the guitar down, he just stood there and held Jani, supported him, sometimes holding him tighter or looser.

Here in this same room, only about a week before, Sav had had some kind of minor breakdown thinking he'd never have Jani as his own. And now he had him. Or did he? Jani was flame; how do you hold fire? But Jani was also a person, a man, and holding him like Sav was now was very real. They continued to stand there in front of the faintly buzzing amp, their breathing syncing, otherwise molded together like a living statue. Finally Sav turned his head and kissed Jani's carotid pulse; the side of his neck. Jani could break away, or ask for more. Or neither.

* * *

They stood without moving for an indeterminable interval. Then Sav's lips touched his pulse point and began to infinitely gently kiss it. Jani hardly dared to breathe. He already knew that what he felt for Sav was different. Jani had been in love before and he thought he'd loved before, but what he felt for Sav and what he also knew with a certainty that he'd swear by his life on it was that Sav felt the same in return. There were no words for it. He'd caught glimpses of this emotion before but he'd been too terrified to allow himself to admit to it.

Jani swallowed and opened his eyes. "Sav," he said, his voice shaking with emotion. "We're so screwed."

* * *


	4. Sap and (more) sex

* * *

"We are... so screwed." Screwed, fucked, boned. They'd done it to themselves. Either of them could have said no or put a stop to the desperate magnetism. Sav bent his head again. He was barely kissing Jani's warm skin, mostly brushing his lower lip along it. "Dunno how... how I'm gonna..." he choked, and whispered, "I don't think I can live through being away from you." But he had to. Even if Sav quit his band today, Jani still had to go back to Finland, or pay the consequences for the rest of his life. "We're in so deep... and all I want is more."

* * *

Jani could only nod. Becoming aware of the full weight and significance of what was happening between them he suddenly thought he felt too weary to keep on his feet for even another minute. Sav had his arms slung around him, and he'd hold Jani up, but there was also the guitar to consider that Jani was still clinging to.

"What's her name?" Jani asked urgently. He had to know.

* * *

Sav felt his eyebrows – eyebrow – shoot up. 'Her' name? Where had that come from?

"I'm sorry... who?"

* * *

"Your guitar." The apology for such a silly question was already on Jani's tongue, but he had to know.

* * *

"Um..." For one thing, if Sav had to assign gender, his guitars were male. Jani felt this one was a woman. Maybe he was right. He had certainly made 'her' sing more than Sav ever had. "You should name... her," he finally said. "She's long overdue."

* * *

Sav hesitated before referring to the guitar as 'her'. That she didn't have a name made Jani think that maybe Sav didn't name his instruments. He couldn't explain it, but this guitar was special to him now: She'd been the witness of the revelation he'd just had, and Jani knew immediately the only name that was appropriate.

"Rakas," he said softly. "It means beloved." He blinked and continued very quietly, "I... All this... us... has me scared like no one can imagine. I seem to need a proxy to express myself. Let her name be what I feel for you..." Jani knew he was being pathetic but he couldn't help it. "I'm sorry."

* * *

"Rakas," repeated Sav. He couldn't pronounce his 'r' like that but it would have to do. "Beloved. She... bore witness." He held on to Jani tighter. What did that mean, he needed to use a proxy? The guitar spoke for him? Sav could only wish he was talented enough to be able to communicate like that.

"Please don't apologise, for being scared, or any of your feelings." They could talk about it, but they didn't have to. Words were so inadequate anyway. The expanding heat and speeding heartbeat in his chest, the 'feeling' of how much he cared about Jani, wanted him, wished all good things for him, encompassed his heart and mind; what was an I love you compared to that? "It's a fine name. You're my _rakas."_

* * *

"I'm not apologising for being scared or for my feelings," Jani said softly. "This 'sorry' is more that I wish I could express what can't be put into words without sounding ridiculous." He thought for a moment. "I've told my girlfriends in the past that I loved them, and I did. What I feel for you is... different. More. I don't have words for it, not in English and not in Finnish either. But maybe in music. And that's why she..."

He ran his hand over the Tokai's fretboard; it felt like a caress. "She helped me... speak. Or whatever you may call it. And for that she deserves to be loved." Jani knew he wasn't making any sense. He turned his head so he could – finally – meet Sav's eyes.

"You're my rakas," he whispered. "Minun rakkaani. While I say the words, she expresses what I really feel for you."

* * *

"If she helped you express yourself with a song that's already been written, she could also help you speak your own true..." Not words, feelings or notes. More. They were both experienced song writers in their professional lives. Sav had enjoyed the privilege of his own band's esteem in that regard; Jani had taken on side projects to give himself creative means.

"Maybe... our song hasn't been made yet. It's there in your hands, and in... her." That wasn't to exclude Sav's possible input, should such a thing ever see the light of day. They knew now their – singing – voices meshed compatibly just as their bodies did and... what they could write, if only they had the time!

* * *

"It's in our hearts," Jani whispered. "Our song." He was beginning to calm down a little. "One day..." Not sure what he was about to say, Jani interrupted himself. 'One day' wasn't in their near future. They stood in silence for another minute, listening to each others' breathing, feeling their heartbeats.

"Sav," Jani eventually began, "I don't want you to let go of me but could you, just for a second, so I can turn around to hug you back."

* * *

As much as he didn't want to step away and lose the feel of Jani against him for even one second, Sav wanted his active participation more. "Yeah... please." He loosened his arms and moved back a little, hoping Jani would set the guitar down so they wouldn't be impeded in holding each other.

* * *

Sav released him. Jani set 'Rakas' in her stand and switched off the amp before turning back to Sav. He didn't say anything as he walked up to him. Sav opened his arms and Jani melted into them, slinging his arms around Sav's waist and burying his face against Sav's neck. Inhaling his scent, basking in his warmth should have been enough but it wasn't.

"Can we go to the bedroom? I need to feel all of you," Jani whispered. "I'm not even speaking of sex, just feeling you, your skin on mine, being close to you."

* * *

A moment later, Sav got both arms full of Jani, and he pressed himself close. He was almost shaking, the rush of emotions making him want to crush them into one, but of course he would do nothing to hurt either of them. A meeting of the minds, besides bodies. But with Jani, that happened. It was 'them'.

"Wanna lay with you..." Sav let go long enough to take Jani's hand. They left the music room, then walked down the hall to Sav's lair. There, his bed awaited. Frankly, Sav doubted it would not turn into sex, but starting with simply revelling in each other's presence suited him. Letting go of Jani's hand, he pulled his shirt off.

* * *

Jani followed Sav to his bedroom, never letting go of his hand. The first thing he noticed was that Sav must have put fresh sheets on the bed earlier after stripping the old ones for laundry. It was a relief that they didn't have to take care of this right now when laying down, skin on skin, was so urgent.

They stripped off their clothes in record time. Before, they'd enjoyed undressing each other, but now Jani didn't have the patience for that and Sav seemed to have read his thoughts. Less than two minutes after leaving the guitar room, they crawled between the sheets, pressing into each others' arms, wrapping their legs around each other to maximise skin contact.

Jani was hard and so was Sav, but surprisingly, although Jani knew that this would end with sex sooner or later, right now he just wanted to feel Sav against him. "So good," he whispered. "This is perfect." Jani smiled.

* * *

They watched each other undress. It wasn't showing off. More like, revealing themselves. Jani's form and features were becoming more familiar now, but Sav still liked looking at him, caressing his lover with his eyes as his skin was exposed a piece at a time. His arms, his chest, where maybe he'd always be bruised and puffy when they spent time together. Jani hadn't liked comments about his arse, but that didn't stop Sav from admiring the shape and obvious muscularity. The thighs... he might just drool. No surprise, Jani had an erection which stood up proud and hard from his groin as a sign of how into this he was. Since beginning to shed his clothes, Sav had felt himself getting hard, too. It was a natural response, desire for the one he loved.

They didn't wait, but crawled into the bed as soon as every piece of clothing was on the floor. "Mmm god yeah... so good..." Sav groaned, they settled with minute shifts. "Jani..." He stopped himself from any declarations. 'Rakas' had been enough. It was skin on skin, twined together. "I wanna touch every inch of you before we're done..." His hands had already begun exploring, one up Jani's spine, the other between then sliding across Jani's sternum to stroke the raised, tight nub. Then he stilled, mostly, and looked into Jani's eyes. The pupils weren't all the way blown, not yet. Jani had said that he wanted to _feel_ , and by god, that's what Sav would give him, if he could.

* * *

Jani had felt uncomfortable under Sav's admiring eyes. Now that they were in bed and his body was hidden under the sheet, he wondered why: Jani admired Sav's body, too, so why did it bother him that Sav liked what he saw – and what he felt, as Sav's hands were tracing over him, exploring, feeling him. Raising his eyes to meet Sav's, Jani smiled, then gasped when a hand found his nipple and stroked it gently.

"Sav," he whispered, "I want you to make love to me."

* * *

Sav smiled. That particular turn of phase had never made sense to him, although he did understand intellectually what was meant to represent. If anything, the expression was, as with so many English wordings, painfully inadequate. Between him and Jani, there was most certainly love involved in the act now, although the purely sexual heat they generated was nearly overpowering. "I will... I am," he said.

They were mostly covered by the bedding but it made Sav more acutely aware of their contact below it. Though it was subtle, little more than certain muscles tensing and shifting, they were already moving in an instinctive rhythm. He could make out the surges of blood in Jani's erection where it was pressed against his. Lower, their balls were almost mashed together, and Sav relished the other man's... maleness. He pulled Jani closer yet, kissing along the ridge of his collarbone. That had been an unexpected hot spot earlier, but he needed the real thing.

"I need to kiss you," Sav rasped. His hips jerked once as he took Jani's mouth. He'd meant to be gentle, but as soon as he felt mobile, pliable lips against his, it quickly turned fierce on his part, like the intense feelings of just a few minutes before, and continuing, were manifesting in his body with an unstoppable urgency. And yet, he wanted it sweet, wanted it to never end. Somehow, Sav reined himself in enough to where he didn't just roll Jani onto his back and have him. His tongue unfurled into Jani's oral cavity, tasted him, licked his teeth and tongue and claimed dominance, though Sav had no doubt that could change in a heartbeat. His fingers still tracing the hard little nipple pinched but not painfully. Sliding his other hand all the way down Jani's spine, he cupped one of those cheeks, idly stroking the peachy skin.

When he had to draw back for air, he looked into his lover's eyes again, for any clue on how he wished to be... made love to. Sav, in opposition to the need to fuck and rut that his body was already demanding, wanted to do something else, wanted it badly. "Can I suck you... not off, but for a little while?"

* * *

Shivering a little when Sav kissed his collarbone, Jani's shivering increased a lot when Sav announced that he needed to kiss him, and followed through. A moment ago, Jani had thought they'd enjoy their simmering desire without the heat flaring up to an incendiary level yet, but as soon as Sav's lips touched his that thought went out of the window. Sav's tongue claimed his mouth and Jani yielded, moaning and gasping under the demanding kiss and the fingers that worked his nipples, pinching harder with his growing arousal.

When Sav broke the kiss and asked him something, it took Jani a moment to get his brain back into working order. "What..." Did he want Sav to suck him? "Hell, yeah!" he exclaimed belatedly, then another thought struck him. "Can I, you too?"

* * *

At first, Sav wondered if Jani was going to decline his offer, and if so, why. Wrong place, wrong time? Too close already? Not wanting to slow down and sidetrack? Not deliberately outright but because neither of them had been willing to come and have it be over, they had engaged in some of what people might call edging before, mostly Sav giving Jani the benefit of his skills but not always.

He needn't have worried. The enthusiastic response followed by a counter-offer to reciprocate nearly overloaded him. "Can't even remember the last time I 69'd." Sav nearly laughed. It was such a porno thing to do. Also, hot as fuck. "Meaning yeah, right the fuck now!"

Unlacing his legs from Jani's, Sav kissed Jani one more time, deep and searching, before tossing back the covers. He may as well be the one to turn around, he decided. A moment later, he had his face in Jani's crotch, extending his tongue to lick away the sweet slick wetting the head of his dick. "Taste so good! ...Both of us on our sides or...?"

* * *

Jani wasn't surprised that Sav obviously welcomed his suggestion. It took only a few seconds and Sav had turned around. Before Jani could say anything, Sav licked across his crown and hot tendrils of lust ripped through Jani's body. "Oh yes, yes," he moaned as he barely managed to not thrust into Sav's mouth. Sav said it tasted good, but...

_"Feels_ good, oh gawd, Sav!" More licking steadily drained the blood from Jani's brain. When Sav suggested they lay on their sides, Jani followed his lead, more automatically than purposefully; with the hormones and desire running rampant through him it was easier to go with whatever Sav suggested than think for himself. Besides, Jani was sure that what he wanted was the same Sav wanted. Except...

"I... I've never done this before," he said, "so if I do anything you don't like you'll have to tell me." At the same time, Jani vowed that he'd do all he could so Sav wouldn't find a reason to complain but lose himself in ecstasy, just like Jani was doing under Sav's skilled tongue.

From the few times he'd had his mouth on Sav's dick and years of being blown by women Jani had a pretty good idea what Sav liked, but again, the easiest way was to follow his lover's lead. Sav had licked across Jani's crown and lapped at the fluids running from his slit, so Jani mimicked that. He ran his tongue over the tip of Sav's erection, savouring the taste and kissing the slit, and kept repeating it, waiting for Sav's next move.

* * *

"Aw, Jani..." The precaution was hardly necessary. Other than biting or just being lazy, neither of which seemed likely, Sav doubted Jani could do anything he wouldn't like. He paused for a second, licked all the way around the ridge and added, "Just do to me, whatever you like done to you and it'll be great. And... you want anything I'm not doing... ask."

Of course, he'd been blown by so many different people, too many, the various groupies from years ago forming an amalgam. Seeing Jani doing that for him, the faintly raspy slide of his tongue, his look of concentration because he was still inexperienced with being on the giving end of the equation, it all added to the fire in Sav's heart and in his balls.

He took in air. He'd need it. Despite various self-deprecating comments, Jani wasn't hung as tiny as he seemed to think, and he was so, so hard, the skin movable but underneath, like steel. First wrapping one hand around the base, Sav enfolded the head, careful of his teeth; he wasn't used to this angle, either. He swirled his tongue a few times, till he felt a similar action being done to him. The millions of nerve endings screamed their approval; Sav groaned and stopped himself from jamming his hips forward. Instead, he worked more and more of Jani's hard-on into his mouth, sucking on it, licking, sliding the 'skin with his hands and lips.

* * *

Jani continued to lick Sav, then he wrapped his lips around the head, took him in as far as he could – which was a little further than the last time he'd tried it – and suckled: Sav had suggested to 'suck', not 'suck him off', and Jani would take the opportunity to experiment, to see what Sav liked best, but he wouldn't suck hard for now.

Sliding his tongue under the collar of foreskin, Jani tasted along the ridge. Sav had told him to do what he liked best himself. Jani wasn't sure what exactly had been done to him that he'd liked best in the past because he hadn't been able to see what was going on when the other person had his dick deep in their mouth, but he had a few ideas and this was one of them.

While he waited for Sav's reaction, he thought that there were a few things he wanted to ask but he wasn't sure how Sav would take to them, so for now he decided to keep his mouth shut – literally and figuratively – and continue what he was doing. Everything else could wait.

* * *

That slick tongue slid under his foreskin, which Jani had tugged up over the corona of his glans, and Sav blurted in surprise. He'd rarely if ever had this maneuver done to him; he got the feeling, that rock star or not, most women considered this rather filthy. "Oh my god that feels so fucking good," he slurred, when he came up for air. He'd told Jani to do what felt good to him, and this was what he'd done first so he must love it. Sav took Jani in his mouth again and attempted to replicate the action. He was moaning, deep in his chest, sucking that thin lip of skin up, and then he too wiggled his tongue tip underneath.

Saliva filled his mouth, and he found himself licking that musky taste from hidden surfaces, as much as he could get. He gathered Jani's balls into his other hand, just holding the tight glands. He continued along the ridge, all the way around. Jani seemed to like quick little swipes of Sav's tongue best, and he went for it. Slowly, he slid the foreskin down, still licking and tickling what he knew that, nipples aside, would be the most sensitive area on Jani's body. He tried to respond to the small moans and twitches that provided clues to Jani's preferences. Fluid coated his tongue, almost a trickle at times. He swallowed it down along with his own spit, sucking harder. Easing his lips further down the shaft, he glided back, then down again, raising his eyes but he couldn't see Jani's face like this. It was all touch.

* * *

If Jani had initially intended to copy whatever Sav was doing on him, it seemed that the roles were now reversed. Sav's tongue wiggled under his foreskin and licked and teased with the taste buds stimulating the ridge. Jani could barely stop his head from thrashing as he moaned around Sav's erection. He could feel fluid squirting from his slit in a series of mini-orgasms that were the start of a powerful build-up.

It was incredibly good. It was also a bit of a problem as they'd, not in words but still, agreed to make this last. In the past, Jani had prided himself on his stamina. He'd done this 69 thing with women and although it had been scorching hot with some, holding back had never been an issue for him. With Sav, however, what the man did to him was so arousing that Jani was afraid he couldn't keep focused on Sav's pleasure while enjoying his own.

"Sav," he moaned when he let go for a moment, "I'm not sure this is working. You're... It's too good, if you know what I mean."

* * *

When Jani came up for air again, his words were a raw moan. Despite himself, Sav couldn't help a touch of pride at how wrecked he'd made his lover already. He immediately backed off, though. "Then it's working, just not as intended," he cracked. "I'd apologise but, well..."

"Should we take turns instead?" he suggested, taking his hands off Jani and getting up on his – right – elbow. "If you need a break." After all, this was a 25-year-old, whose libido, in theory, would be much more rampant than that of a man in his 40's.

Sav could hold on fine – for now. Who knew what move Jani would show him next? While acutely aware that he'd been asked and agreed to, as Jani put it, make love to him, Sav decided that his methods might be too direct at times, and asking his partner to perform on him for a bit was just as take-charge. "The tongue, foreskin thing is insanely hot. Would you... do it again...? And... I can tolerate a heavier touch." Hopefully Jani remembered that from the other night and didn't think Sav found him lacking. The dusky colour, raised veins and thickening base of his erection certainly said otherwise.

* * *

Laughing at Sav's comment that it was working, just not as they'd intended, Jani agreed immediately to taking turns. Maybe he'd even gather enough courage to ask for...

The thought was cut short when Sav found a way to praise him indirectly, so that Jani didn't feel uncomfortable and yet knew he was doing well. "I'll be insanely happy to do it again," he beamed. "And since you make it sound as if the goal has changed from sucking to sucking off, I'll be equally happy to, um, handle you a bit more firmly."

He sat up to kiss Sav. "You wanna lay on your back or are you better on your side?"

* * *

Sav could taste himself a little when Jani kissed him. Not quite as sweet, but Jani wasn't grossed out and that was all that mattered. "For now, I'll stay right here," he quickly decided. "Easier to switch off. If it happens, it happens, but I don't wanna come off this way. It... it's just foreplay. Good as it is, I wanna feel all of you, see you, when I – we – come. I'll let you know when I need you to stop."

Then he shrugged. There was probably no point in trying to plan. Once Jani got his hands and mouth on him again, there was no telling how it would to. He kind of hoped Jani would take him close with this and then not let him come, but that was a fine line. Reaching out carefully, Sav laid his hand along the side of Jani's face, stroking his thumb across his lips. He then trailed his fingers lower, encouraging without words for Jani to go down on him again.

* * *

It would have been more familiar had Sav decided to lie on his back like he'd done the other day, but Jani knew from two minutes ago that this would work, too. Grinning to himself, he thought he was quickly gaining experience here. Then Sav announced that he didn't want to come off this way, which threw a spanner in Jani's plan. If he was being honest with himself, though, it saved him from asking for something he wasn't sure he could do anyway, so it was all turning out in his favour.

Sav stroked his face and Jani leaned into the caressing hand for a moment, then kissed Sav's fingers and proceeded to suckle on each tip. "Just giving you an idea what I'm about to do," he smiled. After sealing his promise with another kiss to Sav's lips, he scooted down until he found himself face to... well, not face, obviously – could one say face to dick with someone's dick? Jani suppressed a giggle and pushed the thought aside to ask Sav later. Right now, something else was on his agenda and he wouldn't be deterred from it.

Sav had said he wanted a heavier touch, which Jani would give him in a second, but he'd still start out slow and gentle to ease himself back into it. He wrapped his right hand around the base of Sav's quivering erection and traced the vein on the hard shaft with his left fingertips until he reached the crown. Sliding the foreskin up and down over the ridge with his thumb and forefinger, Jani licked into the wet little slit, sampling Sav's offering.

"Mmmhhhh..."

* * *

Jani kissing and sucking on his fingertips made Sav's breathing hitch; he panted through his open mouth. Such a tease! His jewels were beginning to tighten and ache already. After a short pause during which Jani seemed to visually inspect his junk, which Sav found cute after spending chunks of time naked and hard together, the guitarist wrapped one hand around him, holding firmly, a perfect grip that a man would know to use to hold him in check but allow the overlying skin to slide, which he did again, this time with his fingers. Sav's hips jerked a little each time Jani allowed it to slip back over the ridge; he let moans of pure pleasure loose from his throat.

A warm, wet tongue lapped his head and squiggled into the slit caressing nearly untouched nerves. Sav hissed, "Yessssss, oh...!" Jani seemed to like the taste of his slick, humming like he'd been fed something rich and delicious. Moving slowly, Sav extended his legs and arched his back while remaining on his side to give Jani access. Drops of fluid seeped out, like Jani was coaxing its appearance. "So good...!" He hoped the redhead wouldn't mind having his hair played with; Sav threaded his fingers into the long, soft strands and combed through it. Jani wore an earring in his left lobe; Sav was tempted to fiddle with it but decided to leave it alone rather than distract him from his explorations.

* * *

The sounds that emerged from Sav's mouth made it obvious that he liked what Jani was doing. Jani continued to lap at Sav's crown but when his lover shifted his position to give him better access, Jani decided to stop teasing him. Sav's hand caressed Jani's hair as Jani wrapped his mouth around the head and slipped his tongue under the foreskin again. It took him a couple of attempts before he managed to slide it up and down over the ridge using only his lips while keeping his tongue in place, too, but he succeeded eventually. With his right hand still firmly in place around the base, Jani let the fingers of his left wander over Sav's balls. The glands had hardened and he stroked them very carefully, trusting that Sav would find a way to let him know if he liked it or wanted him to stop.

* * *

Letting Jani set the pace right now, letting him practice, had been the right choice. Sav had the silly thought – blood in wrong head! – that Finns must have some serious trade secrets. Did their women regularly include this sort of thing with blow jobs? Sav had never got it from a British girl, and American groupies, for the most part, had no idea what foreskin even was much less what to do with it. When his mind wandered into his far distant past experiences with men, he pushed those memories firmly aside.

What Jani managed with his lips and tongue had him so close already, but Sav controlled himself, if only by not giving in to the need to move. With his body not hunched around Jani's head any longer, he had a view of about half of his dick disappearing into Jani's mouth and his throat working. Over and over, he was indulged with such care and pure, focused pleasure, that wet tongue skidding all around the ridge, and then over the frenulum... he could hear himself gasp with each pass. Who could give that sort of treatment up?!

Fingers, fret hand fingers, landed on his balls, tracing the contours without shifting their increasing heaviness. Rough callouses made the tense spheres harden further and his sac to pull tight around them. He was going to have to call for mercy any second, or it'd be all over. Sav made the decision before his body made it for him. He attempted to pull his hips away but hadn't counted on how much suction Jani had built up. No wonder it was so fucking brilliant. "Jani... s-stop! I'm close... don't wanna come yet..."

* * *

While he was licking and suckling, Jani's own erection was begging for attention. And it wasn't only his erection, but he also felt delicious tendrils of lust reaching out to his balls and hole. Maybe he shouldn't abandon his initial plan yet...

Sav made the decision for him by telling him to stop. Jani let the thick shaft slowly slide out of his mouth. "Are you sure?" He grinned, moving his head so that Sav could see the smile on his face, and lapped at the crown once more, then kissed the tip and sat up.

"I take it that you liked that," he said feeling a little shy again.

* * *

Yes, Jani stopped, but slid him so slowly from the hold of his lips that Sav felt every centimetre's retreat, followed by another lick and kiss. "'Liked'... vast understatement!" he wheezed when Jani asked for feedback. "If I hadn't stopped you, I'd have blown." The intense stimulation had him panting, but he caught his breath quickly. By now, his erection was purple and so hard it literally pulsed, shiny from spit and other fluids.

And Jani's... other than that his saliva from before had dried or maybe evaporated from the heated skin, it too had a life of its own, leaking from the exposed tip and bobbing a bit. Sav found he couldn't keep his hands off, but he telegraphed his moves enough so Jani wouldn't flinch in surprise. Taking the base of the shaft in his left hand, he smiled at the reaction, a strong surge of blood. "This still okay?" he asked.

Earlier, in the garage, they'd talked about what he wanted very much as far as how they'd bring this all to a climax, so to speak, but he wasn't the only one here and Jani grew reticent when he wasn't sure. Rather than suck on him just yet, Sav shifted enough to where he could reach Jani's balls. A bit of a distraction, perhaps, to take the edge off his request. He licked each one a few times. "When I bent you over the car today..." He kept alternating, "I mentioned I'd like it if you'd ride me..." Sav ran his tongue all the way up the underside of the vein, and swirled the head. So sweet! Then he ducked down again to take one testicle into his mouth, very gently. For symmetry, he did the same to the other. The glands, tight on their cords, stubbornly resisted his efforts to ease them back down. "How'd you feel about that?"

He didn't allow Jani to answer just yet, though. At that moment, Sav sucked him in, all the way in, to the back of his throat.

* * *

Jani had barely sat up when Sav already reached out for his dick. That Sav had liked what he'd been doing together with the tight grip on his eager erection made him beam and moan at the same time. If there were ways to define happiness, this moment was a prime candidate for it.

"More than okay," he pressed out, his voice already hoarse with need. A second later, he realised that he should have waited with his definition of happiness when a wet tongue licked along his shaft and Sav reminded him of what they'd done earlier in the garage. Jani moaned again, opening his mouth to beg for a finger inside him, but the words got stuck in his brain at Sav's next reminder. Then Sav sucked him all the way down and...

"Fuck yes!" Jani blurted out, all thoughts of his initial plan forgotten. "I... gnnnhhh! Want that! Need that! Fuck, Sav!"

* * *

"Gawd yeah... fuck!" The response he got was way beyond enthusiastic now. Sav sucked on Jani hard but only for a minute, kissed his slit, then sat up and drew away but only to flip himself around so he could reach for supplies in the bedside table. Once he'd found the necessary items, he scuttled over to sit with his back to the headboard. Lying down would have been alright but he wanted closer contact without having to strain his abs and back to stay upright the entire time. There should still be plenty of room for Jani's knees around the outsides of Sav's thighs. His heart was pounding like mad; he felt like he was going to explode just waiting to see Jani try this... try this on him, working himself... it would be glorious... shite!

There was always the question of who put the condom on him. Sav held the packet out to Jani with a questioning look. "C'mere, Jani... You wanna...?"

* * *

Jani's enthusiasm pulled Sav along: after a loving – temporary – goodbye, Sav moved his mouth off of Jani's erection and groped for supplies. When he offered Jani a condom to put on him, Jani was suddenly nervous again. It always hurt a little at first when Sav penetrated him. It bore some similarity to stage fright, something you had to get over and then things were great. The pain always faded quickly and Jani knew that Sav would make sure he didn't get injured, but could he win against his fear and... impale... himself?

He reached for the condom and their hands touched. "Sav," Jani began. He bit his lip and almost dropped his gaze but knowing he could trust Sav, he kept his eyes on those of his lover. "I won't lie and claim I'm not nervous. I know you'll help me, prepare me well so I don't get hurt, and you'll accept it if I... should find that I can't do it. Not that I expect that, just letting you know that I trust you. Completely." He smiled.

"And now for this," Jani looked at the condom, then to Sav's dark red-purple erection. "Is it, um, safe for me to play with you a little while I put this on or would I risk spoiling the fun by setting you off?"

* * *

Jani was nervous, Sav could tell when he met his eyes. The pupils contracted and Jani gathered his nerves to say... that he had concerns about getting hurt. Sav couldn't blame him for that. This would be his second time today and they'd been having a lot of sex, some of it rather... vigorous.

Turning serious for a moment, Sav told him, "I'm glad you told me, and I want you to always let me know if anything is too much, too soon, in a less than good way. The last thing I would ever want to do is hurt you." Physically, or otherwise, but that went without saying. "I'll do everything I can to make it good for you..." He would always do that.

Things lightened up a bit when Jani asked if it was okay to play with him. "Yeah, for now. You can always trap my balls to keep me from..." Sav grinned, showing his teeth. He didn't mind an edge of pain. Not at all.

* * *

Relieved by Sav's reaction and confirmed in trusting him, Jani tore the condom wrapper open. Before he could start anything, Sav suggested Jani could trap his balls if he got too close. Now, that was something Jani didn't think he'd feel comfortable with. So yes, when he reached a certain level of arousal, he found that the harsh treatment of his nipples that he'd otherwise consider painful could be an incredible turn-on. But hurting Sav's balls? He wasn't sure he understood his lover correctly. On the other hand, launching into a discussion right now could kill the mood. Jani made a mental note to ask Sav about this later and for now not tease him to a point where ball-yanking would be the only option.

He wrapped his right hand around Sav's base again and held the condom carefully between his lips while running his left fingertips up and down the shaft – Jani was right-handed and it would be easier to roll down the latex sheath with his right hand, but Sav had apparently developed a preference for the touch of Jani's guitar-calloused fingertips, and Jani would deliver. He traced along the crown, smiling when Sav gasped.

"You'd think it likes me," he quipped as more fluid welled up from the slit. "I'm sorry we need these things for now and I can't wait to have you in me without wearing one. But for now... this is one of the ultra-thins, right?"

* * *

If he wasn't so ungodly aroused, Sav probably would have laughed at his dick 'liking' Jani. Well, it did tend to have a mind of its own in his lover's presence, and under his touch. Calloused fingertips ran over and around the head while Jani wrapped a hand around the base, getting ready to glove him. Eyes burning up at Jani, Sav commented dryly, though he could barely form words, "It likes you... so much that it's crying in happiness." His hands twitched: needing something to do with them, Sav found the lube, as he'd need it soon.

Parts of their day were crystal-clear, some where hazy. When Jani asked if this condom was one of the ultra-thins, Sav had to think about it. "It is... still had 'em in my hand when we came upstairs... tossed them in here when I went to take a leak." Even this necessary arrangement was a turn-on, when Jani handled it; he was so frank and matter-of-fact, it almost seemed unreal that someday they wouldn't have to use protection. The sooner the better. "Same here, about going bare... "

Though interested if Jani could tell the difference in condom varieties, Sav knew any coherent comparison study was out of the question till later. He shifted on the bed, spread his legs just a little, popped the cap on the lube. His breath was coming in quick little gasps now. It was torture, waiting, wanting, needing, sweating. Though they weren't really hot spots, his nipples had pulled into tiny hard buds that felt like they might ping off his chest.

At last, Jani fit the little disk to his head and began to roll it down. Sav closed his eyes and whimpered. Then blushed. It was a terribly high-pitched, unmanly sound. If he opened his mouth now, he'd beg. No, he needed to stay in control of himself now. Jani needed prep, and Sav couldn't reach him. "You could... get astride my lap," he pressed out, chest heaving. "Facing me. Just that."

* * *

"Crying in happiness, nice one," Jani laughed as he rolled the condom down, holding the shaft tight when it twitched, so he actually needed both hands. Sav's sounds made him groan and Jani couldn't wait to have _that_ inside him. Then Sav suggested that he should get astride his lap so Sav could prepare him.

"I love it when you do that," Jani confessed as he straddled Sav. "Taking such good care of me, making sure I don't get hurt and touching me inside... I can't believe that I had no idea about that spot until you showed me."

* * *

"...and I love to do it for you..." More than once, Jani had been impatient to get done with the prep and on to the sex, insisting he didn't need as much as Sav insisted on. Now, he got why the extra few seconds was necessary and worth it, and Sav considered it time well spent.

Then Jani was on him, his thighs coming down, apart over Sav's. Immediately, Sav had hands on him, his hips, then one running up his chest to gently pinch a nipple, twist and pull; the other around to his backside, tracing the cleft. More important, he had to make sure Jani was comfortable. This was something new again, where Jani would take a more active part. Tilting his head back, Sav looked up, a little smile lingering on his lips. "Kiss me... trust me... put your weight down on me, it's okay."

He knew that Jani trusted him, he'd said so. Sav felt the same. He'd not had much chance to put himself in Jani's hands yet, but he knew if the time came, it would be good. Their kissing was just as much making love as what they did with their quote-unquote sexual organs, and they engaged again, Sav tracing Jani's inside lower lip, sliding their tongues. Somehow it was fierce and delicate at the same time, soul-searching.

Between them, Sav's dick throbbed angrily, and Jani's prodded his belly, leaving little smears of fluid. He eased off Jani's nipple so he could slick the fingers of his right hand. By now, he was jittery, erratic, with need. "Gonna get you ready now..." Since Jani knew what to expect, he brought his finger into place, massaging around the rim and spreading the lube where it was most needed. As soon as he felt the little opening relax enough to admit him, he slid his forefinger all the way in. Above him, Jani groaned and blew out a breath. "Alright?"

* * *

Encouraged by Sav, who put his hands on his hips and guided him, Jani sat on his lap. He was still nervous but Sav smiled at him, ran a hand up his chest until he reached a nipple. All it took was a gentle pinch and Jani relaxed: he'd told Sav that he trusted him – which he did, and now his body was slowly getting the message as well. Or it was distraction by the fingers that were tracing down his spine, making him shiver, and the lips that claimed his, the tongue that licked into his mouth and challenged and invited him to a playful duel.

Sav gave him a quick warning when he was getting ready to, well, get Jani ready. Jani nodded and breathed calmly but held his breath when Sav's finger circled his opening. He released his breath only when the first finger slid in, enjoying the apprehension despite being nervous.

"Alright," he said with a smile. "Better than that, actually. _Much_ better."

* * *

Oh...! Tightness and heat! Sav's erection lurched and spit out a string of pre-come into the condom. Regardless of how much they did this, the sensations got him every time. "Great... gonna give you another." A little more lube, and Sav pulled at the rim till it softened enough to admit his middle finger along with the first. This angle might not be so conducive to finding Jani's sweet spot with his digits, and he told Jani the same. "You're doing good... so good... lean on me if you want, or arch, whatever feels best."

One more finger and it would be enough. Sav worked the two already inside apart, and then remembering, he bent his head down and licked along Jani's collarbone. Lightly, interspersing kisses from the outer wing to the middle where the pulse was pounding, he used the distraction to wiggle his ring finger into the small space he'd created. "Almost there, almost done, gonna fill you up inside..."

* * *

After announcing that he'd do so, Sav gave him another finger. Although his mind knew what was going to happen – and welcomed it – Jani's body needed a second to get with the programme: he tensed at first, but immediately relaxed and pushed back. Sav told him to lean on him, arch, do whatever else he thought felt good, so Jani leaned against Sav until their chests were in close contact and he savoured the warmth and the feeling of Sav's skin against his.

Another quick warning and Sav's ring finger joined the first two. It didn't hurt, but there was a moment of, Jani wouldn't even call it discomfort, it was more a sense of weirdness. The first time he'd had Sav's fingers in him, he'd found it very disconcerting at first although he'd quickly come to enjoy it immensely – a vast understatement considering the extreme pleasure he felt from having this mysterious little gland inside him stimulated. Every time Sav breached him, Jani had a fraction of a second of a déjà-vu moment of this initial weirdness. If he was honest, he hoped he'd never get used to it to such a point that this weirdness, this excitement would fade.

Right now he wanted Sav inside him – _all_ of Sav, who now leaned forward to lick along Jani's collarbone while he spread his fingers apart and stretched him open. "Sav," Jani groaned as he felt a surge of slick rushing from his slit although Sav hadn't even touched his sweet spot yet, "I want that, too. Want you to fill me up inside, want to feel you deep in me."

* * *

The connection strengthened when Jani leaned forward, bringing them into closer contact, even more when they both inhaled at the same time. Skin, muscle, bone, they were two bodies, yet somehow one, or about to be one. The affirmation that Jani wanted what Sav wanted, or rather, to be on the receiving end, brought another wave of electric lust crashing through Sav's body.

Reluctantly pulling his fingers free, Sav looked up into Jani's face. He was ready, pupils almost swallowing his irises again. Logistics first. The remaining lube on his fingers, Sav used to coat his dick. "Rise up on your knees a bit. I'll hold meself steady, and then you can... sink down."

* * *

...and then Sav withdrew his fingers. Jani immediately had the feeling of loss paired with anticipation that he was beginning to associate with about-to-have sex with Sav. Still, this time it was different and he was also nervous. Could he do this? His eyes were locked onto Sav's and he was sure Sav could read his fear, yet all he saw was encouragement, trust, love.

Jani followed Sav's instructions and rose, then shifted around until he felt the tip of Sav's dick against his entrance. It twitched a little at the touch and Jani knew he really, _really_ wanted this. All he had to do was push down. That should be easy, right?

It wasn't. Sav must have noted his hesitation, but the expression in his eyes hadn't changed, the trust and confidence was still shining from them.

"Maybe..." Jani began, "What if I held you up and you put your hands on my hips so that you could, uh, guide me a little?"

* * *

Prep or no prep, positioned so he was sitting directly over, no on, Sav's dick, Jani was still hesitant. Okay, so he was neither small nor slim downstairs, and usually it was Sav who did the taking, so to speak. The past and present overlayed themselves, disconcerting, but allowed Sav more insight into Jani's... maybe fear was too strong a word. Not hurt, Sav had made sure of that, but there'd be pressure and fullness, the sensation of wrongness, that things were moving opposite of how they should. All of that also felt good as soon as they'd start moving for real, but he well remembered the strangeness of it. Jani hadn't shut down, and his erection was just as strong, so he mustn't have too many qualms. It was just that first breach...

His suspicion was confirmed when Jani asked for help with the downward slide. Nodding, Sav placed one hand on Jani's hip, waiting for him to reach down and replace his grip on his dick. They accomplished that with a bit of fumbling and two slightly sheepish grins. God, he was right there! Could feel the heat and the slightest give already. "I'mma pull you down now... drop down a little at a time and..." as Sav had advised him back in Helsinki, their real first time, "let it happen... let yourself open for me."

With both hands curved around Jani's hipbones, Sav exerted his strength. He knew his face was a mess of snarling need, but he kept his eyes up, trained on Jani's every response, on the minute shifts of his eyebrows, how his mouth would either smile or grimace, patches of freshly-sprung sweat at his temples and throat. If not for lube, they'd never have got past the flared ridge but there! Finally! He was in, rings of muscles surrounding him, so tight, trembling with the effort of relaxing enough to allow him entrance... low-pitched groans rolled out of him as Jani slid down, down...

Sav waited to move till he was more than halfway in and gave in to his own needs, thrusting upward while pulling hard at Jani's waist, in to the hilt. "Yes, Jani!" he cried out. Everything in him wanted to roll Jani on his back and _take_ , well, almost everything because he also wanted to see Jani riding him to completion, using Sav's dick as his personal prostate stimulator. He wrapped his arms around his lover, holding him close while he adjusted.

"You were brave... it takes guts to do that." Sav trailed a hand down Jani's back and lower, to where they were joined. "You're incredible, around me." That outer ring was stretched so tight. Kissing along Jani's collarbone again, he waited. Tried to, anyway, his body had other ideas. There was little leverage from the bottom. Sav wanted to move, to thrust, but it was more like tiny pulses. "Ride me now," he whispered into Jani's neck, breathing in his scent. "Make yourself feel good."

* * *

"Thank you," Jani whispered when Sav put his hands on his hips. He took hold of Sav's erection and kept it positioned against his entrance and nodded to indicate that he was ready. Sav didn't have to literally pull him down, the slight nudge he exerted was enough for Jani to lower himself. Tensing at first when he felt himself spread open, Jani forced his muscles to relax, encouraged by Sav's eyes. Ever so slowly, his tight sphincter finally got the message and Jani slid down, gasping when he felt Sav enter him. Half-way there, Sav pushed upward. Jani's eyes flew wide open in initial shock, but then Sav was all the way in and it felt good, right. When he bottomed out, Sav cried Jani's name, so Jani knew he wasn't the only one who thought so.

_"We_ are incredible," Jani corrected Sav. "You and I, we make a great team." He smiled. "I'll ride you and I'll... make myself feel good..." He hesitated. "I'm feeling good already. It's... it feels as if you're deeper in me than before... Can we maybe just stay like this for a minute? Not because I'm in pain or discomfort," Jani hurried to reassure Sav, "but I really want to savour this moment."

* * *

_..deeper in me..._

_...savour this moment..._

It was like Jani had Sav pinned with his words and his eyes; the fact that he was sitting on him, impaled on his dick was irrelevant in that regard. Sav longed to tell Jani how much he meant to him, that he loved him. He didn't, out of respect for the younger man's limits. "Yes... whatever you need of me..."

Hearing Jani's acknowledgement he was deeper now might have stroked his ego; Sav had no doubt he meant it in more ways than physically. This felt... deeper somehow. Like when they had been in the guitar room and Jani had summed up their tumultuous emotional connection as, "we are so screwed." That's what had led them here. "I... I think that now... we're even more screwed," Sav murmured. "What are we gonna do?"

He had both palms on Jani's arse now, kneading with his fingers. Their chests were still pressed close, and their faces only an inch or two apart, other than Jani had the higher position. Sav was getting desperate to move, really move, but he gritted his teeth and waited. Instead of curling his abs to try for deeper yet, he let his breath fan across Jani's neck.

* * *

Sav held him for a moment but it was clear that he was more impatient to move than Jani. When Sav commented that they were even more screwed now than earlier, Jani laughed. "Well, at least _I_ am about to be screwed right now, so I'd say the question as to what we're going to do has a simple answer for the moment." He clenched his sphincter and shivered with anticipation.

"I'm going to move." Still a little nervous, Jani raised his body a few centimetres. He could feel Sav moving inside him and it didn't hurt. Encouraged by the lack of pain, he slid down again, groaning when he took Sav deep into his body. Taking a breath, Jani lifted his arse until he could feel the rim of Sav's glans tugging at him on the inside. This was as far as he'd go to make sure Sav didn't slip out. Maybe with a little more practice, they could go further eventually, but not today.

Sinking down, then up and down again a few times, Jani quickly got comfortable with the motion. That Sav liked it was more than obvious from the expression on his face as well as the sounds he was making. Jani smiled and decided to try something else: Sav had told him to make himself feel good, and the way to do this was to move in such a fashion that Sav's dick would stroke Jani's prostate.

To find a suitable position, Jani first sat down all the way again so that he could squirm around in Sav's lap. Sav didn't mind that either – which was a huge understatement apparently. It took some wiggling, but suddenly it was as if he'd touched a live wire; sparks flew up his spine and Jani gasped. It lasted only a fraction of a second because he'd moved by reflex, but now that he knew how to find the right position, Jani shifted back and held himself there, clenching and moaning.

It was somehow even more intense than when Sav had been on top of him and Jani sensed that if he moved he'd lose it in a matter of seconds. He could only hope that Sav wouldn't be far behind because he suddenly had no intention of waiting any longer. Bracing himself, Jani lifted up again – and all but screamed when the stimulation was so strong that it was all too much. His knees gave so that he sank down again, pushed himself up with a major effort such that Sav was pressed into his sensitive little gland.

"Fuck, Sav, fuck...!" It was as far as he got. Jani's voice broke along with his balls when they suddenly released their flood so violently that it felt as if his slit was ripped apart. Trapped against Sav's body, Jani's dick shot thick cream between them as he sobbed and his entire body was spasming with the shocks of his climax.

* * *

It was just as well Jani found a way to inject some levity into the mood. The last thing Sav wanted was to break down during sex; that would be too weird. When Jani clenched around him and lifted himself up, he forgot the heavy feelings in favour of the sight, sound, and especially the sensations of Jani getting down to it.

He knew what to do, Sav assumed from women being on top of him or seeing it in porn. He raised up and lowered himself, first halfway, then more. Every slide up and down on him was exquisite, like the rim was clutching at him, the inner muscles as well, and Jani kept clenching, which only made the grip around him that much tighter. As much as he could, which wasn't a lot, Sav rocked his pelvis, curled under, anything to get deeper. Trapped between the tops of his thighs and Jani's arse, his balls twinged with the added squeeze every time Jani came down. Any second now, he was going to lose it.

More comfortable with his position now, Jani changed the angle. The look on his face said he was searching for something, Sav had a good idea what. The gasp that followed said he'd found it. It was silly, but all Sav could think was that Jani was going to come, was going to get off so hard, from him – Sav – providing the means for him to rub off from the inside, not just his dick but the encouragement and opportunity. If the limited movement kept him at the best possible angle for Jani to hit his spot, he'd live with delaying his own climax, though he moaned like a wounded animal with every movement out of pleasure and what was beginning to be pain from holding off.

The next round of up-down-shift around pulled a sudden scream from Jani. Sav reacted by thrusting up again; Jani almost fell onto him, calling out his name and profanity. Only a few subtle grinds and further wiggling later, Sav felt hot, sticky seed exploding between them. Jani's ring muscles spasmed all around him... any second now, any second... he could taste it, feel his climax building.

As much as he'd wanted this, as hot as it had been, Sav knew he needed more. He wrapped his arms tightly around Jani, holding him those few seconds till he shuddered. Aftershocks. Tipping them both to the side, he rolled Jani onto his back while remaining inside. "You came so hard," he groaned, "was so fucking beautiful. I need... just need...please... fuck, Jani!" He didn't stop; it was going to over in seconds. Sav let go of his control and did not hold back. He almost convulsed as much as thrust. Maybe five times, quick, hard, speeding, he was counting it off again, soaring higher, staring into Jani's startled eyes so he could see the exact moment he came...

The tension knotted and yanked and pulled through his spine, butt, thighs, abs and especially his groin. All he could see was white light and Jani. "Yes, god yes Jani, fuck!!" Pure liquid energy broke free and poured from him. Now it was Sav screeching as his balls turned inside out and he shot endlessly into the condom.

* * *

Jani came so hard that his vision greyed out a little. He was still clinging to Sav and shuddering through the aftershocks when he suddenly found himself thrown on his back. Before he could react or figure out what was going on, Sav was thrusting hard into him, three, four times before he screeched his orgasm.

Still pretty befuddled, Jani finally got what had just happened, and he blamed himself for almost missing Sav coming. They were both breathing hard, utterly exhausted – at least Jani was – laying on the bed that was, once again, a mess.

"At the rate we're going through sheets here, maybe I should buy shares," Jani suggested with a grin.

* * *

Besides the other kind of relief, which he was still coming down from, Sav counted himself lucky that Jani was so easy-going about the quick change-up. "I should at least get a preferred customer discount," he added to Jani's quip. "At this rate, if I have to start ordering more linen, the company might think I'm running a bed and breakfast out of this place," he chuckled. "Which considering... we eat, and we fuck, and lots of the second, that might be the case. I won't charge you," he winked.

He was probably growing heavy. It felt like his limbs were filled with sand. Sav dropped a kiss on Jani's lips, then rolled off of him and flopped onto his back. "Damn. I'm knackered, but I don't want to fall asleep and have what happened last night... happen again. What do want to do next? Any ideas?"

* * *

"Oh, feel free to charge me – as long as you accept payment in the currency of sexual favours," Jani snickered.

Sav rolled off of him and slipped out. Jani missed having him inside already. He agreed with Sav's assessment of the situation. Although he was tired as well he didn't want to waste a single minute with sleeping like they'd done the day before. "Dunno, maybe watch a DVD? Some movie that doesn't require a lot of brains preferably. And more coffee, of course," he winked.

* * *

"Good idea. Coffee will help get my brain back online." Sav stretched and sat up. He pulled the condom off himself and tossed it in the bin next to his bedside table. Luckily his aim was true. It would've been nasty if it stuck to the wall or something.

"We could watch some Monty Python if you like. I have a lot of DVDs, I'm sure we can find something. Since I put in that home theatre downstairs, might as well use it." They'd walked by on the tour; Sav didn't know if Jani remembered it or not. He moved about, finding his discarded clothes and Jani's as well. "Are you okay to wear these or do you want fresh... um, underwear at least?"

* * *

"No to new clothes but yes for fresh underpants," Jani replied. "Don't ask me why, but for some weird reason I can't seem to figure out my underpants keep getting soaked ever since I arrived in the UK." He grinned. "Not that I'm complaining."

Sav threw him a pair of briefs and Jani got dressed. "So, your home theatre. Please tell me you have microwave popcorn. And, uh, maybe we should take, er, condoms," Jani blushed. "You know, since we're teenagers and all, or maybe it was different for you, but I have, well, kind of fond memories of the back row in our cinema with girlfriends."

* * *

Sav snorted a laugh. "I'll put you in charge of supplies for now. That was number three for me today. Even if I'm feeling like I'm 15, there's a limit. My nuts are sore! Popcorn..." he pulled his jeans on, "probably, but I'll have to check the pantry. I know there's crisps and chocolate, since I bought them. As for you," he let his eyes flick down at Jani's crotch, "it seems to be a special... gift." That was true. Sav never leaked that much nor had his limited number male partners. Gift... or if he was in public, maybe 'curse'. Boners at inopportune moments happened to nearly every man, he had never had to stuff anything down his pants to absorb the juice. "Alright, I suppose I should change the sheet, too, first. No doubt we'll be staggering in here again, dying to get naked and shag soon enough. Or barring that, sleep."

While Jani finished dressing, Sav stripped the bottom sheet off the bed. It wasn't that bad. For sure, he'd slept on much worse when he was a teenager, but now he was this middle-aged... whatever. That reminded him, he needed to take care of the clothes and bedding he'd washed earlier. It wouldn't do for them to get moldy.

"Be right back," he announced, taking the sheet out to the laundry chute in the hallway. Upon his return, Sav pulled a clean sheet out of a freestanding closet that held linens and miscellaneous stuff, mostly memorabilia, that wasn't clothes and shook it out over the mattress. Funny that now, unlike when he was younger, he appreciated domestic skills. It was better than having to rely on hired help, which he was certain he'd never completely trust. Those he did employ, he never saw.

Job done, Sav approached Jani. "Definitely not starting anything here... hug, then downstairs?" He opened his arms.

* * *

Jani's heart skipped a beat when Sav announced that he may have reached his limit sex-wise. He hadn't forgotten his... he couldn't exactly call it 'plan', but what he wanted to ask Sav if only he could muster the courage. For now that wasn't going to happen as Jani's nuts were sore, too, as Sav had put it. But later...

By the time Sav had finished with the sheet Jani had pushed his 'plan' from his mind. "Definitely hug," he said as he stepped into Sav's arms, pulled him close and let himself be held. "I can never get enough of you," he whispered against Sav's neck.

* * *

"Mmmm... same here." Sav inhaled deeply of Jani's scent and pulled him close. Didn't people say that the sense of smell was the most deeply rooted in memory, or something like that? He didn't say it, but he was dreading more and more the upcoming time apart. Yes, he'd survive, would carry on, do his job and do it to the best of his ability because his sense of pride or honour or whatever would settle for nothing else but...

No use agonising ahead of time. They would watch a movie and have some snacks and enjoy what time they had. That's how they'd do this: now, and in the future. Concentrate on the moment.

He let Jani go. No use smothering him. "Alright then. Let's go see what's in the pantry."

They proceeded downstairs, and Sav stepped into the little room off the kitchen, "There's microwave popcorn. My housekeeping staff must have read your mind!" He never ate the stuff. Making sure it wasn't expired, Sav grabbed the box along with the crisps he'd mentioned, for himself. Showing the popcorn to Jani, he asked, "Does this kind look okay to you?"

* * *

"Um. I'm not sure," Jani replied a little nervously when Sav asked him if the popcorn looked okay. "At home, it was always Anni who took care of anything kitchen-related. She popped the corn, so to speak, while I handled the DVD player. But what could go wrong if we follow the instructions, right?" He took the package and read what was written on it, then set the microwave accordingly and put the bag into it. "You got a bowl or something?"

He left it to Sav to look for one while Jani loaded the coffee-maker with water and a pistachio pod for himself. "Are you still happy with caramel or would you like to try something else?"

* * *

"Yes, should have one around here somewhere." Now where exactly were the mixing bowls again? It was strange: This was _his_ kitchen, but he was always forgetting where the items he didn't use much were stored. He'd swear the cleaning stuff kept rearranging things. Sav opened a couple of cupboard doors and found a medium-sized metal bowl that would work.

Jani had already started to nuke the popcorn. "I'll try some of that pumpkin pie flavoured coffee," he decided, mouth starting to water. "If you'd make that for me, I can watch the popcorn. What you want to do is let as many of the kernels as you can pop without going over and burning it. Burnt popcorn smell is the worst! It seems to linger for days."

* * *

"Sure," Jani agreed to make the coffee for Sav, then remarked, "Uh, I don't think the popcorn needs watching. At least it was always okay when Anni nuked it according to what it said on the box. I vividly remember the smell from my childhood when we made popcorn in a pot, though." He blushed at the memory. "One time, my sister and I tried it when we were little without our mum being around and you can guess what happened. Never had that with the microwave variant, though."

He finished with the coffee. "Here's to you," he sang. "Huh, that line could actually work for a song, what do you think?"

* * *

"Maybe..." Sav cocked his head and tried to put the line into a larger melody or song but it eluded him. "Did you just come up with that? We could work it up, if you want to. And here's to you," he said the words back, and made the 'cheers' motion with his mug.

"Yeah, stuff we do when we're kids that seemed like a good idea at the time... Since my brothers are older, I really didn't have a playmate at home, had to play with neighbourhood kids. Lots of spranks and scrapes." Leaning against the counter, he waited for the microwave to ding, although he did keep part of his awareness on the smell emanating. So far, just popcorn.

* * *

"My head is always full with melodies and stuff," Jani explained. "If this one sticks in my mind we or I can work on it. Do you use a software for music, like Logic or Cubase? So I could send you files?"

The microwave dinged and he retrieved the popcorn. "Okay, let's see how this went." He opened the bag and poured it into the bowl Sav handed him, then popped a kernel into his mouth. "Yup, it'll do fine. Now, Monty Python, did you have a movie in mind or the series?"

* * *


	5. Talking in circles

* * *

"Oh lord," Sav chuckled, holding up his free hand in a 'surrender' motion, "what was that, Greek? I really need to get caught up to this century. Pro Tools... that's the only one I've ever around played around with. There's been some talk of recording parts to our next album on the road. On the bus, backstage... I'll ask Phil and Viv to give me some pointers on the computer stuff; they'll drop their teeth in surprise. They think I'm a technophobe, but it's mainly that when I write, it's in my head and I just 'save'," he made air quotation marks, "it there. Then show everyone when it's time to write and record."

They walked down to the theatre, complete with two curved rows of luxurious seats in a deep blood red. "I hope I remember how to work this thing," Sav joked. It was just a glorified DVR with the screen as an aux device. The sound system had its own remote. "I haven't seen 'The Life of Brian' for a while. Or do you prefer 'Holy Grail'? That one never gets old. I hear it's being adapted for stage, as a musical."

* * *

"That'll do," Jani beamed. "Sweet. Then we can swap files while you're on the road. We could even," he blushed, "record when we, um... Although, no, better not, at least not while you're in the US. They're rather paranoid with good encryption being illegal there. Imagine the scandal if Def Leppard's bassist isn't allowed to enter the country because he has European encryption software for his emails so nobody can listen to the porn his lover sends him. Sorry, it looks as if it'll be live phone sex only," he cackled.

"So, 'Life of Brian', 'Holy Grail', either is fine with me."

* * *

Sav's eyes might have bugged out a little at the concept of recording phone sex. And then re-listening to it. "You're right, the Yanks are totally paranoid, usually over the wrong things and no, I wouldn't want any part of such a conversation to fall into the wrong hands. Or _any_ hands but mine. I can just see all the fundamentalist weirdos picketing our shows." He paused. "For a second there, I thought you meant record it when we actually... when we're in bed. Or like, on staircase." Then Sav shook his head and laughed. "Talk about constant boner."

Meanwhile, he popped in 'The Life of Brian', since Jani said he didn't care. The opening music started, and the baby fell on the floor. As always, it was so stupid and irreverent it was funny.

* * *

"Um, no, what I actually meant was that I could record for you when I was, well, doing myself, so you could listen to it when we're not on the phone together. Like, different time zones, and all that. Still constant boner, I guess," Jani winked. "Unless it's too, um, wrung out, of course."

He sat next to Sav and snuggled up to him. "I could get used to this life," he said. "Sex, food, sex, coffee, sex, music – and did I mention sex and coffee?" He yawned. "Sorry, I seem to be tired a lot lately, doesn't mean I find you boring. Maybe it's that when I'm with you I can relax, as in really relax and not constantly worry about a thousand things even when I'm supposed to rest."

* * *

Sav decided he'd replace two or three of the theatre seats with a couch. It'd be much more comfortable if they decided to cuddle. Jeez, he thought. Before this interval with Jani at his place, activities like cuddling and snuggling were only endured to keep the peace with whatever girlfriend. He didn't mention it, though, and instead followed up Jani's latest remark about personal porn. "'Wrung out', now that sounds a little painful," he giggled. "Although if we were, hypothetically, a little more creative I could watch you wring it out. There's always Skype."

After watching the film for a few minutes, Sav responded to Jani's other comment. "This is... the best time I've ever had in this house. Sex and coffee, food and sex, music and sex and Jani – that, he, is the most important part." He leaned over the armrest and kissed his lover, almost as punctuation. It was only a one-off. He said, "When you visit again, we should seriously plan on some sort of normal activities. I'm not sure if urgent trips to the GP and dodging over-enthusiastic wanna-be groupies counts. Not that I'm complaining about any of the other stuff!"

* * *

"I think I read somewhere that Skype isn't the best choice if you don't want to be spied on," Jani mused. "I guess I'd better check it out before skype-ing with you and inadvertently giving those crazy chicks a free show." He shuddered.

"So, normal activities, huh?" Jani nuzzled Sav's neck with his nose. "I'd say that having lots of sex is a fairly normal activity for two guys who happen to like each other. Since we already found out that we need a break now and then to, um, recharge, what do you like to do that would count as normal? I like to read – okay, maybe not the best example for something one can share with another person. Let's see what else... Movies, we're working on that. I used to go on walks a lot with Anni when things were still good between us. We'd go out and meet friends, sing karaoke, go bowling, play cards and other games, most of it with friends but also sometimes just the two of us."

He hesitated. "As I said before, I'm not sure when I'll be comfortable to be... out. I'm not ashamed of being with you, but I think I need time. I'd still like to meet your friends... Maybe that'd even help me coming to terms with being with you in the public, I mean, as more than simply friends..."

Jani cringed. "Sorry, didn't mean to ruin the evening. Maybe it's better not to discuss this in depth right now... I don't really know what to think or say..."

* * *

Sav could see Jani was working up to something; he paused the movie. He understood the concern right away. It probably was no different than he'd feel if Jani had suddenly suggested they start clubbing in London or something similar where they were sure to be recognised. "No, it's fine. I had thought, earlier, when we had that run-in over by Crookes that I should be more careful about security. There must be things we can do where it's not so public. I just don't want you to get bored, not that we have! You mentioned cards and games, that's something. Movies, obviously," he waved at the screen. "Well, we have plenty of time later to deal with it. And yeah. Meeting each other's friends. I met Henkka and Tommy, and I still think you'd get along great with Phil and Viv for sure."

"And..." For once, Sav felt at a loss for words. "I didn't mean to pressure you. Hadn't even thought about it like that. Thanks for the wake-up call. Lots of sex is certainly normal for two blokes who are..." yeah, he couldn't really define that either. "...for us. We sure have figured out how to be the best ever for each other." He reached over and cupped the side of Jani's face. "So I guess for now, you'll remain my secret."

* * *

"Phil and Viv... Of course I'd love to meet them. You already said that all of your band are friends, back when you met Tommy and Henkka. I don't see how it could be otherwise for the lot of you in a band together for such a long time, especially since you, too, are a touring band. As Tony once put it in another context, all kinds of monsters can hatch from ordinary nice people when they're crammed into a small space like a tour bus, especially when alcohol is involved. That latter part isn't as much of an issue with you and your guys these days if I understand right, but you had your wild days, too. That you're still together is a strong indicator that they're nice guys."

Jani took a sip of coffee after his long speech and continued, "Of course, if you put me together with two guitarists we'd be discussing gear for a while," he mused. "But only for a while. People always want to talk shop with me and as much as I love my job, I always enjoy doing other – and also talking about – normal, things. Not only sex, that's reserved for you, and you only." He winked.

* * *

Sav withdrew his hand. It wasn't that sort of moment. "Right..." Def Leppard, They were all friends. Mostly. They'd lived together on tour more than any of them had, with other relationships. They'd had their wild times. That was for damned sure. He nodded, feeling stupid about repeating himself to the extent Jani pointed it out. "That's all true. I hope to say that we're nice people and not a bunch of jerks on a bus who happen to work together." Pulling a face, he used the sort of ironic tone to say that he didn't think they were an bunch of arseholes, either.

Once again, Sav had to admit to himself he wasn't sure what constituted normal these days. Not his life. He had thought he was past caring. But this wasn't just about him. He decided that normal was what Jani decided it needed be, within reason. The kid deserved a chance at whatever he required to be happy, in a relationship. If Sav wasn't it, he would let him go.

...That, that inner statement, that sentiment, was a total lie. If they were never to see each other again starting with Jani going to his gig and Sav back on the road in a few days, he doubted he'd ever forget him. It would be years before he was 'over it'. That's just how it was. Now Sav had to scramble for words. "I wish more people wanted to talk shop with me. My gear is probably too simplistic for most. Well, you saw it." That day, or the beginning of that day, had been in a different lifetime or something. Unlike Viv and Phil, Sav had never made many connections, what did they call it these days – networking? – with other bassists. It had never seemed important.

Jani's comment about having and discussing sex with him 'only' almost made Sav splutter his coffee. The undertone, going from discussing gear with guitarists, namely Def Leppard guitarists, back to the subject of sex, somehow pricked him with something almost akin to possessiveness. Of course Sav wouldn't be the only bloke in the world to find Jani attractive, but the idea of one of his bandmates... that was too much. The chances of it were also nil, barring drunk Phil and that had been because of where they were that night. Sav was all too aware.

"I should hope the sex is only reserved for me off the road, but then we've talked about that..." Sav finished, and held up the remote. "I suppose we should finish this film sometime today, huh?"

* * *

When Sav withdrew his hand, Jani didn't know what to make out of it. He meant to reply to Sav's comment about wishing to talk shop more, reassure him that he, Jani, would enjoy discussing gear and all with Sav – when he'd said that he liked to do other things as well, it must have come out wrong; he hadn't planned to suggest that he didn't enjoy the professional discussions – but before he could open his mouth Sav made clear that the topic was closed. He also closed the topic of sex by reminding Jani that they'd talked about this before, then held up the remote and maintained that they should continue the movie.

"Sure," Jani said curtly and sat back to focus on the screen, breaking body contact, too – what else was he supposed to do after the clear dismissal? If only he knew what he'd done wrong, but Sav didn't give him the impression of planning to enlighten him. He suddenly wanted to get drunk, but it wasn't an option, so he sipped his coffee and shoved a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

* * *

Dammit, what had he done now? The silence he was getting was frigid. Well, not silence but aggressive popcorn crunching. Perhaps 'sometime today' had been a bit... flip.

Sav finished his coffee ten minutes later. This wasn't funny. He wasn't even watching the movie. Usually he'd be rolling with laughter and even quoting over it. The wall between him and Jani was... like that wall of ice in those Martin novels.

Finally, he couldn't stand it any longer. Sav stood and set the remote on the chair arm. "Need more coffee," he gave as an excuse. "Want some more, too?"

* * *

Whatever was going on in Sav's mind, he'd apparently decided not to share his thoughts. They sat in uncomfortable silence until Sav got up and asked if Jani wanted more coffee, too. Jani would have jumped at the opportunity but his mug was still more than half full. Also...

"Um, thanks, I'm good coffee-wise, but I wouldn't say no to a beer." He bit his lip.

* * *

"Are you sure about that?" Sav cocked a hip. He wasn't about to get parental on Jani, who was a grown man, after all. And it was just a beer. It wasn't like he'd asked for a bottle of JD with a fifth of Absolut for a chaser. But he had to ask, even if it pissed Jani off.

* * *

Jani looked down. "I appreciate your concern," he said quietly. "I know you care." Maybe he shouldn't have told Sav about his drinking problem, but that cat was out of the bag now. "If you think I should stick with juice or coke I'll do that. I don't want you to worry."

* * *

Was that real, or sarcasm? Sav decided to give Jani the benefit of the doubt, since when Sav himself had made sarcastic remarks, Jani always took it the wrong way, even when they were supposed to be humorous. "Of course I do," he replied with a nod, before exiting the room. He meant it. Jani might be mad at him, but Sav's feelings toward him remained just the same.

In the kitchen, Sav rinsed out his mug and changed out the pod in the machine. He'd bought himself a couple of minutes at least, in saying he needed coffee. Waiting for it to go through its cycle, he laid both hands on the cool granite countertop and leaned forward on them, looking down. He'd said before in interviews that he had small hands, which, he supposed, wasn't something most men would want to advertise. Hands-feet-nose-dick. His kept his nails short, especially on his fret hand. That had proved useful lately for... other reasons. Jesus, could he not think of anything that didn't lead back to the subject of sex?! On the other hand, did he want to?

The brewing was done in a cloud of steam. All that remained was for Sav to make up Jani's mind for him about what he was drinking, which made him roll his eyes. Drinking, or not drinking. Sav was more a fan of moderation than cold turkey, but he'd never been addicted, he didn't think. Nicotine, on the other hand. Even with the patch on, he wanted a smoke, just for the excuse of something to do with his hands. Twenty years ago, this house would probably have stunk to high heaven of cigarettes, but things changed, didn't they?

Sav pulled a glass out of the cupboard and set it by the fridge, opening the door. Coke or juice. If Jani had had enough coffee, he probably didn't need the caffeine in a soft drink, either. Juice was healthier anyway, he decided, and reached for the container.

* * *

When Sav confirmed that 'he did', Jani wasn't sure if he meant that he cared or was worried. Probably both, which made Jani feel even guiltier. And helpless, for one because he had no clue what he'd done or said wrong, and also because from the way Sav had put his foot down on any discussion earlier, even if he tried to ask Sav now, he'd probably only make things worse. Vittu, he really wanted, maybe even needed a drink. And that would also make things worse because, Sav cared and worried.

Sav was taking his time in the kitchen and Jani got more and more nervous. He finally jumped up from his seat and followed Sav, whom he found staring at something in the fridge.

"Please," Jani began, glad that he was facing Sav's back, "talk to me. Something's wrong. What did I do?"

* * *

So lost in his thoughts he didn't even hear Jani come up behind him till he spoke, Sav jumped. The orange juice carton in his hand started to slip but he caught it before it spilled. "Wot?!"

Then he registered what Jani had asked. Sav had no idea how to answer that. "You didn't do anything. It's me." Besides being the oldest lame line in the book, he could see when he turned around that Jani didn't believe him. "Alright... I guess... maybe a couple of raw nerves got scraped." He was tensing up again just thinking about it. But, if Jani was that upset about it he actually _wanted_ to talk, they should try. He set the OJ on the counter next to the fridge without pouring any.

"Actually, I could ask you the same thing. What did I do wrong?" Sav looked into Jani's eyes. "Before you answer, would you hear me out?" Possibly adding to the problem, not waiting for an answer, he went on, "I got my nose out of joint when you said, like... yeah yeah, I'd already said you should meet Phil and Viv before. Like I'm too stupid to realise I'm repeating myself... and then I did the same thing to you a minute later. That was a bitch move on my part."

"That's some of it. I really do feel stupid for not being up to scratch about gear. Since we've made enough money to pay people to do it, I've mostly let my techs handle it. I know what's in my rig, and what it's for, and I am perfectly capable of using my pedals... but till now I've really not given fuck-all about anyone else's set-up, or guitar – not bass – tech. I dunno if that's arrogance or laziness or... but I kind of feel like an idiot."

Sav could see that Jani was getting restless. He was either going to cut in or shut down again. Before that happened, Sav had to get the last part out into the open. It wouldn't surprise him if Jani spat in his face for being a jaded old perv or simply left, but if he kept it in, it was going to fester. "Look, I don't want to taint it if you do meet them some day, but for some reason, my mind jumped from you hanging with Phil and Viv just to jam or talk shop or whatever to... doing other stuff with them. Like sex stuff." He held up his hands and rushed on. "I know, I know that's ridiculous. Like I said, it's my problem. But it made me feel... not even jealous, since it never happened, but like... territorial. Possessive. I've never had that sort of reaction before, not even with my high school girlfriend and we were together for years. I know it's wrong, what with upcoming gigs and tour for me, eventually for you, too, and what we agreed to, groupies or whatever... I don't know what's fucking wrong with me."

Then he sighed, and shifted his weight. "I'm telling you this for context. Don't get the wrong idea, _please_. Phil's been a strict vegan teetotaller for going on twenty years. But he got totally wasted on the last leg one night. We were in a city where Steve... he didn't die there but it was a close call, he almost did. They, Phil and Steve were together for years, I probably told you that, too; Phil still feels it. Guilt he didn't do more, sadness, loss, emptiness. Honestly? We all feel it. Well, not Viv, I s'pose, other than he can see how it affects the rest of us. Anyway... he came on to me." Sav snorted at the memory, feeling slightly disloyal to his bandmate. "He was so drunk, he couldn't have done anything, anyway. I felt sorry for him, but not that sorry. I don't even know where I'm going with this other than to say it got all twisted up and... the idea of any other man's hands on you makes me so fucking... " Sav unclenched his fists and shook his head. "I'm sorry."

* * *

Jani listened anxiously to what Sav had to say, nodding from time to time and making small noises that he hoped sounded encouraging. So far he'd thought he was the needy one, the one drowning in problems and insecurities. Now it dawned on him that Sav had issues, too – Jani cursed himself mentally for not paying more attention earlier. But maybe this was due to his Finnish descent, being used to pretending to not registering weakness in others, just like he hated to be seen when he was weak himself. So he'd allowed Sav to take care of him in Milan because there obviously wasn't another choice, but already then Sav had had that nightmare or whatever it had been, and Jani should have understood that he wasn't the only one with needs.

Beating himself up wouldn't help, but his suggestion that they talk might. Jani reached for Sav's hands. "First of all, thank you for explaining," he began. It felt like a tightrope walk, but he had to do this. "Second, you didn't do anything wrong." Jani hesitated. "Maybe neither of us did," he continued softly. Although he was still afraid that his reaction had ruined everything, he could be wrong, too, not only Sav. "I thought you didn't want to talk about it and that, well, I told you I have a temper and I didn't like that. Now I understand a little better what was going on, so thank you again for telling me."

Right, that was the easy part. Now how should he react to what Sav had actually told him? "When I said I'd like to meet your band, I meant just that. I'm not interested in sex with anyone other than you. As for shop talk," he cringed, "it's what I do, I'm afraid, and," Jani held Sav's eyes, "I wouldn't do either of us a favour if I promised to not discuss gear with Phil and Viv should I meet them. Just know that if you're not that much into it, doesn't make you a bad musician or any less worthy. Not in my book and not in anyone else's who'd count."

Jani smiled. "When you gave me a rundown of your rig in Milan, remember that I said you made a difference? Well, you did. I enjoyed that a lot, and not only because it took my mind off my misery that day. I enjoyed it because you came across as being enthusiastic about your gear. I couldn't show you mine, but I didn't get the impression that you wouldn't have been interested. Maybe you think you're not interested in your colleagues' set-up, maybe you've played together for so long that it's, I dunno, habit, that you've seen it too many times to care about it much. I don't check out for example Make's rig often either. But..." He hesitated again. "Your coffee is getting cold. Should we sit down and talk? Forget about the DVD and all, this is more important."

* * *

"Thanks for not freaking out," Sav replied. He was more than happy to let Jani take his hands. It meant they weren't completely out of touch, literally and figuratively. "The last thing I want to do is try to change you or step on who you are, the good things, your interests and talents and what makes you, you. I've no idea why my mind jumped from one thing, to the other, to the other like that. I wasn't going to say anything but... it would probably have just become this nagging thought process if I hadn't." He felt somewhat lighter for having spilled his guts, though it didn't really solve anything yet. "Yeah, let's sit down somewhere... I was about to pour you a glass of orange juice."

He glanced at the kitchen table. It wasn't the most comfortable, but they'd talked there before.

* * *

"Likewise," Jani replied. "For listening. I take it that we both have, um, I guess one could say that there's room for improvement when it comes to us and talking. Coming after you to the kitchen... you said I was courageous earlier when we had sex and I, well, you know what we did. That was much easier than gathering up the courage to follow you here and speak to you. I'm glad that I did and I'd like to think I could do that in the future, too. I want to learn to talk... to communicate with you. To understand you so that next time you say something that could be misinterpreted by me I get it right. To understand you also so that I can better express myself in a way that you won't misunderstand whatever I say. To always remember to ask you when I'm not sure what you meant instead of assuming that you're annoyed with me. To try to be patient and listen, to keep in mind that the nagging thought processes you mentioned hurt you as well, so it'd be nice if I could make you feel secure enough so they don't develop. And to always be honest and open with you."

Jani sat at the table and Sav joined him after pouring him a glass of juice. He didn't miss the irony that he'd just told Sav that he wanted to be honest and open and already he wanted to hide that he _really_ wanted a beer or, preferably, something stronger. Likewise, Sav had just proclaimed that he didn't want to change Jani, when making him give up his drinking habits would be good for him.

"This isn't going to be easy," Jani sighed.

* * *

Sav couldn't help but marvel at the clarity of what Jani said. For all he held his lack of understanding English as partially responsible, he had no trouble communicating how he planned to do things, going forward. What it sounded like, Sav noted, was almost like Jani was reciting vows. No, of course not, he was thinking out loud, about how to make things better. While he nodded and pressed Jani's hands a couple of times, Sav let him finish without interrupting. They went to the table with their coffee and OJ and sat down.

"It's not all on you. I want to try to do that, too. We are..." Sav looked over, maybe for the first time seeing Jani as a stranger might: long red-dyed hair, tats, the facial features that Jani had complained about that Sav had only perceived as part of the overall person and never picked apart. Sure he wasn't a kid in reality but he was so young yet. Or Sav was so old. "...so different, in some respects. But we have common ground. And Jani, you don't annoy me. If I seem, I dunno, short sometimes, it's from a long habit of making sure I finish the conversation. With reporters, fans, groupies, the management, even my band... I don't let anyone take over control or soon enough, I'm signed up for shite I'm not into. If you feel like I've... dismissed you, it comes from that. It seems, and I never realise it till later, that I kind of do that a lot. That's something I need to work on. Now that we both acknowledge this is an issue, please, speak up if you're not finished."

"For you to say that you want to help me feel secure is almost beyond my realm of comprehension. With my band, I'm one of five equals. In previous relationships with women, well, I'm the man. The way I was raised, a bloke does not show weakness or any sort of vulnerability; I should be able to handle myself. Of course that philosophy is a crock of shite. You _were_ courageous to follow me in there, believe me I know, I was doing everything I could to stall for time. Point being, I'm not sure I know how to let you do that."

With a heaved breath, Sav met Jani's eyes again. "Humans are complicated, and they don't come with owner's manuals. Can we realistically understand each other completely even if we spend the next ten years in the same room? Good question." It was time to actually get into the things that were bothering them. "I'll be blunt: did you ask for a beer because you were retaliating to how I... quashed your talking about gear, or do you really crave one?"

* * *

Jani bit his lip. "I hate it when someone sees me in a weak position. Drunk off my arse is one thing because the folks I'm with in those situations are usually just as shit-faced as I am. With you... In Milan, I couldn't have fended for myself. Except for my mum when I was a baby I don't think anyone has ever seen me so helpless before. I... can't explain it. I was in shock, then medicated, not my normal self. In hindsight, I'm glad about that because otherwise I don't think I'd have let you close. All that, I still don't like it when you see my weakness but you took care of me, didn't take advantage. You saved my hand, my career. One could say at the very least I owe you. I like to think of it in another way as I don't like owing anyone anything, but I trust you. To such a degree that I don't hate myself for letting you see me when I'm down. Nor do I hate you for seeing me when I'm down." He took a deep breath.

"I'd never do anything to, um, _retaliate,_ especially knowing that you weren't attacking me. That's also kind of an answer to your question. No, I don't think it's realistic that we'll understand each other. But we can still try to. Never give up trying to understand, be patient when we don't get what the other is saying or doing. Try not to feel insulted by words or an action that we may have misunderstood. Always talk to each other." Jani swallowed.

"Sav, I... I was craving a drink. I... _am_ craving a drink." He looked down. "I don't like to admit it," he said quietly, "and although I told you to decide whether I get a beer or a soft drink I wasn't... am not happy with your decision. I know it's the right decision, though, and I'll stick with it." Jani met Sav's eyes again. "Thank you for that. For everything."

* * *

At least Jani didn't try to hedge, or avoid it. He had said he wanted to be honest, but easier said than done. Sav had to give him props for that. He nodded a 'you're welcome' and said, "I've seen for myself how hard, sometimes impossible, it can be to stop drinking. I... I'm not going to act as your parent or your enforcer as far as that goes. If you went to the fridge and got a beer, I wouldn't try to physically restrain you or anything. Not unless you had told me in no uncertain terms ahead of time to do so. I will... try to help you make the right decision and not sit in judgement if you don't. Lord knows how many empty bottles I've left in my wake plus the other drugs..." Once again, Sav was glad he'd never been a very heavy user which had made it easier to quit the drugs he'd tried. He got it, though. The burst of energy that came from snorting a line; or rolling, there was nothing like that... nor was the price to be paid.

"Now as far as your hand, your finger, I was happy to help. It was just basic human decency, we didn't know each other yet then. I'll admit, since we'd met once, and I knew you were – are – a guitarist, it made up my mind to take you to the A&E myself, not just put you in a cab or hand you off to event staff. I get that you're grateful, I would be, too, but really you owe me nothing. If we'd never spoken since, I'd feel the same." Shrugging, Sav took another drink of coffee. "Knowing you got medical care and you're fine is enough. And I'm glad you don't hate me," he smiled crookedly.

Jani had shared a lot, had exposed himself, so to speak. Sav owed him the same courtesy. "I don't want to be one of those suspicious, untrusting types. They make me sick. Finding myself acting that way... I wanted to throw up. We have to be able to both trust each other, and give each other a very long leash; there's no other way this can work."

He'd also picked up on something. Or maybe it was nothing, but he had to know. "What did I do or say that made you feel insulted? So I can try not to do it again."

* * *

"I'm not kidding myself with believing that I'll be able to play this weekend unless I'm hammered," Jani kept his eyes on Sav's. "And I don't think I'd accept it if you forbid me to drink, but I'll try to listen when you ask me to reconsider, like right now. I may not appear to be very grateful in such a moment, but believe me, I am." He smiled grimly.

"Before we get back to what went on earlier, this... what you said about not wanting me to be with another guy. That's on me, too. When we discussed groupies and touring, and you said that you didn't want me with a man and asked me to promise that, well, you know what I said. I don't want to be with another guy, but given my track record..."

Jani looked down, then up again. "Sav, I mean it. I don't want to be with another guy. That hasn't changed since our discussion back then. Something has changed, though, my feelings for you. And I now know how much this really means to you. So. I promise. I won't have sex with another man."

* * *

What Jani said next was totally unexpected. Sav took a deep breath in and closed his eyes. At the same time, he reached out blindly for Jani, finding his hands, or Jani found his, regardless. Shite, had his little hallucination or whatever the fuck pressured Jani into this? "Jani, are you really sure...? We agreed, sensibly I might add thanks to you, not to make promises we're not sure we can keep. Please don't do it if it's because I'm being a twat about it." But it was too late, Jani had already promised.

When Jani said his feelings had changed, Sav's guts dropped to his feet in a moment of dread. Was he about to be relegated to friends with benefits? But then he opened his eyes and understood the meaning of it for once, since he was close by and paying attention with every cell in his body. Jani meant it sincerely, he wasn't going to change his mind and back out of it; he only wanted Sav in that manner, even now knowing that he would be going without for a long time. "I... to be your only one is incredibly rare and special. I only hope I can make you feel how important you are to me. So much. It goes without saying that I won't either, not with any other man." True, Sav had promised in Helsinki, more or less, unwanted as it had proven to be at the time. He squeezed Jani's hands, wishing they had nothing further to discuss, but they did.

"As far as the drinking... I won't be at your gig this weekend so all I can say is be careful, and have your friends around. I know you will, and that they watch out for you." Jani had said, earlier, he needed to slow down; now he sounded as if he meant to quit entirely. There was a big difference between the two. Sav doubted that Jani would be doing a lot of drinking while doing his service; maybe it would sort itself out.

* * *

"I..." Jani bit his lip. "I promised because I wanted to. Because I..." He interrupted himself and got up. "Sorry, I need... I'll be right back..."

His hands were shaking and it felt as if his heartrate was going through the roof. Jani was familiar with pre-gig panic attacks and the physical exhibition was the same he felt now. At the same time it was completely different and he recognised it as being overwhelmed by his emotions. He still wanted a drink, very badly and increasingly so, but he thought of another solution as he raced up the stairs and to Sav's music room.

There she was. Jani closed his eyes and gathered Sav's blue Tokai in his arms. "Rakas," he whispered. Able to take a deep breath now, he carried her downstairs with him to the kitchen. His heart was slowing down and he felt calmer now, but how was he going to explain this to Sav? Or, to himself, for that matter?

* * *

Oh, no. Jani grew restless again. Not just restless but he stood abruptly, stuttered an apology and left the room. Sav was too surprised even to call after him, and it seemed like Jani's intent was escape so he probably shouldn't try to stop him. A moment later, Sav heard Jani's footsteps thudding up the stairs, so it wasn't something 'easy' like he got so nervous he had to pee, since there was more than one loo on the ground floor.

Trying to figure out what to do now, Sav hunched over in his chair. Jani had said he'd be right back. At least, then, he intended to return, but what was he doing? Packing? Weren't they past that now? Apparently pointing out their... status? ... as exclusive, or as exclusive as it could get in their world, had been too much.

He sat there awhile, becoming more and more aware of the hard wooden chair not doing any favours to his back. Sav decided he would go up there, if only to make sure Jani was physically okay. What he would say was another story. Just as he was about to stand, Jani reappeared, the guitar he'd chosen before with him. Sav looked up. "You're back."

* * *

This wasn't going well. Sav looked at him and said nothing, just stated that Jani was back. Jani's panic began to flare up again and he clutched at the guitar's neck. Why had he thought opening up was going to change anything? When he'd asked Sav what was going on, he'd received a reply that had raised his hope that they could fix whatever had happened a few minutes ago, but when Jani had lowered his shields, exposed himself completely, Sav hadn't responded the same way. And why should he have? Jani knew that he sucked at talking, so it wasn't surprising that Sav wouldn't know how to deal with whatever Jani had thought could make things better.

And now Sav was looking at him, waiting for an explanation Jani didn't have. Again, the impulse to run grew urgent, but if Jani was anything, he was stubborn. And he had... support.

"She..." he began in a trembling voice, cursing himself for sounding so emotional. "She helped me speak earlier. I'm still scared, like I told you. I can't do this alone. So... maybe... I thought... She..."

His mind was telling him to shut up and call a taxi to bring him to the nearest pub where he'd get drunk off his arse, then somehow make it to London, to the airport, fly home and erase every memory of Sav from his brain. What the hell was wrong with him?

* * *

"Mm. She..." What name had Jani given it again? 'Rakas'. Beloved. "She helped you." Whether it was because it was a musical instrument or some sort of security blanket, Sav got it, Jani couldn't do it alone, he was pleading for Sav's understanding and help. The first was easy, but fuck it if Sav knew what to do. Everything he said was always wrong. Be damned if he'd give up, though. At least he wouldn't have the regret of not trying, if it all went to hell.

"'Rakas', you called her. Beloved." He repeated his thought out loud. "That's also me. To you. Isn't it? And that's why you promised." Sav hesitated. God, he didn't want to fuck it up, and he hoped he remembered the words correctly. "I've felt that way... since the beginning. But yeah. It gets deeper... more. Rakastan sinua, Jani."

* * *

If he wasn't so tense with anticipation, Jani's jaw would have dropped. As it was, he could only stare at Sav wide-eyed. "You... you..." _understand?_ was what he wanted to say but couldn't get out. It was clear that Sav 'got it' and Jani didn't know what to say. Then again, maybe he didn't have to say anything. Sav confirmed that she, Rakas, heidän rakkaansa, had helped him, which meant that Sav knew Jani needed her help again now.

But Sav wasn't finished, and what he said next made Jani want to cry: not only did Sav remember the name Jani had given to the guitar, but also... "Rakastan sinua," Jani whispered, clutching at the instrument. He'd never be able to let go of her again.

"Minäkin rakastan sinua. Oh god, Sav..."

* * *

The cry to whatever deity pierced him. Jani's emotions had to be running rampant, out of control. It had been like that for Sav when he'd tracked him down in Finland. He'd thought then that what he felt could not possibly get any stronger but he'd been wrong. Knowing his lover actually... loved him, was so torn up over it, made Sav protective and restrained but wanting to somehow _show him_ all at once. But how?

Sav's eyes burned. He stood, and approached Jani slowly, keeping watch to make sure his closer presence was wanted. Jani had such a tight grip on the neck, Sav was glad that the old thing was built like a tank and nothing short of deliberately smashing it would destroy it. He wrapped his hand over Jani's. "Whatever you feel, however much you feel... just know that I do, too. Don't be... don't be afraid of it. Throw yourself into it... fall, fly... hold on to me."

* * *

_Whatever you feel..._ What Jani thought he felt first and foremost in this moment was that he was confused. He didn't doubt that he... loved Sav, and he didn't think he was afraid of the emotion itself. What it meant, however, was a whole different story. Loving Sav made him vulnerable, and that was something he was afraid of. Not what others would say or that anyone would judge him for loving a man. Also, not that he thought that Sav would ever intentionally hurt him, but during the short time they'd spent together, there'd been so many misunderstandings already, so many situations when he'd wanted to run and had got the sense off Sav that he also wanted to run – had actually run, that morning in Helsinki. To be fair, if Sav hadn't run that day, Jani would have.

Come to think of it, the only situations when they hadn't got themselves into some misunderstanding that hurt them both was when they had sex. The latest... Jani didn't even know what to call it, it wasn't a fight or quarrel... They'd talked. Tried to talk, at least, about what they liked to do, things that would be considered normal by most people. Going to the movies. Meeting friends. Playing cards, games, bowling, karaoke, Jani had told Sav, then confirmed that he'd like to meet Sav's friends, bandmates. Then, Sav had withdrawn his hand and... shut down, fled to the kitchen, at least that's what it had felt like to Jani. A simple conversation and he found himself – again – like walking through a swamp where s single step could get him sucked under.

"It isn't that I'm afraid of what I feel for you," he finally began haltingly. "I'm scared of screwing it up. I told you, I'm not good at talking and all that, relationships. I mean, consider the small amount of time we spent together altogether and the ratio of that time that we spent untangling all sorts of misunderstandings. So far, we've managed to stop ourselves from breaking up, but barely. _That's_ what I'm afraid of, and based on my past experience, this kind of thing won't exactly improve when we'll be on different continents."

Jani breathed in deeply. "The only way to solve this is to talk. Which I totally suck at, and it isn't because English is a foreign language for me, although that may add to it, too. That's why I left earlier, for her." He glanced at the guitar in his hands and forced himself to slightly loosen the hold he had on her neck. "I don't know why she helps me. Maybe because playing guitar is the one thing I actually know – and can admit – that I'm good at."

* * *

_What do you want from me?!_ Sav wanted to howl. He kept his mouth shut, struggling to find a better solution. It dawned on him that it wasn't a problem with what Jani wanted from him, but the reverse. He slowly let his hand drop, but didn't back away. "So... like many songs have alluded, love might not be enough..." he managed to say without choking. "It's true. We don't fight, don't argue but... I didn't listen, or steam-rollered you, or insulted you...?" Sav felt like he'd been kicked in the balls. Not only did he forever say the wrong thing, he put pressure on this young man to participate in a relationship he wasn't ready for. Or... Sav wasn't the right person.

Dammit, his voice was going to turn into a whine at this rate. He cleared his throat. "We've said... what we said. I want to make it right. Come... sit down over here. Hold on to... her," he suggested.

* * *

Again, Sav didn't react or comment on what Jani had said. Instead, he referred to the commonplace often expressed in songs that love might not be enough and confirmed that this may be true. Jani had hoped that Sav was going to agree with him and say something along the lines that they'd have to work for it, but he didn't. What he said was that he hadn't listened, asked if he'd insulted Jani.

Jani relaxed a little: Sav had already asked this earlier and it was important. Only, Jani had thought to lay Sav's worry about him being with another man at rest first. Maybe that had been the wrong decision, maybe Sav had thought that Jani wanted to evade the topic. Here was his chance now to go back to what had happened earlier, clear up what had had to be a misunderstanding. However, before he could say anything, Sav announced that 'they'd said what they said.' End of discussion, like before.

Sav also said that he wanted to make it right. Jani wasn't sure if he believed that this could work, but he believed Sav. Mere 'wanting' wouldn't make it right, though, he knew that much. If it were enough, Jani wouldn't have a long list of exes who'd ended things with him because just wanting to make it right hadn't cut it.

His mind racing, Jani sat down as Sav had offered. He caressed the guitar's neck, ran his fingers over her fretboard, played a few notes. Then he looked up and met Sav's eyes.

"No. I'm not ready to be dismissed – or is this our next misunderstanding? 'We've said what we said,' you say. To me that sounds as if it's the end of the discussion. Did you mean that? Do you want that? Because I think that this is where the discussion should begin. That what we said is maybe not what we meant, how the other perceived it. But the only way to find out is if we talk. And yes, I'm more than aware of the irony." Jani laughed bitterly.

His fingers found the intro to Replica.

_"...I'm taller when I sit here still, you ask are all my dreams fulfilled..."_

He kept on playing, pouring his anxiety into his hands.

_"Are you gonna leave me, is my world now over..."_

"Sav, please talk to me." Jani's voice was shaking.

* * *

Jani sounded... angry. At the very least, annoyed. Listening to him vent, Sav decided that he would try, would keep talking. Again. Before he could answer, Jani played and sang lines from a Sonata song. He recognised it: Replica.

"Yes... I want to. Talk. To you, with you. When I summarise something, I'm not... dismissing you. Or the discussion." Sav also took a seat. "Specific to 'said what we said', by that, I meant..." he really had to think about it, to get it into words, "that we can't un-say it or pretend we haven't. Well, we _can_ , but we'd each know better. I... when you promised I'd be the only man you'd be with, you can't believe how, for one shining minute, how happy it made me." Blinking rapidly, he pressed on. "And then... I wondered... had I pressured you into it. And you said no, that you said it because you meant it. I do hear you. And I... appreciate it. So much. That you'd be willing to put your word on it."

* * *

"That's not what I meant," Jani said. "I'm not talking about unsaying things or pretending that we haven't said something. When you say something and I don't react the way you expected me to, it doesn't mean you said something wrong, something that should be unsaid. It's more that we should both be aware that what you said and what I understood could be very different. English is not my native language, I'm not used to this talking-in-a-relationship thing, I don't know you very well, and there could also be some cultural differences. So if you say something I wouldn't expect you to say, I should ask you to explain what you meant with that. And if I react weird, maybe you could ask me what I think you said. Same goes for anything I might say that you think is off."

Jani kept playing, picking chords while he was speaking. Without amp, the sound of the guitar was so soft that it was barely audible, but playing helped his frayed nerves.

"You haven't pressured me into anything," he replied to Sav's fear. "I'm not sure you could pressure me into anything short of blackmailing me and I know you wouldn't do that. Whoever tried that wouldn't like the outcome," he explained darkly, "but that's not you. I must admit that the concept of... jealousy... I don't think I've ever been jealous, so this is a little strange for me. I can relate to it from the intellectual side, but I've never experienced it myself. Please believe me that it doesn't mean I don't care. I do care, a lot. And I trust you."

* * *

"Until recently, like these last few minutes, I didn't understand that you thought I was... telling you to shut up or whatever." Sav shifted on his chair, thinking about how to avoid that. "I will... try not to change the subject when the last isn't resolved. And like you said, ask you what you got out of it, meaning-wise."

And now for an uncomfortable topic, since Jani had brought it up. "Jealousy... I don't understand it even intellectually. It's a primitive, Neanderthal response, it smacks of some common domestic violence horror story. That's never been me before, I swear. All I can tell you is, there it was. I only want to be with you like that, and I... I guess I wanted you to feel the same. Then you told me, several times now, that it's the same for you; you've calmed my fears. Honestly?" Sav leaned back, sighed, and then reached over and touched Jani's knee just briefly. "I never want to have that reaction again. Now that it's been aired, I can work on my thought process. Blackmail?" He raised his eyebrows. "No. I only want what is real."

* * *

"Thank you. And I'll try to not interpret a potential change of topic as instruction to shut up from now on." Jani smiled, feeling relief wash over him. "Then, jealousy. When I said I can relate to it intellectually, I don't mean I understand it. What I was trying to say is that I know what it means and I'm aware that it can be a problem. Just clearing this up so we don't have another misunderstanding on our hands." He thought for a moment, then continued. "I'm not judging you for your feelings or fears. If you should ever feel... uneasy or insecure about this again, ask me so I can calm your fears again."

The thought struck him that what he'd wanted to ask Sav earlier could also help to allay Sav's fears. Should he bring it up? Jani blushed and looked down. "Um, there's something I meant to ask you..."

* * *

"Likewise," Sav replied. It seemed like the worst was over. He hoped so. They probably hadn't sorted all their 'problem children' yet. Now that they had some sort of understanding and strategy in place, it should go easier. "As in, not judging you either, and tell me if you need reassurances. I'd only ever not want to talk if we were somewhere very public or otherwise possibly overheard, or on a deadline, like someone's gig starts in one minute, that sort of thing."

Throughout all this, Jani had been playing the guitar. Without it being plugged in to an amp, Sav could barely hear it other than the scrape of the pick against the strings and occasional snatches of songs when neither of them was speaking. If it helped Jani's nerves, well, that was all that mattered. Perhaps it was simply the act of playing, more than hearing the music, for him. It seemed Jani still had more on his mind to discuss. Whatever it was, was making him squirm and blush. "Sure... What is it?"

* * *

He had only this one chance to get his request out, Jani thought, because in a minute he'd lose his courage. Not that he knew how to formulate it... Okay, he had an idea and it was probably a bad one...

"Um, Sav," he began, "will you forgive me if I make a really bad joke here, but would the... jealousy that you no longer feel... also apply to... inanimate objects? Not speaking of a guitar here, more of a... toy that... in me... if you could show me how to use it..."

* * *

Inanimate objects? Immediately Sav's mind jumped to the guitar Jani was holding, but Jani must have anticipated that. So what did he...? Toy? 'In' him? Oh! Sav had brought up such things before, including the fact he had a few in his closet, but Jani had never expressed any interest as far as Sav could tell. He must have needed time to think it over.

"I hope to never feel like that again but... no, I wouldn't get jealous of a sex toy," Sav chuckled. If Jani actually preferred it over Sav on a regular basis, that would be one thing, but he didn't foresee that happening. Not with what sex was like between them. "Such a thing has no mind, and no hands. That's what you mean by toys, right? Absolutely, I can show you. Um, now?"

* * *

"I... um, sure, why not?" Jani stammered. Why was he suddenly so nervous? He'd been more relaxed even at the prospect of having Sav's dick up his arse before the first time they'd done that. Was he afraid of not getting it up? Hell, he was younger than Sav and Sav had come already once more today than Jani, so why wouldn't he get it up? Of course, the more he thought about it...

 _Stop it,_ he told himself. Even though he wasn't hard right now, it wouldn't take much to get him there: if Sav as much as looked at his nipples... Jani shivered a little and to his relief, he felt his dick swell a little.

"Bedroom, I guess? More sheets to mess up." He winked.

* * *

"Yes... I imagine so," Sav grinned. Good thing he had more. "If you're ready, come upstairs with me... unless you need more coffee or something. I... think this is a wonderful idea, Jani." Sav stood and held out his hand.

* * *

"Okay," Jani said. He took the guitar in one hand so he could take Sav's with the other. He was still nervous, but now he was also aroused enough to be looking forward to what Sav was going to show him. On their way to the bedroom they passed by the guitar room and Jani carefully placed Rakas in her stand again. He smiled as he caressed her headstock, then followed Sav to the bedroom.

"Right then," Jani said. "Now, please have your wicked way with me." He grinned widely.

* * *


	6. Boys and their toys

* * *

"Right then," Jani said. "Now, please have your wicked way with me." He grinned widely.

* * *

"Oh, I will..." Sav followed Jani from the guitar room into his room, where he stood by the bed. Kissing Jani's cheek, he said, "Wait right here, okay?" and opened the door of the cupboard. He wasn't going to start waving vibrators and things around right away, not unless Jani was curious enough to ask. They'd get comfortable first. Retrieving the box of toys but keeping the lid on, he set it on the bedside table, then sat down on the bed and slid over so he was directly facing Jani and the younger man stood in the space between his spread thighs. Sav settled his hands on Jani's hips and looked up at him.

"So... I've never... instructed anyone else before. If you need to ask me anything, or want to stop, or switch, or anything, let me know. Alright?"

* * *

"So we're both new to this, then," Jani quipped. Sav's hands on his hips felt good, reassuring. So did his words. Jani nodded, knowing that if he could ever trust anyone with something like this it was Sav.

"I will ask if I have questions and let you know if I need a break or a slower pace or whatever," he said. "I'm a little insecure, as you've probably guessed, and I need your help here. You see, I could buy a... vibrator in Helsinki – I could always claim it's a gift for my girlfriend since I'm a touring musician," he laughed nervously, "but gathering up the courage to use it, I don't think I could do that. Not even my finger, I'm afraid, so maybe we could begin with that," Jani mused, "like, your finger guiding mine..."

He knelt down, then leaned forward and rested his head against Sav's belly. "You made it good for me earlier, helped me when I couldn't do it. I know you'll make this good for me, too. And if there's anything you'd like to try with me, I'll listen, of course."

* * *

It made sense that Jani wanted someone more experienced to help him through learning how to do himself. A week ago, he'd never had anything inside him, and had never considered it. "Yeah, or for me," Sav laughed, over the idea of Jani trying to find an 'excuse' for owning a vibrator, "since those two drunk blokes at Ankkarock thought I was your girlfriend."

It was true they'd have to work up to that. Toys came in different shapes and sizes, and Sav had a variety. "Fingers first, definitely. Start slow... it's a different experience, when you can feel what you're doing as well as what's being done to you... if that makes sense."

Jani leaned forward to rest his head on Sav's abdomen. It probably wasn't intentional, but the position was reminiscent of getting blown and his body took notice: warm waves of affection and lust broke over Sav. Since he'd already come three times that day, he doubted he could get all the way there and back-burnered his response. After a while, if it became an issue, he'd tell Jani not to worry about him. He petted Jani's hair for a moment, then invited, "Why don't we lay down up here now?" Reaching down, since it was convenient, he gripped the hem of Jani's shirt and pulled it over his head.

* * *

"Yeah, right, you're my girlfriend, I almost forgot." Jani snorted, grinning when he looked up. "I hope you won't mind if I still claim whatever toy I might buy – depending on the outcome of your, uh, instructions – is for my girlfriend. I'd tell you all about it, including a selfie of me blushing all over the place." He laughed.

Sav's hand on his hair felt nice. When the hand reached down to pull Jani's shirt off it felt even nicer. "Good thinking, let's lay down – hhmmpf," Jani nodded, then laughed again when his nose got caught in the collar.

* * *

"Oops..." Sav carefully pulled the shirt free where it had caught on Jani's nose, then leaned over and retrieved the box of toys, as well as lube and condoms from the drawer. Rubbers wouldn't be for protection, but Sav wasn't entirely certain of Jani's feelings about... cleanliness. It wasn't a problem for Sav. He didn't have a clean towel to set any used toys on, but he could use his shirt for that. Still, though, he was thinking far in advance.

Jani was crouched down in front of him. He was so... appealing like that, upturned face, now bare torso. Sav reached across the space between them and ran the tip of his finger around Jani's nipple, smiling when it pulled tight.

* * *

Jani was still laughing when Sav freed him. His smile faltered a little when he watched Sav take a box from the nightstand. He told himself that he could stop it at any moment if he didn't like what they were doing and relaxed again. Then Sav returned his attention to him. Their eyes met and every last bit of Jani's fear left.

No longer afraid, his main sentiment turned into desire when Sav reached out and caressed his nipple, making him sigh blissfully. "You know exactly how to make me happy."

* * *

Sav noticed how Jani's smile faded when he gathered up the supplies and toys. He'd leave that stuff alone now until things got a lot more heated; he just wanted them within easy reach.

If one hand – and nipple – was good, two were better. Sav caressed both little nubs for some time; Jani never failed to respond to his touches. When both nipples had hardened to tiny points and Jani was breathing faster through parted lips, Sav gave them simultaneous light pinches. "Does that make you... happier?" he grinned. Leaning back, he encouraged Jani to crawl up to him.

* * *

"Absolutely!" Jani grinned. "Stereo-happy." He stood and stepped forward to join Sav on the bed but hesitated. "How about I undress all the way first? I'm sure you'll have an idea to make me even happier than I'm already now. Maybe I can come up with something you'd like, too."

* * *

"Yes, I'd like that, a lot." Seeing Jani's increased confidence pleased Sav, and he smiled up at him as he stood. Jani had never been excessively shy about taking his clothes off, even their first time, and his participation had always been willing or it wouldn't have happened. This was different, with Jani volunteering to bare his body before Sav's eyes and more, either touch him or creatively get him naked or something. He couldn't wait to see what Jani had in mind.

* * *

Jani shrugged out of his pants, Sav's knickers, and socks unceremoniously and threw them on the floor, then he sat on the bed. "What about you? Do you want a hand with your shirt?" Sav's shoulder must still be hurting, yet Sav seemed to have managed alright with his clothes. Jani thought he could at least offer to help him get undressed.

* * *

It took Jani about five seconds to strip off and drop all his remaining clothes to the floor. It was clear that the thought of making a show of it hadn't crossed his mind. Sav appreciated his naked lover none-the-less, taking care not to be obvious about it.

"That'd be nice," Sav responded to the offer of help with his shirt. He sat up again, next to Jani, and accepted his assistance. Now that he was familiar with the maneuver of pulling the shirt up and over his head collar-first, it was easy enough between the two of them. Sav shook out his hair and tossed it back. "Thanks. I suppose I should take my pants off, too," he chuckled.

Instead of reaching for his belt, though, he leaned over and licked one of Jani's nipples, then sucked. It was gratifying to see his dick fill out and begin to rise. Good. Sav hadn't really touched him before, when Jani wasn't already fully hard. This time, he'd enjoy the process, which, knowing them, wouldn't take long anyway. He ran his fingers down Jani's side and diagonally down to his groin, where he held the swelling organ loosely inside his curled fingers, able to shift the foreskin back as the head appeared.

* * *

"Nnnhhh!" Jani's head fell back when Sav took his nipple in his mouth and sucked. Immediately, his dick went from moderately interested to very eager. "Thought you were going to undress," he gasped. "Not that I'm complaining, though!"

Now that he'd taken Sav's shirt off, Jani decided to reciprocate. Still struggling for breath under his lover's ministrations, he flicked Sav's nipples with his thumbs. "D'you like this, too?"

* * *

Something tapped both of Sav's nipples quite firmly, and he gasped in surprise, freezing. In his hand, Jani's erection expanded to full-sized. Slowly, barely moving, he caressed the shaft, tightening and loosening his grip. "I don't always do what I'm told," Sav replied. "Even when I 'tell' it... I'll get to it soon."

As for having his nipples played with, just the one flick wasn't enough to determine like or dislike. He was leaning toward like, which, he knew, was a far cry from what the same sort of treatment would do to Jani. "I dunno yet if I like it, do it again!" Once had been enough to shock him into awareness. He mimicked what Jani had done with one hand and wiggled upward, licking a trail up his chest and throat to his lips. Remembering not to be so rough till later, he flicked again, using his middle finger instead, the fingernail, but lightly.

* * *

"My pleasure," Jani grinned. "Only, let me..." He leaned forward and lapped at one of Sav's nipples while circling the other with his left hand. Both buds tightened under his gentle touching and licking, but that didn't yet prove that Sav liked it. Maybe Sav was a little cold after taking his shirt off, which would account for stiff nipples, too. He didn't tell Jani to stop, though, so Jani continued to lick and caress Sav's chest.

With Sav gently wanking him and playing with his nipple with his free hand, Jani soon needed all his concentration to keep his ministrations tender. Being stroked and having his chest loved felt so good! If he'd been apprehensive, afraid of not being able to get it up, that concern had dissolved into nothingness. And Sav's nipple tasted so good! Slightly salty and purely Sav. Jani couldn't help himself humming a little as he sucked gently on the tiny tit.

* * *

"Oh god... my pleasure, too, mmm!" Flicking was alright, but Sav really liked Jani's tongue there. "Feels really good, hot, when you lick." Sav's nipples didn't usually respond physically to anything but cold; having them pull tight and hard because of heat and stimulation was different. Yes, he definitely liked it! He felt a rush of blood south and told his junk to settle down. No use getting all excited if he couldn't finish.

Meanwhile he continued to stroke Jani's velvety-hard erection, but decided he should take his kit off now. "Need another hand," he groaned, mock-complaining, and reached for his button.

* * *

To say that Jani was extremely pleased with Sav's reaction was a colossal understatement. Maybe he even felt smug, but what he really liked most about it was that he'd found something Sav enjoyed and apparently hadn't been aware of before. Just like Jani hadn't had the slightest clue as to the incredible sensations his prostate could provide. Wondering if he should suck a little harder or give the second nub a little pinch, too, Jani was spared the decision when Sav announced that he needed another hand.

"Huh?" he asked, momentarily distracted from being fondled so nicely himself in addition to playing with Sav's nipples. Looking first up, then down, it took Jani only a second to understand that Sav wanted to get out of his pants.

"Yeah, I guess you'd better," winked Jani, "unless you want to risk strangling the goods. Did you have one of mine in mind when you were asking for another hand?"

* * *

"It's just sometimes a person could use a few more hands and mouths, know what I mean? Like, keep doing what I'm doing but not have to stop to undress. My fault for not doing that already... and yeah, if you'd like to help... can't get enough of yer 'ands on meh..." Sav heard his own voice go raspy and lapse into local dialect. He'd have to watch himself. "Your hands."

Now that he'd had it, he didn't want to lose Jani's mouth and tongue working his nipples either. Maybe it was a good thing that he had forgot to take his jeans off. He reminded himself that Jani had asked to be shown how to pleasure himself with toys. Sav could have easily laid back and let Jani play with his nipples for hours, but some other time. Jani was right about him not wanting to strangle anything, though. By now, he was about half hard, but the way his balls were protesting he'd risk their wrath if he tried for another orgasm. Jani, though, that was another story. His erection was eager in Sav's hand, and he was probably aroused enough he'd want to be touched elsewhere. In just a moment, as soon as Sav was naked. Canting his hips, he sucked in a breath as he felt Jani's fingers.

* * *

Jani chuckled. "I think I'll want at least four hands soon, one each on my nips, one on my dick and one, well, where you're about to teach me to put it. Unlike you, I had the good sense to get undressed at the opportune time." He grinned.

"So, feel free to command my hands and mouth while I'm still here. Where would you like them most?"

* * *

"You might need to settle for two hands and a mouth but I'll do my best," Sav returned. His one hand sped up just a little, and he leaned forward to kiss Jani's lips, once and then again. "Yeah, you have more sense, I got distracted by wanting to get my hands etcetera on you."

Jani wanted a command? He'd get it. "Take me out first..." Sav dipped his eyes down. "And... I'm planning to take really good and thorough care of you but if you can get that hot mouth of yours on _my_ nips, I'll take as much of that as you can manage." He grinned. "And if you're too busy moaning and screaming, that's okay."

* * *

"Well, it looks as if you don't need my hands – nor yours – to unbutton," Jani commented dryly. "It's probably good that I'm the one who likes button-fly jeans, not you. If all your buttons behaved like this one, you'd walk around with an open fly all the time. Not that I'd mind," he grinned. "Since you have a zipper, however, I'll have to help."

He reached for Sav's fly and shook his head. "Sorry, man, but I think you'd better get up for this. You're so nice and hard that I can't seem to pull the tab down here." Jani laughed. "I never imagined undressing each other was so complicated." He blushed. "You see, with my, um, girlfriends, by the time we reached the bed, we were usually at least down to our underwear if not entirely naked. Sorry if that's too much information."

* * *

"Nah, it's cool. I don't mind, and I'm being silly about who's taking my pants off anyway. I'll do it." Sav slithered off the bed and then pushed the rest of his clothes down to his ankles. Cooler air swirled around his junk as he slipped – or bounced – free and he breathed a sigh of relief.

"There, that's better." Kicking his feet free of the tangle, he laid down again next to Jani, turning on his side. "Mmmm..." Sav wrapped his arm around the younger man's torso, reaching down between them again with the other hand and sliding one leg between Jani's. Every time he touched the man, it was like some deep-seated hunger opened up and roared in him, and there was no satisfying it. Yes, temporarily, but he doubted it would ever be enough.

For now, Sav contented himself with more deliberate strokes up and down Jani's erection. Heated blood surged in tight flesh within his fist. He rubbed Jani's back, almost massaging it, pressing his fingers into the muscles beside his spine as he worked his way down, lower.

* * *

Another misunderstanding? "Erm, that wasn't a complaint. I _wanted_ to take your pants off, just not hurt you in the progress," Jani said. "Well, next time." He swallowed when it hit him again that their time together was limited to the very near future.

"Anyway, main thing that counts is that you've got them off now," he grinned and leaned forward. "So we can return to..." Jani lapped at Sav's nipple, "...doing this..."

He wrapped his lips around the stiff nub and sucked on it, then teased it with his tongue tip for a while before gently rubbing the other nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

"You said you like it, well, firm, down there," Jani said, glancing down to Sav's erection. "Should I go a little rougher on these guys, too?" He gave the nipple a soft pinch.

* * *

Damn his impatience. When Jani had said stand up, besides his dick of course, Sav had taken that as a signal to hurry. "Oh, sorry. Like you said. They're off now."

He'd been stroking Jani lazily before. Now Sav slid the foreskin all the way back and swiped his thumb over the head, across the slit and down to the little notch, which he traced lightly.

Jani attached himself to one of Sav's hard little nips, as they'd been calling them out loud, and sucked. Again Sav was surprised by how much the hot, wet sensation turned him on. "Yeah, more... harder," he moaned. "Don't break the skin, but otherwise..."

* * *

Hissing and gasping when Sav went from stroking him softly to playing with his foreskin and slit, Jani stopped suckling Sav's nipple and got both hands on the tiny buds that stood erect from Sav's chest. "I guess I'd better keep my mouth off these while you're doing such things to me," he moaned, "so I don't bite you accidentally."

Restrained by his sitting position, his hips made small thrusts as he rolled Sav's tight nipples between his thumbs and forefingers, pinching then now and again, harder every time, but watching Sav's face closely so he could stop before hurting him. With his own growing arousal, Jani found it more and more difficult to concentrate, though.

"I... think that you'd... better go easy on me if you want me to continue this," he pressed out.

* * *

"Working too well again, huh?" Sav asked, a little breathless himself. Jani's mouth was his favourite on his nipples, but they responded to the plucking and pinching, too. He drew his hand away from Jani's groin, but was determined it wouldn't be for long.

"Would you like to lie down all the way now? I believe I have a thing or two to show you, if you're still into it." Reaching his hand up to the top of the bed, Sav found the lube and also brought the condoms and toys closer. "We'll start easy... fingers. My finger first." Where Jani could see every move, he slicked up his index finger.

* * *

"Absolutely," Jani nodded vigorously. "Again, I'm not complaining, but since we have plans to, um, get me off in a, well, different way, it's probably better to give my dick a little less love," he groaned.

When his eyes fell on the toys that Sav was pulling closer, Jani moistened his lips nervously. He really wanted this, but the thought of having something, an _object_ inserted into his body was still a little scary to him. "If we lay down... If _I_ lay down and you get to, um, work on me down there, I don't think I can still reach your chest," he tried to distract himself.

"I'd promise to get back to it later, but knowing how thoroughly exhausted I always am after you've, um, taken care of me, I might have difficulties keeping that promise, if you know what I mean." Jani smiled a little. "I don't want to disappoint you and won't, just warning you that I might need a minute to recover later."

* * *

For the time being, Sav didn't take anything out of the box. Jani was aroused but his nerves were showing, too. "Don't worry about me, not at all," Sav said softly. "I'mma get a lot out of... showing you... helping you. Don't forget, I've already gone three rounds today. You won't disappoint me, no matter what. Even if you stop me, which is always an option if you need to." He'd probably already conveyed that. Jani needed to feel secure and empowered, though. Sometimes being 'allowed' to say no or stop was the best way.

Stretching out further, Sav smiled up at Jani, waiting. Making sure to keep the finger he'd lubed away, he ran the palm of his hand and remaining digits over Jani's side, his hip, his thigh, then up again.

* * *

"I know, and I trust you," Jani said sincerely. "If I don't feel comfortable, I'll tell you, rather than, like, man up or do any other macho bullshit. I couldn't do this with anyone but you."

He laid down and Sav stretched out alongside of him, smiling, his hand caressing Jani's side. "So how do you suggest we do this?" Jani asked. "Do you want me on my back, front, side, legs pulled up?"

* * *

"On your side so we're facing... put your leg that's on top, up on me." Sav made sure his position on his side was stable, with his legs straight down but the knee on the lower side bent, then patted the part of his thigh closest to the ceiling. "Your other leg on the bottom can be bent just a little, too, or not, whatever's comfortable."

Lube would be key. Jani had become used to it being a fact of them having sex, even referring to it as 'slick', so Sav didn't think that Jani would freak out about seeing it up close. Without comment, he set the bottle of it down on the sheet, close to his own belly.

* * *

"Okay." Jani smiled and moved into the position Sav had suggested. The toys themselves were still in the box and it looked as if Sav was in no hurry to take them out. Again, Jani told himself that he could have them stop at every time. Still...

"I feel stupid for being nervous," he confessed. "Right now, when you'll start with your finger, that won't be any different from when you, um, prepare me, won't it? So I know how that feels – incredible and fantastic, by the way, if you didn't read that from my, um, enthusiastic reactions," he grinned. Why was he talking so much?

* * *

"It will start the same, yeah." Not for the first time, Sav found Jani cute, this time for his talkativeness. Maybe it was a silly thing to think about a grown, naked, aroused man. It kept his mood light. Things would get more intense soon.

Now that Jani was in position, Sav reached out and, starting with his slit, traced a line down the vein on his dick, to his balls. Giving them each a quick circular rub with his thumb, he kept going, back, back, a little at a time, along Jani's perineum. He could feel the change in skin texture, then the tightly closed little opening. Hearing Jani's breathing go shallow, Sav waited a moment, leaning forward to kiss Jani's lips. Now he used the finger that was coated in lube, pressing in just a tiny bit. He found little resistance, more like acceptance, and pushed the finger in slowly, to the knuckle. "You okay?"

* * *

Sav's hand moved down to his dick, caressed his balls, traced behind them until it reached his entrance. This part wasn't new and Jani enjoyed it, but with a different kind of anticipation than when he was mentally preparing himself for Sav's dick. Still, it felt good. Jani smiled.

Then Sav circled his entrance with his finger and leaned in to kiss him. Their lips touched and Jani's hole twitched. He knew he was ready. Sav knew it, too, as he slid a first finger in to the knuckle. Before, when they'd reached this point, Jani had always been so aroused already that he was moaning and begging for more. This time, he was... he wasn't even sure if he was aroused. A part of him 'just wanted to get it over with', so he knew what it was about, then enjoy it the next time. Only with Sav leaving on tour, there wouldn't be a next time – at least Jani didn't want to 'waste' precious time with toys when he could have the real deal, Sav's dick inside him.

"Feels good," he answered Sav's question, then added, "If I don't sound very enthusiastic yet, try that spot and, well." He blushed. "I think we both know what will happen."

* * *

"Oh yeah, I'm sure we know," Sav grinned in return, "and you seemed enthusiastic a moment ago..." He applied lube to his middle finger, and began the ritual of pulling at the ring muscle, stretching, wiggling the middle finger in. For whatever reason, be it Jani's anatomy or his own fingers, Sav found it much easier to locate his spot once he got two fingers inside.

Staring into Jani's eyes, seeing the anticipation, Sav rotated his wrist a little... there was that little bump. He stroked it lightly, teasing without applying hardly any pressure. If Jani was to learn how to do this for himself, Sav would need to hold off on letting him come. "Found it..."

* * *

"Nnhh..." Jani's head fell back and thrashed on the pillow. "Thanks for... telling me," he moaned. "I wouldn't have noticed otherwise." He didn't really want Sav to stop but was glad when he did nevertheless. "So, now that my enthusiasm is back, what do I do?"

* * *

Sarcasm. Now Sav had proof positive that Jani understood it and used it himself. But then, horny Jani, not to mention out-of-his-mind-needing-to-come Jani, versus other versions of him Sav had encountered, were very different animals. Watching Jani's reaction to being touched inside sent the same bolt of lust through him it always did. "I'm quite sure you noticed, or your sweet spot did," Sav snorted. "Now... your finger joins mine; get one slick, first or middle, your choice."

* * *

"Middle finger is the classic, right?" Jani quipped. He reached for the lube and squirted some of it on his finger. "Maybe I should reconsider this – just kidding, but there's a chance that I'll regress to being a thirteen-year-old in yet another meaning. As in playing with myself all day."

He finished slicking up his finger. "Okay, I'm ready. I think." It was so obvious what he was supposed to do next that Jani felt ridiculous for this but he needed Sav to actually tell him to.

* * *

Sav laughed a little. "'Playing with yourself all day.' It happens to the best of us... just wish I could be around to watch." He loved touching Jani, being with Jani, yet the prospect of seeing his lover pleasure himself was... exciting. No time like the present.

Jani got his finger slicked with a generous amount, but made no move to breach himself. This didn't surprise Sav, as he'd said he'd need to be guided. His eyes were on Sav's face, open, expectant. "I'm gonna take one of my fingers out now, leaving one... what I need you to do then is slide your finger in to replace it." Sav kept his voice low, even. He did as he said, pulling his middle finger out slowly to make room for Jani's.

* * *

"'kay." Time to man up, Jani told himself. Now he found himself faced with a logistical problem: Should he move his hand behind his back and work from there or do it from the front?

"Um Sav," he began, "could you... I dunno..." Time to man up indeed! Jani took a deep breath. "Don't answer if it makes you uncomfortable..." One day they'd crack up laughing about this unless they died from embarrassment first. " When you, um, do this to yourself, do you, well, go in from front or behind?"

* * *

Oh, man! Some teacher he was. If he weren't sort of busy, Sav might have smacked his own forehead in exasperation. He should have explained front or back already. "Either works, you might have some trial and error... I usually go at it from behind. The reach is a bit less, and a person can arch their back to make it even less." Also, since Sav's hand was already taking the front approach, it would give Jani more room.

Though it wasn't as easy with one finger, Sav found Jani's prostate with the pad of his index finger and pressed, enough to remind him it was going to feel regardless. Leaning forward, he kissed Jani's collarbone. Maybe it would be easier for him to take the plunge, so to speak, if Sav wasn't staring at him.

* * *

Vittu, what was he, a frightened virgin? Jani sure felt like it, but that was too much to admit, even to Sav. So, in from the back, then. Now that he knew what he was going for, he didn't linger but moved his hand down his back, where he found Sav's.

Sav, meanwhile, had turned to lick Jani's collarbone. It felt fantastic and Jani sighed happily. As much as he was tempted to lay back and enjoy, he wasn't going to stop what he'd begun. After taking another deep breath he slid his finger into his hole.

It was almost an anti-climax. He'd had two of Sav's fingers there and knew how to relax, so he didn't encounter any resistance. What was new was that he could feel the tight rim, but other than that, everything was almost painfully unspectacular, except maybe that his body position was a little tense.

As for the next step... "Um, Sav, I'm again not sure how this is going to work. I'm supposed to... no, I _want_ to try and touch that... thing... myself, but, well, your finger... it's... kind of... in the way... And then... mine is, like, turned the wrong way I guess..."

* * *

"Right, the first main thing was to get you to, um, inside yourself, and you're there." Sav beamed. A lot of men, straight men especially, went their entire lives without trying it. "I'll move my hand, and you can... feel around... try different angles. It'll be on the front, closest to your belly. A bump, kind of spongy. My hands aren't huge but I have no trouble reaching it." If that didn't work, Sav would bring out a toy next. First, though, Jani should have the chance to finger himself in a no-pressure environment. "If you need me to do, or not do anything, please keep telling me."

Okay, so Sav wasn't inside now. Instead, he continued his treatment of Jani's collarbones and neck, kissing and licking, taking his sac in his hand and rolling the stones gently.

* * *

Sav withdrew his finger and focused on his collarbone and balls. It felt heavenly and if Jani had ever had any worries about not being aroused enough they were more than laid to rest by his stiff – and somewhat neglected, but for a good reason – erection.

Jani did what Sav had suggested he do, but found confirmed what he'd thought a moment ago. "This doesn't work, my finger won't bend backwards. I'll try from the front."

* * *

"Mm-hm, okay..." Sav adjusted his arm to keep out of Jani's way as he tried the new approach. He glanced up. The younger man's face was pure concentration. "That's it... since it's just you now, add another finger, slick it first, when you're ready. Try rotating your wrist and sort of sweeping side to side, and higher and lower till you find it."

He wouldn't stroke but damn, with the other hand free now, he couldn't keep it off Jani's erection. Just the feel of the silky-hard texture made Sav moan, and it pulsed in his hand. It would be temporary, once the toys came out. "I love your dick!" he blurted.

* * *

"Um, I think I'll stick with one finger and try to find the, er, thing first," Jani explained as he pulled his finger out. "If I'm guessing right, I'll want the second finger a, um, second after that," he winked, feeling a lot more comfortable than he had only minutes ago: Now that he'd actually managed to slip a digit up his arse, doing it again and adding a second would be easy.

He felt even better when Sav got his – now free – hands on Jani's erection. "Mmmhhh..." the younger man all but purred. However, Sav's hand was a little in his way now, and Jani decided to change his position and turn onto his back, so that they had more space.

Arching his back for better access, he closed his eyes and fumbled for his hole, smiling when it twitched under his touch, then slid his finger in. Like Sav had suggested, he rooted around a little...

"Fuuck!!!" Jani's eyes flew wide open when, yes... "Found it!" he gasped. There was a lumpy region maybe the size of a walnut with a little ridge in the centre that sent off fireworks of pleasure when he nudged it. He'd read up on the prostate, especially after his first time with Sav, so he'd known what to expect. Actually feeling it still felt strange, but the thought was immediately blotted out of his mind when he stroked the gland again. "Nnnnhhh...!"

* * *

Jani ignored Sav's little outburst which was fine with him, and rolled onto his back to give himself a better angle. The gasps, moans, arching his upper body – all of those signs told Sav he'd not only found but further stimulated his pleasure gland. Either accidentally or deliberately, the effect was the same. Sav reached up surreptitiously and retrieved a flesh-coloured vibrator from the box. It was about his same length but thinner. He hoped the batteries still worked.

"Doing so good, Jani..." he encouraged. Sav found himself arching when Jani did. He was fully hard now, too, though in no danger of letting go. Hitching himself over a bit, he moved his mouth down Jani's chest till he could lick the tiny pointed nub. Mm, salty. "Feels good, yeah?" he repeated, after a few moments of watching the rhythmic writhes, a thin sheen of sweat developing on Jani's chest. It was a beautiful thing, this dance of lust and desire played out on the guitarist's fingers.

Sav flicked the button on the end of the vibe, to the lowest setting. "Would you like a little something more...?"

* * *

After continuing to stroke the little lumpy patch for another minute, Jani felt what he'd mused about earlier, the desire for a second finger, which he now slid in alongside with the first. The stretch was noticeable, but not painful or uncomfortable; knowing what he was preparing himself for, Jani even enjoyed it. He touched _that spot_ again and told himself that he'd try a third finger in a minute. And then Sav, who'd been encouraging and praising him all along, attached his mouth to his nipple...

Busy with moaning and writhing, Jani only noticed the flesh-coloured... plastic dick in Sav's hand when he was asked if he'd like a little something more. He moistened his lips nervously. This was what he'd asked for and he wanted it, yet he wasn't sure if he could take this next step without help from Sav.

"I want it," he said, softly but with burning eyes. "But I think I... want you to do it for me. Is... would that be okay with you?"

* * *

Expecting that Jani would need his help with this, too, especially the first time, Sav spoke against Jani's chest. "Yes of course, that's fine. Doing it for you is good for me, too." He flicked his tongue out once more, then raised up a little on his elbow, enough so he'd be able to see what he was doing. The vibrator buzzed in his hand, and he quickly applied a thin layer of lube to it, then touched the back of Jani's hand with it. "I think you'll like this..." Sav dropped his voice further. "Can you move your hand for me, Jani?"

* * *

"Yes. Sure." Of course he'd have to remove his hand. Jani laughed nervously and pulled his fingers away. Immediately, he missed their presence, just like it felt when Sav 'prepared' him and pulled out before giving him the real thing. He smiled at the thought.

"You're probably right," he told Sav, "that I'll like it. Just like all the other stuff we did that was new for me." Sav was lying along his side and Jani wrapped an arm around him so he could pull him closer.

The mix of fear, trust, and arousal must be all over his face as Jani smiled wider. "Do it."

* * *

Like a tangible thing, Sav felt the level of trust that Jani was placing in him. When Jani said 'do it', he wanted so badly to just drop the toy and take him. But no, he himself had introduced the concept of using toys to release some of the tension brought about by needs Jani had never known before, that Sav had awakened in him. It was Sav's responsibility to give him a way to take care of those needs.

"Thank you... touching now..." Sav murmured. He guided the vibe so the tip touched Jani's hole. He could see the twitch and felt initial resistance, but only for a second. The toy wasn't much larger than three fingers but he still went in slowly, giving Jani time to adjust. Once again, he lapped at Jani's nipple, then sucked on it. Jani was moaning open-mouthed, his thighs wide and his hips moving subtly. With a toy, Sav didn't have his own live nerve endings to feel for the hot spot he knew would send Jani into ecstasy. A little at a time, he moved it in and out, changing the angle, more to the front, just a millimetre or two side to side, searching...

* * *

Thank goodness Sav didn't linger. As much as Jani enjoyed being teased, now wasn't a situation where he'd appreciate it; he was too afraid of losing his courage. But Sav got it. After announcing that he was going to touch Jani now, Jani felt the vibrating sensation against his hole. It twitched involuntarily and he tensed, more so when gentle pressure was applied, but Sav pushed the device through Jani's unintentional resistance.

Although he'd expected it, Jani gasped with surprise when the vibrator slid into him: it was colder and smoother than Sav's dick – the latter had made it easy for Sav to slide it in despite his tension – and there was, of course, the vibration. To say it felt weird was a gross understatement, but Jani didn't get to say anything or even think any further when Sav, who was rooting around for his male G-spot, hit pay dirt.

Jani let out a sound that was both a screech and a deep groan. His back arched and his toe nails curled as he dug his heels into the mattress. Myriads of nerve endings were stimulated, neurons fired wildly when pleasure raged through his body. It was too much and not enough at the same time – as in, it wasn't Sav's body in him; it felt somehow wrong and so, so right!

After what felt like an hour but couldn't have been more than mere seconds, Jani's balls and spermatic cords spasmed so violently that this time his ejaculation must have hit the roof for real. Jet after jet of white-hot lava flew from his slit as he moaned and gasped and howled his orgasm. His balls were aching and the pressure on his inner gland was too much, yet he kept shooting. Jani clutched at Sav's back because otherwise he was sure he'd lift off the bed, his entire body trembling hard from overstimulation.

"T-too... too much..."

* * *

At first, Jani's only reaction was a combination of shock and surprise, when Sav pushed the vibrator up and into him. Yes, it would feel different, not like skin, not human. And of course, the vibrating. All in all, more intrusive and foreign than any part of a person.

Knowing what that was like against one's prostate, Sav watched closely as Jani held on to him. He convulsed once, again; when the toy found his spot, he screeched so loud Sav almost laughed. It was no laughing matter, though. Sav meant to provide the most intense release Jani had had with him yet. Probably unconsciously, Jani was grinding down on the vibrator, pressing it against his sweet spot with his movements. Sav moved it in the same tempo, pushing it onto the gland he knew was there.

It didn't last long. Jani was so, so sensitive! He groaned like he was dying, his balls pulled up tight, and Sav watched in awe as white streaks flew from Jani's slit, flying an impressive distance then falling to make a hot sticky mess on both of them. It seemed like he'd never stop shooting; how did he produce so much?

Eventually, Jani did exhaust his supply and his pained noises sounded like actual pain. When he managed to moan that it was too much, Sav immediately turned off the vibration. He didn't pull the toy out, however, not yet. Jani would need it in place to clench on during the aftershocks. It was not pleasant to be suddenly empty. He did change the angle, so it wouldn't touch Jani's prostate again.

Pulling a blanket over them, Sav held Jani in his arms, letting him come down from the rush. By now, his body had gone slack, his face, too, like he'd passed out. "So incredible... Jani, my Jani, luv..."

* * *

"You... yours..." Jani managed to croak. Once again, he was utterly exhausted from coming apart under Sav's skill. The hand he had on Sav's back caressed feebly, but that was all motion he was going to be capable of for a while. Say, for a couple of decades.

His shields were down and his emotions, his love for Sav were so strong that they almost brought tears to his eyes – almost, but by now Jani wouldn't have felt bad had he actually begun to cry. He felt safe with Sav, trusted him with his life. It meant that he could also ask Sav, like he'd done before, for the only thing he needed in this moment.

"Hold me?"

* * *

It stood as a testament to how gone Jani was, that he asked to be held when Sav was already doing so. He slid his other arm under Jani's ribs to wrap him up fully, and tightened his hold with the other till they were chest to chest, body to body. Stroking Jani's hair, he murmured, "Yes of course, Jani, as long as you need..."

Now they were both smeared in Jani's spunk but Sav didn't mind. He could roll in it and it would make him happy, the warm fluid marking him as Jani's just as much as Jani declared himself as Sav's. He tried not to press his lower body into Jani's. The position made it impossible to keep any distance between them. Rather than rock his hips or writhe, Sav satisfied himself with the close contact and twined their legs together. Jani was utterly relaxed, heavy in his arms. Reminding himself that they had so little time, they hadn't had dinner and they needed to be up early, Sav let himself drift, semi-conscious.

* * *

"More. Closer." Jani's voice came out as a mumble, turning into a happy and relieved sigh when Sav not only hugged him but rolled them on their sides, maximising skin contact. "Yes, like that... You're perfect..." He smiled and enjoyed Sav stroking his hair. When Sav assured him that he'd hold him as long as he needed, Jani's soft smile turned into a grin. "That'd be forever," he said and laughed a little.

He felt good, warm and relaxed, in Sav's arms. Nothing could be better, except that Jani knew Sav had needs, too. He appreciated that Sav pushed those needs back on his behalf and for once he didn't feel guilty or undeserving for being so lovingly looked after. When his spirits slowly returned, however, Jani wanted to give Sav the same gift of happiness and love he'd just received.

"How about you?" he whispered, reaching out to smooth a strand of hair from Sav's face, then tracing his index finger over his cheek.

* * *

"Forever, yeah," Sav repeated in a whisper, coming out of his light doze. It struck him now, how he been instantly, insanely, stupidly attracted to Jani, had to be with him, make him his. They'd made a lot of mention to the coming months and years. By now, it would only be denial for Sav to say he wasn't in love with Jani. He wanted them to be together long term, maybe the rest of his life, but he'd never let himself think about it in those terms. All muzzy with afterglow, Jani might not be speaking of reality. He knew that. Sav pushed those thoughts aside for later consideration, when Jani traced the side of his face with one finger. The tender gesture was almost too much. Nobody but medical people had dared to touch the affected side of his face in years. It wasn't acting up now, but Jani had seen it at its worst already.

He was saved from having to choke back emotions when Jani asked what about him. That served to shift his focus downward. He turned his head and kissed Jani's fingers. "Well, I had thought there was no way, erm, but teaching you how to do yourself, seeing you get off so spectacularly... amazing, Jani." Sav rolled his pelvis just a little. No doubt Jani got the point – jabbing him in the hip. "Now if anything, I probably should or, let's say I'll be in for an uncomfortable night." He tempered that with a sheepish smile, "If you'd rather watch or just touch a bit, I can handle... things. Or if you want to take the lead, I'm good with whatever you'd care to do to me."

* * *

"I don't want you to have an uncomfortable night," Jani whispered. "And I guess I'm not sorry that what you did to me turned you on as well." He cocked his head and grinned.

"Now, was that... an... offer when you asked if I'd rather watch? I must admit that makes me curious, how you like to do yourself. Maybe we could make this an, um, team effort? With you, as you said, handling... things, and me touching a bit and watching – a lot. I think I'd like that, but only if you were serious in suggesting it."

* * *

Ah, good. If Jani had been too out of it to do anything but conk out, Sav would have understood. The fact that he wanted to either watch or join in with Sav's getting off was a bonus.

Now as to what Jani preferred, that was something Sav decided to try very hard to determine by reading Jani's cues. Lord knew he needed practice. "Any of those suggestions, I would be more than fine with, including if I do most of the, um, heavy lifting and you assist." He was almost sure that's what Jani meant, mainly reiterating to confirm. The last time he'd beat off in Jani's presence, it hadn't been well received. It hadn't been under the best of circumstances, Sav knew that now. He should have at least asked if his lover minded that he did so, or invited him to join in somehow. All he could do was communicate better, going forward.

Now, Jani had specifically asked to see him... either wank or otherwise make himself come, and there were toys in the mix, too. Or could be, if Jani wanted another demonstration. Sav made his bid: "Did you... want to see me use a toy on myself?" The idea put a crooked half-smile on his face and his dick throbbed, hard.

* * *

"The heavy lifting, huh? I take it that you mean your balls, heavy indeed." Jani laughed. "Of course I'll, as you put it, assist."

However, before he could ask what exactly Sav wanted him to do, he... offered to... use a toy on himself. Jani's jaw dropped as his mouth suddenly turned into the Atacama – the driest desert on earth.

"I..." Jani couldn't even form words. "I... Do I... want to see that? Hell, yes!"

* * *

"They are feeling heavy," Sav giggled. "A little raw, and I'm going to abuse them more soon anyway. Deliberately," he added, so Jani would be clear he wasn't asking too much. Another orgasm had been Sav's idea. The choice between that and trying to either function or sleep with a raging boner was no choice at all.

Okay, so maybe Jani hadn't been asking for that sort of performance but he sputtered quite enthusiastically at the offer. "Alright then..." Pulling the toybox closer, Sav lifted the lid and found his go-to device, also flesh-coloured but thicker, longer, and more anatomically correct than the vibrator he'd used on Jani. "I like this one best, but take a look in the box; if you want me to show you any of the other things instead, that's fine." He had a plug, a string of beads, a couple of cock rings in different styles, and a smooth, elegant, clear glass dildo. "We also have this little thing..." He also grabbed the prostate stimulator from where it was still resting. "It's like a... g-spot massager. For blokes."

Jani looked at all of it like it was a feast that never-the-less might bite him back. Amused, Sav grinned. He'd never had the opportunity to show anyone, well, anything besides straight-up fucking and he was really enjoying himself.

* * *

"N-no, that's fine," Jani said. "I'll go with whatever you like best." He scrutinised each object showed him and nodded at the explanations. "I'll want to see them in action one day, though, so I guess I'll just have to plan another visit. Which I intend to do in any event," he smiled.

"So this one, then." An idea was forming in Jani's mind, but... no, he wasn't ready for... that. "Is it okay if you handle the, um, is it a vibrator? I'll be happy to lend my hand and maybe my mouth, but I should probably get some practice with such a thing on myself before I, well, stick it in you." He blushed. "I don't want to risk hurting you."

* * *

"Mm-hm," Sav agreed with Jani's caution. He kissed him for his caring. "It does take a bit of practice for some of this. Just so you know, I'd stop you if I thought something was going to hurt me," he said seriously, then smiled again. "Your hands and-or mouth will be wonderful. Now, like I told you earlier, I usually go in from behind with the toys, or my fingers for that matter. But for today, I'll go from the front, so you can see... " Looking into Jani's eyes, he finished with, "Don't be afraid to ask questions, or try... things, if you're inspired."

Time to stop talking and start doing. Sav hitched his leg up over Jani's hip, though he considered that temporary if Jani planned to use his mouth, as in blow him, at some point. The lube was still in easy reach; he decided to start on himself, so that it didn't get all tacky on the toy while he prepped. He let it warm on his fingers a moment, then... reaching down, he bypassed his junk and traced the raised line of his taint till he reached his hole. It hadn't been penetrated by a toy or anything but his fingers for a long time, and would require some work.

One finger, two; Sav felt the beginnings of a burn and let Jani know how he was doing. Stopping for more slick, he began again with one, two, then added the third finger, moving them in and out, spreading them, then wiggling in his pinkie. "Oh gawd..." he groaned. "I always forget how fucking good it feels, even if it hurts a little." Tossing his hair back, Sav closed his eyes and picked up the vibrator, which he flicked on.

* * *

Although Sav had encouraged him to ask or try things, Jani could but watch in rapture as Sav prepared himself. He recognised that Sav went through the same steps he did when he got Jani ready for penetration, smearing plenty of slick around and in his hole and stretching the sphincter. However, intellectually understanding the procedure, even having it done to himself, and watching it were two entirely different things. This was all the more the case when Sav began to groan and tell him how good it felt. One day... maybe...

Then Sav picked up the vibrator he'd chosen and flicked the switch. The thing began to hum and Jani's breathing hitched. So far, he'd gathered from what Sav had told him that Sav also found it pleasant to have his prostate stimulated, yet the sex they'd had had never included it. Too worn out to become aroused again, Jani still felt very excited to see Sav's reaction. He unconsciously licked his lower lip when – another – drop of clear fluid formed on Sav's slit.

* * *

The vibration alone felt good against Sav's hole, and he knew it would feel better yet from the inside. Encountering the same type of resistance he had with Jani, he worked himself with small pushes and rotations till the head of the toy breached the ring muscle. "Fuck, fuck...!" he gritted, making himself relax, open and take it. Yes, it was totally weird and wrong at first, till his muscle fluttered into submission and accepted the invasion.

He moaned, loud and deep, from his gut. Sav also lifted the leg up so his knee was pointed at the ceiling, and so Jani could see the breach itself, the angle, the pace, everything. "Can you touch me? Anywhere... please?" he whined. "Gonna go for... the sweet spot..." Panting now, the thick vibrator stretching him wide, Sav moved the end of it backward slowly.

Just light contact with the vibrating toy against his prostate was enough to squeeze several drops of natural slick through his inner tubing. Not just that – Sav churned his hips which now sought out more of the pure pleasure for him. "Feels so good, Jani," he hissed, and increased the vibration a notch, "getting fucked with this thing... where I need it so bad..."

* * *

Jani watched with hungry eyes when Sav pushed the vibrator inside himself, hissing at first, but soon he was beginning to moan and grunt, obviously enjoying the sensations. Which could mean that... Jani's dick gave a little twitch, indicating interest but not energy.

It didn't take long and Sav asked him to touch him, anywhere. Thinking about it only for a second, Jani interpreted that Sav had not asked to be sucked off as a hint that he wanted to last a little longer. He made up his mind and smiled, then ran his index fingers in circles on Sav's chest around his nipples.

"When you say 'touch', am I reading you right that lips and tongue are also okay?" Jani grinned and bent forward to lap across first one and then the other nipple. "Mmh, I like the taste of these."

* * *

Jani was playing with his chest, his nipples. About to open his mouth to ask for more, Sav got it without having to do so. Lips and tongue took the place of the teasing fingertips. "Yeah, more than okay... that's good, so good..." After so many years of thinking the area basically non-erogenous, the discovery of how responsive his nipples were to Jani's mouth made him squirm in pleasure. Maybe it just took someone who knew what he was doing there, same as Sav had shown Jani a few things he'd never experienced before.

"Not gonna try to go slow," he panted, "don't wanna stall out..." If that happened, as it had to Jani earlier, he would be in for a bad case of blueballs and probably come off in his sleep. Neither prospect appealed. Pushing the vibrator against his prostate harder, Sav ground against the toy.

His thighs and abs were beginning to quiver, and his chest felt like an electric current ran side to side and also down to his groin. "I'm so hard..." he groaned, and grasped his erection around the base, squeezing to exert some control. "Need to come... you don't have to but I want your mouth on my dick..." Sav gasped out the last. He moved to his body's most primal rhythm, it was probably obscene as hell but the thrusting gyrations felt so fucking good. The impending release gathered in his tensed muscles and balls, while his hole clenched again and again around the fake dick so deep in him.

* * *

His instinct had been right: Jani took one nipple into his mouth and sucked, softly at first, then increasingly harder when Sav's sounds betrayed his growing arousal. Since he had only one mouth, Jani alternated between the nipples so that each got the treatment of sucking and pinching.

When Sav asked for his mouth on his dick, Jani wasn't surprised. "I know I don't have to," he whispered, "but I really want to." For a fleeting moment he had the thought that with his mouth on Sav's erection and his hands on Sav's chest, a weird sense of symmetry was satisfied, but before he could begin to wonder why he'd think that, Sav's next groan made it clear that his attention was needed elsewhere.

The moment Jani wrapped his lips around the throbbing shaft it was obvious that he wouldn't have to do much: Sav's hips were thrusting and it didn't look as if he had a lot of conscious control over it. Jani loved that Sav was so far gone with lust. By now he was experienced enough to know that he could take it. He breathed in, then sucked hard and prepared for the flood.

* * *

Groans of "Oooohh gaaawwwd," and hisses of "Yesss, yessss," was all Sav could vocalise now. He was close, so close! Jani's hot, wet mouth around his erection set off a new cascade of tingling shivers all over his body, which converged as he went higher, closer... he knew a millisecond before he started to come that he was going to, and pushed the vibrator as deep as he dared, rubbing it hard into his g-spot. Jani's tongue hit all the right nerve endings around the ridge of his cockhead and his slit even while thick, creamy spunk began to spurt. The noises coming out of his throat were barely human, half yell, half whine, and somewhere in there, "Jani, Jani, please, please!" It was like the guitarist was trying to suck it out of him, and he loved giving it to him. Sav didn't know what he was begging for, other than that the intense release rip him apart and make him whole again.

And it did. He felt like the inner workings could barely handle his load; there shouldn't be much considering the days and days of constant sex but it kept coming, first in jets, then trickles. Chemicals flooded him, making him limp and giggly. His free hand found Jani's hair, and he threaded his finger through the soft strands. "Easy..." he whispered. One second to the next, he needed a break, but not to be set adrift yet.

* * *

...and then Sav was coming. Jani's eyes widened as he struggled to swallow the offering while allowing Sav as deeply in his throat as possible. Judging from the sheer amount of fluid, Sav must have had one heck of a spectacular climax. The thought made Jani smile as he continued to suck until Sav asked him to ease off. He carefully released the softening dick from his mouth and flattened his hands on Sav's chest, then stretched out next to him.

Jani was silent, giving Sav time to come back to his senses, drinking in his features meanwhile: In little more than a day, he'd have but his memories of the man, so he let his eyes run over Sav's body, mapping him out so he could remember every spot later.

* * *

For a minute or two, Sav just laid there breathing hard, otherwise feeling leaden but at the same time like he was floating. He was aware of Jani crawling up next to him again, and of eyes on him, all over him. He'd had to get used to people staring at him, but this was different, this was the man he loved, and they'd just... 'Intimate' was the word that came to mind.

The first thing Sav did when he could move again was reach behind himself and work the vibrator out. The buzzing had stopped; the batteries must have died. Dropping it over the side of the bed to the floor, he finally looked at Jani. "Thanks... for that, blowing me. Consider me a semi-expert in telling you, you've gained some mad skills. I wanna return the favour again before... well, you know."

* * *

"Before, yeah." Jani closed his eyes for a moment. What would happen after the 'before' wasn't something he wanted to think about. Nor did he think that he was as skilled as Sav suggested, but unless he wanted to find himself in another not-so-pleasant discussion with Sav he'd better keep that to himself. Sav's offer to return the favour would be very welcome, though, provided that he could ever get it up again.

Not that he was worried about that. "Right now it doesn't feel as if I'll be in a position to enjoy you returning the favour, but let's see in an hour," he grinned, then continued a little more serious, "Or tomorrow. Really, I don't think I can get my balls to cooperate any time soon. You've taken such good care of me... Should I say too good of care? Nah, I'm not complaining." He beamed.

"So my guess is that you're, um, sated, too, right? Should we give Monty Python another try?"

* * *

No way was he going to get it up again for at least 12 hours, and that was if he had a good sleep. "We make a good case for shooting blanks. My balls hurt just to think about it right now... or something like that." Sav winced at the very idea.

"Yeah, let's finish the movie. Wouldn't be right to leave off in the middle like that. We never finished the Sonata DVD, either. It's always some form of interruptus, huh? I'll try to behave." Sav flashed a quick grin, then rolled out of bed and found his clothes. His arse was maybe a little sore, but it was good. Based on Jani's careful movements, things were probably about the same for him.

* * *

"Lucky you for having me act as your clean-up," Jani smirked as he watched Sav gather his clothes. "I should probably wash before I get dressed. Unless of course," he cocked his head and grinned wider, "you want my spunk all over your clothes, in which case I'll be happy to borrow some."

* * *

Looking down at himself, Sav wrinkled his nose. "Goes to show you just how..." what was the best word? Sated. Satisfied. Out of it. "...how buzzed I still am off the afterglow that I didn't even notice. You made quite a mess, which you know I admire and don't mind at all. But, it's already getting sticky and itchy so I'm with you – wash, then dress."

Sav set his bundle of clothes on the bed, away from any additional traces of DNA. Yep, he'd need to change the sheet again, blanket, too. "I'm gonna take a quick shower, but you go ahead first."

* * *

"No, I'm good, I already had a shower in the morning so I'll just give my belly and chest a quick wash. But I, um," Jani looked down, "hope you don't find me disgusting for saying this, I'd want you to come all over me just before you have to fly back the the UK on Saturday, and then I'd want to dress in something of yours over it. And, um, play the gig wearing you."

* * *

Sav's jaw dropped. He stood there, probably looking like an idiot, for a long moment. Well then, Jani was going to give him a run for his money over whose was the dirtiest mind! Then he laughed, especially at Jani's 'cat who got the cream' – how apt! – expression. "Not disgusting... unless I'm just as disgusting that I find it sexy. I'll make sure to pack an extra set of clothes for you."

Either because he was loopy or just had a filthy mind anyway, Sav's brain continued to play out other similar things they might try. Maybe it was a good thing his dick was 99 percent dead right now. "You go ahead and wash," he gestured toward the bathroom door. "I'll change the sheets. Again."

* * *

Jani had held his breath while waiting for Sav's reaction. When Sav laughed, he was relieved: his proposal had been bold and he didn't know Sav that well yet, but confiding in him about what he wanted had been the right idea. "I came in with hand luggage only," he quipped, "but now it looks as if I'll return with a suitcase full of your clothes."

Walking over to the bathroom Jani gave his chest and belly a perfunctory wash like he'd announced, then put on his sweat pants and a shirt.

"I'll see you in the kitchen in a moment," he said to Sav when he was done and the blond entered the bathroom. "I'll start coffee, enjoy your shower." He smiled at his lover again and left, already looking forward to the movie and coffee.

* * *


End file.
